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Thread: I Think You're Fat

  1. #1
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default I Think You're Fat

    My success in recent times has been considerable. My text game has broken many bounds, and I am now efficiently shooting game over Facebook while feeling natural, yet calculated. Overall, I am transforming into the person that I have always wanted to be.

    However, I am having a new problem coming up when approaching women. I find myself rapidly imagining great approaches and conversations when I am in vicinity of initiating one, but that is the problem. They end up remaining thoughts and plans, but they never pull through in physical form. If I take that first step, I can easily roll from there, but many years of being forced and programmed into filtering my thoughts and keeping them to myself has created something that now hurts me instead of helps me.

    Coincidentally, just as this problem has come up, an answer has come along with it at the same time, and I have been field testing this and have found considerable improvement in my ability to take the first step.

    For those of you who are not familiar with it, TED Talks is basically spreading and talking about unique and interesting ideas. One of the speakers on the site, A.J. Jacobs, often likes to experiment on himself. From acting out the bible, to living healthy, he has done some very absurd things.

    One thing that Jacobs did was for one month he said the truth... All the time. He did this in response to an article that said that you should never lie. His response to this adventure is appropriately labeled "I think You're Fat".

    As I was listening to this, I thought about something. For this guy to basically tell someone if they looked ugly or if he didn't like them must have taken a lot of balls. And then I began to think about the idea of social conditioning. If you do something over and over again, it will eventually click in as natural and instinct. So that's where I got my grand idea of how to cure my inability to act on my thoughts:

    Tell the truth.

    I decided to basically force myself to say whatever was on my mind, whether it was bad or not. The goal of doing this was to break down the machine of conditioning I had built up for a decade. In turn, this would allow me to act on a heartbeat instead of imagining me acting on a heartbeat.

    Here's an example of what I put myself through.

    The other day, I was sitting in the caf having lunch with a group of girls that I usually have lunch with. They were babbling on about emails and such, but I really wasn't listening. I wasn't paying attention because I was focused on my kickass shrimp and lobster stir fry, and frankly I couldn't care less about the boring topic they were talking about. Eventually, one of the girls goes.

    "Wow Swagman, you're awfully quiet today, what's up?"

    Taking this as an opportunity to break down my walls, I said:

    "Well frankly your conversation is extremely boring and I have no interest in it because it is not on anything that I would be dying to know about, so I have taken to myself and my shrimp."

    The girls were shocked. One of them goes "Wow, well ummm, what should we talk about?"

    I could have gone into Nice Swagman mode here, but I'm working on trying to kill that sneaky bastard too. Already having jumped off the cliff, I decided that a trick or two wouldn't hurt, so I whipped out Sassy Swagman.

    "I don't know, do you have anything that would be interesting to me whatsoever?"

    These girls at this point were just literally like "Who the f--- is sitting across the table from us?" One of the two was laughing though at my "out of sorts" display. I decided at this point to pull the parachute chord since I accomplished what I wanted to and I initiated the conversation, controlling it from there. I taunted one of the girls at a point on eating disorders and releasing her inner fat person, and that making love was a form of burning calories. They both couldn't stop laughing on that one.

    I learned another thing in that episode right there besides furthering the destruction of my old social machine. I learned that even a bad thing, if said in boldness, strength, and a lot of confidence won't hurt your chances. In fact, it may even help you by showing you are a man who doesn't take crap for nothing.

    My success has been considerable. I am finding it much easier to say what is on my mind, and initiating conversation is becoming easier. I'm also slowly starting to speak in the manner that I would love to speak in. Overall, I must say that this approach to fixing my action ineptness is working.

    If you're having issues saying what you want to say, and doing what you want to do, take a shot at this. Just don't do it on your boss or teacher
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I Think You're Fat

    Bravo! Bravo! This is awesome. I know the power of honesty myself and can even be bold. But I do have a line. I have used the "you're boring" thing, but not the "I think you're fat." There is the underlying thing going on when you're that honest:

    1. They trust you easier

    2. They respect you, even if they don't like you

    3. It builds unimaginable Tension, that only you can release with humor

    4. You are definitely NOT seeking their approval

    The tough part is when someone takes it personally and you have a fight on your hands. Once you get it down on how to recover from those people you're golden. I haven't pushed it that far for a fight, but I am good at defusing situations so I'm not too worried.

    One of the worst things I've said was this. It's funny, but aweful. Mind you, she was a friend of a friend and I've never gotten anywhere with her (Not that I've tried). So don't take this as a technique.

    We were at the club and my friend has this Asian friend of hers. She's a gorgeous girl. But there's ANOTHER Asian girl that I know and bumped into. I actually got them mixed up for a min. I brought this to her attention.

    Me: You know, don't take offense, but it's funny how I thought that girl over there was you.

    Her: Oh it's ok. I don't take offense.

    Me: So you're admitting that you all look alike?

    Her: You farking ass! Lmao.

    Ah man that was aweful. I wasn't even running game, but there is a certain charm about it. I guess lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I Think You're Fat

    Thank you Batman. I can't say that I would never tell a girl that I think she's fat. I have told girls that before when they have asked for an honest opinion of how they looked in certain outfits. It's just a part of my ability to be painfully honest. The reason this was entitled "I Think You're Fat" is because that was the name of the lecture by Jacobs.

    Overall, I'm just trying to work on being an ass. Unusual, but I'm way too much of a nice guy, so I have to work on making myself more dominating and strong-willed. So far, it is yielding good results.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I Think You're Fat

    Thanks, Swagman. Nice post. I like the brutal direct honesty style and am working towards that. Here's my step-by-step plan:

    1. Complete honesty towards myself (done)
    2. Complete honesty towards others
    3. Complete honesty towards women

    I'm working on numbers two and three, and have increased in honesty A LOT. Before I started, I was very secretive and wanted to keep nearly everything that happened in my life to myself, no matter how small the issue. However, like you, I'm running into some brick walls. I wonder what it is exactly that gave you the ability to break it and put your balls on the table.

  5. #5
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Think You're Fat

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    Thanks, Swagman. Nice post. I like the brutal direct honesty style and am working towards that. Here's my step-by-step plan:

    1. Complete honesty towards myself (done)
    2. Complete honesty towards others
    3. Complete honesty towards women

    I'm working on numbers two and three, and have increased in honesty A LOT. Before I started, I was very secretive and wanted to keep nearly everything that happened in my life to myself, no matter how small the issue. However, like you, I'm running into some brick walls. I wonder what it is exactly that gave you the ability to break it and put your balls on the table.
    Thanks Virgil, I really like your simplified step-by-step process. It makes it easier to think about and it goes along in lines of what I'm aiming for.

    To your question, I have two answers to it. The first is actually your first step. I took about a day to sit in front of a chalkboard and write down everything about myself. I also often take time to meditate, visualize, and I will actually bring up memories that are bad or painful and I will confront them. I will address it and work towards calming myself while addressing the situation. I have found that doing this actually does a ton to boost your confidence and kill any looming negativity that you may have.

    The second thing is that I am so sick and tired of always getting rejected that I'm willing to put myself through just about anything in order to get what I want. I know that the only way I'm going to get what I want is to just simply speak my mind and force myself into doing it. If I have any doubts, I just simply tell myself "Do you want to go back to what you were before?" With that thought in mind, there's no where to go but forward.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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