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Thread: Assume Familiarity!

  1. #1
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Assume Familiarity!

    When you’re out & about & you see a girl you want to approach, how do you feel? Do you get nervous? Do you struggle with what to say or how to act?

    The key to a successful approach is to have fun! Don’t worry about the outcome.

    Here’s a technique I’ve used that has been very successful: “Assuming Familiarity”.

    What I mean by that is, when I go to approach a girl, I act as if I already know her… kinda like we’re old friends. (Or at least have been previously acquainted in some way. ) Smile big! Have lots of upbeat, positive energy… and have fun!

    One way I’ve done this is to walk up & outstretch my arms to give her a hug while I look her in the eyes, & smile… & say “Heeeeey You!!!”

    In a club setting this works amazingly well! It’s flirty, it’s bold, it’s direct. It expresses confidence & fun. And you can get pretty much any girl to give you a hug at pretty much any time, as long as you don’t come off as creepy or unsure of yourself.

    After that, I go into teasing & bantering… just making a playful interaction.

    What happens is, the girl either thinks that she knows me but can’t remember where from, or she’ll play along with me knowing I’m flirting… & sometimes they’ll ask if we’ve ever met.

    If they happen to ask if we’ve ever met… I’ll say, “Of course silly! You couldn’t have possibly forgotten already… We just met like 10 seconds ago, when I came over here & hugged you… Your short-term memory is either terrible, or you were just completely caught up in the moment I guess.” & then wink at her & give her a playful nudge with your elbow.

    Also- if she doesn’t ask if you’ve ever met before, you can always ask HER & use the same idea… “So, do you remember when we met? …..You DON’T? Ohhh my! Well it was like 10 seconds ago when I came over & hugged you. What’s up with your memory?? “ *wink, nudge, smile

    The thing is, you’re NOT trying to pick her up! You’re being fun & friendly… sociable, flirty & just goofing around.

    There’s no pre-determined outcome. You are JUST meeting people & having a good time.

    However; this technique CAN produce rapid attraction & allow you to “pick her up” if you maintain that same fun vibe & continue being flirty.



    People feel more comfortable around other people they already know.
    So, when you “assume familiarity” it has a subconscious effect on both you AND her, which puts you both more at ease. It disrupts her defense mechanism / b!tch shield & lets you glide in under the radar.

    Now, what happens if she doesn't react positively?
    You keep moving on to other girls nearby & do the same thing.
    She’s gonna see you hugging all these different girls & think you must have a high Social Status / social value. (And so will all the other girls!)

    When girls see other women accepting you, it makes you more attractive because they become curious about you.

    And chances are, if a girl DOES happen to respond negatively at first, she’ll track you down a little later to ask for a hug! (Seriously! That’s happened before!)

    The girl was in a bit of a pissy mood earlier in the night… but later on she tracked me down & talked to me, asked me for a hug & bought me a drink! All because I didn’t let one silly girl ruin my state.

    Notice that I didn’t use some big scripted opener/routine… I didn’t ask for a “girl’s opinion”. I didn’t beat around the bush & pretend I wasn’t interested…

    I said TWO WORDS & hugged her. That’s all. THAT was my opener.

    From there, I wasn’t worried about transitioning into a conversation… I was just being fun & flirty. It didn’t matter what I said... All that mattered was, my body language & attitude.

    So the next time you’re nervous about meeting a “stranger” change the way you think about it. Assume familiarity & act as if you already know her.



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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Eerie how similar our styles are. But you definitely still have your own flavor T-Mal. Very nicely done.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Eerie how similar our styles are. But you definitely still have your own flavor T-Mal. Very nicely done.
    Thanks man!
    And yeah.. I noticed a lot of similarities too!

    I just like making things more fun & "original" rather than trying to remember a scripted routine.

    Now, I might take the idea of a routine & tweak it a bit to fit my personal style... especially if it's something along the lines of what I might naturally do. But I'm definitely more comfortable when I'm spontaneous.



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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Some of my best stuff is because I was just having fun and not using any lines
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    One of my favorite & most memorable times was the "Dog Crap Opener"...
    I "scripted" the idea myself... but pretty much blew it when I tried to remember what I was "supposed to say".

    But in the middle of screwing it up I started laughing & it came off as totally genuine & unique.

    (I think it probably worked out better that way now that I think about it!!) LOL!


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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    muy excellente my Nashville amigo
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bandit View Post
    muy excellente my Nashville amigo
    Gracias mi amigo de Atlanta.

    I've been meaning to post this technique for a couple weeks & FINALLY got around to it.


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  8. #8
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Fantastic! Love the idea and I can definitely see this working. However should I be careful? I am a decently built guy and I am a little afraid they might be terrified of me mugging them or something haha!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyboy86 View Post
    Fantastic! Love the idea and I can definitely see this working. However should I be careful? I am a decently built guy and I am a little afraid they might be terrified of me mugging them or something haha!
    LOL!!!
    It all depends on your body language & congruency...

    Make sure you smile when you approach. A smile can diffuse a defense shield rather easily.


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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Assume Familiarity!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyboy86 View Post
    Fantastic! Love the idea and I can definitely see this working. However should I be careful? I am a decently built guy and I am a little afraid they might be terrified of me mugging them or something haha!
    I have this problem too. My shoulders are like twice the width of most girls and if I approach too directly (read head on, not Direct Game) many girls get intimidated.

    For this to work with bigger people you just have to make your body language read "open." When you approach make sure your palms are open with your arms more to your side than in front of you. Make sure you have a big goofy teethy grin to go along with it.

    I'm definitely using this the next time I'm at a club. Hell, I might try it on the street for shits and giggles!
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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