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Thread: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

  1. #1
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
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    Exclamation Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Hi,

    I don't have time to write a post in the new member intro thread, so I'll give a brief intro here and ask a couple of questions to help me in my dilemma, if thats all right?

    I'm 23, I really never had success with woman. I've had a lot of woman flirt with me or check me out, but I guess I was always too shy or socially anxious to go any further. I usually would get put in the friend zone and it sucks! After being put in the friend zone, chicks would open up and we would joke about sex or relationships, but I couldn't really find a way to escalate the interaction. I'm really inexperienced sexually; the only times I could get a kiss or sex was if I was in a drunken high school party.

    One example of being friend zoned: I was a friend with this one girl and I subtlety tried to escalate the interaction more sexually and she thought I was joking around and she said, "having sex or kissing you would be like doing that to my brother!" Imagine that! I'm so far in the friend zone, she thinks of me as a brother! Not cool.

    There was a little intro about me; Basically, a lot of chicks check me out or find me attractive but I suck at pushing further.

    Here's my problem now, there's a cashier in this store that really likes me. My friend gave her my number to text me without knowing.

    Her first text (paraphrasing):I was wondering when we would get to talk! Tell me a little bit about yourself, besides being sooo attractive

    Yesterday we were texting for a while and later in the day she asked me to come by the store to talk to her while she was closing. I was kind of nervous, but I remembered 3 second eye contact, alpha male body language, smiling, etc. The conversation went really well. I made her laugh and smile and she opened up well. Beginners luck? I hope not...

    This is where I might have a little beta-ish. She asked me if I would want to watch a movie with her, I said yes and I asked which movie she wanted to watch (I'm nervous, but trying to keep my cool). She said to come to her house to watch a movie and she would text me today. I felt like I didn't lead the situation, but I'm new, so it's just a newbie mistake I guess.

    So I need help flirting and escalating the situation and know when to go in for the kiss, etc. My friend that knows her, said she's really into me, as in probably wanting me to sleep with her. I'm nervous as hell because I haven't been in this kind of situation for about 4 years. I must be good at faking it though...

    I hope someone on here can help me out A.S.A.P! I'm hoping by 8 o'clock tonight I'll have a couple of tips?

    Thanks so much I hope you didn't mind my first post being so long...

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    First: texting for a while means what precisely?
    Girls do like texting, but it’s a trap and catch-22.. the more you text, the more she has you. Keep texts simple, flirty, but minimal. I have become extremely successful in setting up a date or hang out with just 3 text messages to her.

    Stay away from drawn out text conversations because it leads to NOTHING else to talk about on your hang out. Keep it mysterious and have her wanting more. She may text you, but you have to control the conversation.

    In regards to kissing. You have to observe her body language. Watch where she puts her eyes. I know a girl wants to kiss me if she looks at me, but then looks at my lips.

    I used to do this at the bars all the time. If I was talking to a girl and making her laugh, etc… typically bars are loud so you have to generally be in close proximity towards her. So if I ever saw her looking at my lips, I’d follow her gaze and look at hers, then we typically lock eyes and there ya go. I go in for it.

    It’s all about being able to read her body language. But… big mistake a lot of people do make is that they tend to read TOO much into certain things because they WANT to see certain things. I always say when a guy gets a girls number, so what big deal. It’s just a toe in the door, it really doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s what you can do with it is what matters. The cat isn’t in the bag, so don’t think because you are going over it’s a done deal.

    Keep in mind also to be assertive and confident. From your post you seem very shy and you seem to lack confidence in areas. That isn’t something that will all of a sudden appear in 1 day. But you can fake it until you make it. Faking confidence actually does give you confidence, eventually.

    Tip: If she asks to pick a movie, you pick it. Girls HATE making decisions. Making a decision for her shows confidence. Pick something a little scary too or exhilarating (nothing too goory). Studies do shows that exhilaration heightens sex drives (no lie).

    Flirt with her. find some ioi’s. I like physical flirting. It’s an excuse to touch her (not in a weird way) but you get to see the way she is receptive towards it. If she doesn’t back away from a touch of yours (ie, touching her hand) then that is a good sign.

    You probably are too “nice” off the bat, so you get friend zoned immediately. I am not saying be a complete jerk off the bat, but there is a difference between being too nice, and being nice. Too nice gets you zoned. Being nice doesn’t mean you have to compliment her, be there for her, text her back immediately. Being nice can be just making her laugh and being FUN. That is the key. Girls DO NOT WANT the nice guy. They want the fun guy who is nice.

    Be funny and flirtatious. Bring out emotions in her. How? Don’t ask her the boring questions every guy probably does. I used to like asking questions that makes a girl actually think. Not like, “hey whats your favorite color”… Ask something like, “if you could go anywhere right now, this moment, where and why?” Her brain will tell her to think about this place she wants to go, and of course, it will be a happy thought and you will be there so her mind will associate it with you. It’s a mind game.

    I also am pretty decent at being sensual/sexual. I like to do the whole innuendo thing. I like to ease into the conversation about sex. Not in essence of “hey how many guys have u had sex with.” That is dumb and never ask that. The answer is that it doesn’t matter. But, you should be able to discuss sexual things in a comfortable way, not like 2 13 year olds would. I bring up conversations like: “what celebrity would you have sex with if you had the chance and it was a free card if you were with someone?”… or I bring up conversations about how women are actually more sexual creatures then men are… it sounds sophisticated and I do not recommend it because you are new.

    If you think she wants to go to bed with you, good, but you have to work at it. You can make jokes about why she brought you here alone? I like to say to girls like, “hold on I have to text my friend and tell him that if I don’t make it out tonight to call the police.” It all depends on how you can say it though, because it is literally all about the deliverance of what you say and not at all of what you actually do say.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Mr. Hyde's post is great, but let me make it simpler for you. Kino!!!

    Seriously, it's hard to be put in the friendzone if you are touching her from the start and escalating the touches as you build comfort. Along with this, use compliance tests to escalate your kino.

    Kino is the answer to your problems.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Bring a condom! Thats my advice.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    We only texted for about 15 minutes and it was getting generic, so I didn't text back. Later in the day she sent the text telling me to meet her while she was doing a closing shift. I didn't respond for a while, then she texted, "Are you coming?".

    Me: I'll be there in a little bit, take it easy! I was trying to convey that I was busy and hopefully acting like I was not desperate to meet her. She sent an OK with a smiley face.

    The conversation at the store went really well. I used a couple of open ended questions, eye contact, funny/cocky. Everything flowed smoothly. It went for about 20 minutes, then she asked about the whole movie thing, thats where I guess I screwed up. After that she was getting all her work stuff put away and kind of ignoring me, so I didn't want look desperate by standing there and I said something like, "I'm going to take off, I got your phone number, I'll see you tomorrow."

    I guess I don't really have aa as bad as I thought. I think I handled the conversation ok for newbie. I was just wondering why she invited me to her place to watch a movie? She doesn't even know me that well. I'll see her when I buy stuff at the store and she's the cashier; that's about it.

    Thanks for the extra tips mr8hyde6. I'll try to pay attention to her ioi's and body language. I also like your open ended questions too. Hopefully, tonight will go well.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Take it as it is. She invited u to see u. No need to try to decipher the code of the female mind cause trust me, no one can... But definitely agree that I need to establish u are NOT interested in just being friends and u ARE interested in being more.

  7. #7
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    So a little bit of Kino should take me out of the potential friend zone? Ill try to use a little bit, I don't want to come off too strong though.

    Since well be watching a movie at her place, how should I converse and flirt? I don't want to be the guy talking too much through a movie or the guy that talks too little. I want to have the "just hanging out with friends vibe", but while being flirty and escalating the situation.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Don't "converse" and don't worry about "coming off too strong." You want to be a man. What you have been doing hasn't been working, and since the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, I suggest you try something new.

    Or, you could go, be a little bitch who doesn't want to "come off too strong," and get friendzoned as per your usual experience.

    In my mind, "movie at her house" translates to sexual escalation. Fuck the "just hanging out with friends vibe." Why would you even put the word "friend" in the equation? It sounds like you want to fail.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  9. #9
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    I'm going to tell everyone what happened last night. First off I want to thank everyone for the tips and changing my mind set.

    I texted her and told her I had another movie I had rented and told her let's watch it before I take it back. She happily agreed, thanks to mr. Hyde for this tip. I arrive at her house confidently and with alpha male body posture. She takes the DVD and puts in and I sit on her couch comfortably taking up enough space. She sits within hands length away, it seems like a good sign to me. We start talking a bit and joking around and me teasing her on some of her stories. About 20 min into the movie, her guy roomate walks in. In my mind I'm like, fark! I think he's gonna be some cockblock.

    Well, I build a little rapport with him and BS a little. He heads out and says he'll be back in little bit. 15 minutes later he comes back with his girlfriend that's also a roomate with the chick I'm with. We start introducing ourselves and joking around. I try to keep up with conversation even though most of it is about their friends I don't know. I'm doing this while I'm looking comfortable and and relaxed. They through on some music and we BS a little more. After a while my chick jokes about my curfew time and ask if I can watch another movie. I said something like, "its getting late for my bed time" with a funny deliverance and said I'd watch another movie. (there was a little more, but I'm trying to summarize the night)

    A little into the next movie the 2 roomates go to bed. After them being a sleep for a bit me and her start seriously making out! For about 1.5 hours we are doing this she's on top grinding me and me grabbing her boobs. Seriously I'm not exaggerating the time. I take my shirt of and she does too and a little bit later we are in her room having sex! So we've been making and foreplaying for about 2 hours. The sex was a little awkward though. Hopefully the other 2 hours compensated for this.

    This was the first major success I've had thanks to all of your advice!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Newbie that needs help by tonight!

    Quote Originally Posted by Devil_dog View Post
    Bring a condom! Thats my advice.
    Devil you are the is the most important advice.


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