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Thread: All about "flirting"!!

  1. #1
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default All about "flirting"!!

    One of the questions I've been getting most often lately is, "What is flirting?" or "How do you flirt?"

    Here's what flirting ISN'T:

    Having a great conversation with a girl.
    When a guy talks to a girl about all the things he has in common with her, a lot of times he thinks things are going great & the girl is "really into him".
    But that's not necessarily the case.

    That's called, "Building rapport".

    Yes, rapport IS important, but it's NOT what you want to focus on in the beginning stages after you meet a girl.

    When you understand this, it can help accomplish two major things:
    It can help keep you OUT OF the "friend zone"... and it can eliminate the problem of trying to think of "what to talk about".

    A lot of guys worry about keeping a conversation going, or running out of things to say. That's usually because they're unknowingly trying to FORCE rapport too early.
    It feels unnatural, so it becomes difficult.

    Here's the thing; it IS unnatural to work on rapport that soon. That puzzle piece doesn't fit there.
    That's why you have to build ATTRACTION by flirting.

    So, what is "flirting"?

    Flirting is being playful & silly... & using teasing / bantering.

    Razz her, joke with her, make her have FUN.
    Playfully bust on her about her awkwardness or inexperience with specific things.

    If she sucks at bowling, then give her a hard time about it.

    If she spills a drink, make a comment like "Oh that's cool... I can't take you anywhere nice." & wink at her with a playful smile.

    If she likes to dance, (whether she's good or bad at it) tease her about forgetting the moves to 'Dance Central'

    If she's having a bad game of pool or darts or whatever, bust on her & tell her she's "never gonna make the next shot".

    Make little "bets" with her...
    "If you make this next shot, I'll buy the next round... but if you miss, YOU'RE buying!"

    Poke at her, give her a playful elbow nudge or hip-check/bump... flick her on the forehead with your finger.

    If she says something ridiculous, look at her with a puzzled look & say something like, "Did that make sense in your head?" or "Hmmmm... you may want to think about NOT speaking for a while..." *then give her a devilish, cheeky smile & gently shove her away on her shoulder.

    THAT is flirting.

    THAT is how you're gonna stand out from most other guys & build attraction.

    THAT is what's gonna make her want to see you again... as well as, keep seeing you in the future.

    THAT is going to keep you out of the friend zone.


    So, don't confuse "having a great conversation" with flirting... because they're not the same thing.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  2. #2
    costarica's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: All about "flirting"!!

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    So, don't confuse "having a great conversation" with flirting... because they're not the same thing.
    This is absolutely, positively, 100% truth.
    - CR

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    Took me a long time to figure this out; I used to always be very guilty of building to much comfort and not enough attraction and then wondered why I had so many female friends lol.

    My question though is, how do you spice this up via text?

    I use nicknames a lot and teasing questions but my problem is escalating past this light stuff. I want to be able to get her to think about me in a more sexual way... touch etc. but I'm not sure how to amp it up.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    i like to remember that pretty much everything tht was funny when you were a little kid at school....is still funny now i flick, i poke, i tickle, i pretend to sulk for no reason, all with the excuse of flirting :P and it works lol

    Linking x

  6. #6
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    In line with what TMal's saying, I also use lines that communicate that they are hitting on me and its not working.

    Ex. "Do you really think your going to get very far with flattery? I'm not that easy!"
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    I've said that before too... and something similar, but with a twist:

    "You think I'm easy don't ya!? .... well, OK... you got me! I am sometimes." *wink/smile


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    Haha I have a variation on that I use as well.

    'I'm not that easy ...............unles s you have like REALLLY massive boobs ' (doing big boobs hand sign whilst saying it)

    Linking x

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    This thread should be sticky. Sticky. Sticky.
    No, this thread should be mandatory for anyone who enters in this forum. Like "check this box if you read this thread and you can register in puaforums".

  10. #10
    Hightower4000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: All about "flirting"!!

    Thanks for this post. I am terrible at flirting and have a lot of practicing to do!


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