Before you go on to try to invest all of this time into figuring out Openers and other technicalities of the trade, think about this for a second:

Suppose you spent all of your time trying to figure out what the best techniques are for you to use. You go through much effort to figure this out, and in the end you eventually figure out how to do the ideal opener.

You now have this great big sense around you that now you can approach any girl, and she will be interested in you. So eventually, you go up to a girl, armed with all of the opener knowledge you know, and you muster up the bravery to rip one out.

She laughs.


Brain fart.

What do you do now? You don't know, because you have been spending all this time being so technical, that you don't even know what in the world you are going to say next. When the plan didn't pull through like you thought it would, you failed to pick up from there, and you lost your ability to hold a decent conversation.

The big thing that most amateurs fall under the illusion of is that if they have the perfect opener, and they have a plan for everything, then all of a sudden the girl that they want will instantly fall for them. That's not how it works though.

Someone who goes through their entire life being technical will never have the capability to find any true, long-lasting relationship. They will continuously live under this illusion that if they have the mechanics, then the women will always want to be with them.

Like in the movie Hitch, Will Smith will get you started off well with the right tactics. After that, you're on your own. Mechanics can be important, but they only take you so far. If you watched the movie, you would know that the reason Albert scored out of his league was not because he followed Hitch's advice, but because he was confident and he was himself.

Which now gets me to the main point in my post, and the title of the thread.

It's all in the confidence. It's all in being able to trust yourself, and go into a situation knowing that you will be positive and natural. It's all in being able to carry yourself, knowing that no matter what happens, you will still have a great day.

Overall, I'm not saying that you should not be technical. The good thing about the technical stuff is that it can give you the lowdown on dating laws and ideas on what you should say. What I am attempting to get across is that technicality can only carry you so far. The rest of the way all lies in you.

Good luck rookies, and may the force be with you.