So I quickly paint a picture with the necessary details of this HB8 that is recently single.
We have been friends for a while and when we first started talking it was HEAVY flirtation with texts, phone conversations, and pics....and hanging out on occasion without her boyfriend knowing about it. All of this while she had a boyfriend of 7 years.... i had a suspicion he was a pussy and boring.
The tension got so heated between us, I spilled that I had an interest in her beyond friends ( I know AFC move, but she was clearly never going to make any headway in that direction and I needed to shake things up or fall into the friendzone.... that just gives her what she desires from me while having a bf).
So of course she kinda freaked because she has a boyfriend, got angry in the following days with things that were irrelevant and we lost touch for months.
Slowly we talked again and we kept a bit more on the friend level ( to be honest I did miss our friendship). Some flirting but not like before.
Then she finally breaks it off with her boyfriend....she rebounds with some other dude ( no sex apparently) who was super sprung, talked about marriage and said he loved her. She broke it off with him because he said he loved her but never made her a priority.
So then she asks me out to dinner...first time I was just gauging if we still clicked....no Kino but deep conversations.
She then starts texting me a lot and asks to hang out again.....and this is where it goes to hell...aka friendzone
We have a fun evening and there is some flirting and kino with escalation. We get into her car and I wanted to gauge where she was at mentally and emotionally in general......she then proceeds to tell me that shes an emotional wreck, feels emotionally exhausted, and needs to figure herself out. But then goes into saying how she feels lonely and needs a guy who views relationships and love the same way she does ( we talked about how we both see things the same way and most people dont).......
The conflicting things she was saying made me want to toss my hat into the arena(she sayss he wants to be single but hates being lonely and wants love).....I tell her that we never talked about what I said last year in regard to liking her more than a friend and I asked what she was thinking when i said that...her reply?..."I thought...he has NO IDEA what he is getting himself into"...which i read as....she likes me but is afraid to wreck things.
After this I felt deflated. A girl who WANTS a dude would jump at the chance....esepcially if I brough it up again....So the next day we text a bit and i tell her that I am a bit emotionally mixed up myself and going to talk to my pastor about it....but he might tell me to cut someone out of my life that I dont want to......she thinks its her...I confirm its her.
After the counseling session I decided to be part of her life still but to definitely stay at a distance...I text her back just to say hi basically so she knows I am not totally kicking her to the curb......
The next day she texts me a lot and i ignore most of them.....when I do text i reframe myself as a more of an aloof man that is angry at her and scolding her.....she eats it up.
BUt then she turns her charm on and says things I like hearing and I fall for it and go back to how we normally talk....and her responses get shorter.
Where to go from here to reignite the passion on her side and avoid friendzone...I know I have to make her work for it ....which I apln on doing by distancing myself and only talking to her when she contacts me...and when I do i will reframe into the flirty kinky type again.....but should I aske her out or let her to do the asking out?......i feel I should be more assertive and not let her do all the asking out...but at the same time I dont want to be an AFC and look to eager. thoughts on how to go about this?