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  • 1 Post By TheDuke

Thread: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

  1. #1
    ShredSomeLicks is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    Hello!

    I would like to share an experience which will lead to the question.

    Im a very fun person. Im almost always in a good mood, have a smile on my face, crack jokes.
    Once in a while I'll have a bad day at work. As a result, my patience is short, my tolerance for bullsh1t is almost zero, I give stern looks when walking by people - The kind of look where its like I'm saying "Go ahead, try me. I'll rip you a new one." When I am in this mood, Im not mean, I just don't have any patience and I get right to the point.

    So, I don't plan on having bad days and I dont try to be a d1ck. However, when it happens, something interesting comes as a result - People's respect for me is dramatically increased.

    How do I balance this out? I don't want to be a d1ck all the time cause it doesn't feel good. I'm naturally a happy person and would like to maintain that way of life while at the same time earning everyone's respect.

    In summary, its almost as if the following is true: being fun and smiling and happy and sometimes goofy doesn't earn as much respect as someone who is always serious, badass looking, etc. Am I right?

    Any thoughts? Thank you for reading.
    Last edited by ShredSomeLicks; 03-13-2013 at 10:35 PM. Reason: more info

  2. #2
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    Well I will tell you what I do and you can see if you can incorporate that into your ideals.

    Basically when it comes to being nice, being a d1ck, and being fun I would definitely say there is a time and place for everything under the sun.

    Being fun all the time will make you a clown
    Being a d1ck all the time will get you high stress and be hard on your mind
    Being nice all the time will make you into a nice guy and we know what happens to nice guys.

    Basically when people piss me off I forgive them and I used to always let people walk over me. Now I know when I speak to a jerk or mean girl or something I use cocky funny or a "better than you" attitude but not in a mean way to stoop to their level but be a jerk to them in a nice way.

    I cut the cards and am like "Look" this is the way it is and if you don't like it "take a hike". This is my attitude and Mindset since I don't actually say this.

    This would be pretty hard to balance though since you would be essentially becoming a badass and like super nova and all that and a bag of chips if you could pull this off.

    Personally I am still learning how to become a badass by following this ideal you mentioned. If you figure it out let me know.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    There's nothing wrong with having bad days.. we all have them.

    The key to being a badass & a true alpha man is this:
    Being able to CONTROL your emotions & not react like a douchebag... even if you're in a crappy mood.

    A real alpha man will express his true feelings with tact & respect, regardless of the situation.

    It takes a lot of work & self-training to be able to do this, but it's important to become that kind of guy.

    Women get turned off by guys who become over-emotional & are unable to control the way they act & react to things... So don't let "bad days" affect you to the point of becoming a d!ck just because you're mood isn't up to par.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
    FriendzoneDominator is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    A lot of girls do like moody men. But if you are a moody man, I don't think you belong or need this forum. The very emotional men attract women that are PUAs who can control and tame their men's mood swings and get excited about the interesting, passionate and unstable man.

    I personally don't want a woman that has no temper, is always the same and doesn't bring any havoc in my life. And some women that feel that their lives are too boring want the same.

    But you can't learn to be borderline, so if you aren't just keep your cool!

  5. #5
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    All males I know with borderline personality disorder have no problems to get girls. It just comes natural for them as they are sometimes in Alpha++-mood and totally unstoppable then. (Keeping women is another issue for them though...)

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    "Getting" girls is rarely the problem... even for guys who are over-emotional or d!cks...

    "KEEPING" the girl is where they usually have difficulty.

    So, if your goal is to find "THE ONE" & be able to attract & KEEP her, then you definitely want to be able to keep your emotions in check.

    However, if you're happy bouncing from girl to girl & never building anything solid relationship-wise, then you'll probably do just fine being reactive when you're having a bad day.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    Well, my personal problem is often that I'm not passionate enough (which is a huge problem when trying to attract girls), so from my point of view everyone else looks moody :P

    My last relationship ended with us starting to be only very good friends. (I was just walking her dog, by the way :P )

    So I guess one needs passion in moderation. If you're too passionate, get a girl who isn't, and vice versa, and the relationship works the best!

    (My friend got together with another borderline person, and that lasted 2 weeks or so... Now she has moved in with a guy that is pretty much like me and that works great for them.)

  8. #8
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finding balance between being nice, fun and being a d1ck

    Ok, we all now know you have a thing for BPD. We get it, stop mentioning it. It's weird.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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