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  1. #1
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Now don't get me wrong I still think having successes and being in a good emotional state will extremely help your game. I just don't think it is required any more to open the girls you want.


    Depending on your state vs depending on yourself
    Last weekend I went out and got annihilated. I mean I did at least 5 openers and got shot down and shut out over and over. After reflecting on that bad reference experience I realized it is not all about state. Why? Because doing all those so called warm ups didn't help lift my confidence. I realized the old truth "success brings confidence" this is true since the only times I have a super high emotional state is when I am getting somewhere with my approaches.

    I used to think "state, state, state!" and I would run my warm ups to prepare for that "dimepiece or stunner" to be in full gear. This is just not true anymore for me.

    Dynamics of Approaching and knowing your limits
    Now I used to open any old girl that was a slight bit cute. Not now, from now on I am only going to open the ones I am literally attracted to. I used to do this because I was afraid of not seeing any dimepieces and just wanted to learn. Well getting involved with warm ups didn't help me as I intended and I have been falling for girls I never liked to begin with.

    This brings in a ray of confusion that makes it hard for me to know what I want and makes me look kinda desperate. So my new goal is to only approach the women that I am attracted to. I spent all day doing day game once on hot women I didn't want but couldn't approach the girls that I wanted who were hot and I was supposedly in "state".

    So no I don't think warm ups matter anymore even if I have to go to the Club on an off night again I am not going to be spending all my time warming up and getting in "state" with chicks I don't even care about anymore. I am just going to approach the ones I have always been afraid of and go from there. I mean who cares?

  2. #2
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Obviously you care after that whole long spiel. Gotta stop caring my man. The reason why PUA are good at what they do, and they don't need to warm up is because they shifted what it takes to get them warmed up. A lot of the times they get warmed up from just making the approach. Routine kicks in after that, and they're good to go. My point is, you're focusing to much on the end result and not enough what you're doing. You're moving to far ahead in your journey grasshopper, without fully over coming the problems you have now. Approach all girls, just learn not to get attached. View approaching as practice, not as the game. Once you've had enough practice, then you'll be ready for the game. Until then, keep shooting hydokens at the wall until you got the button presses down smoothly.

  3. #3
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Quote Originally Posted by lilsting View Post
    Obviously you care after that whole long spiel. Gotta stop caring my man. The reason why PUA are good at what they do, and they don't need to warm up is because they shifted what it takes to get them warmed up. A lot of the times they get warmed up from just making the approach. Routine kicks in after that, and they're good to go. My point is, you're focusing to much on the end result and not enough what you're doing. You're moving to far ahead in your journey grasshopper, without fully over coming the problems you have now. Approach all girls, just learn not to get attached. View approaching as practice, not as the game. Once you've had enough practice, then you'll be ready for the game. Until then, keep shooting hydokens at the wall until you got the button presses down smoothly.

    Okay thanks for the reality check. Yes I know as I have been told here before I do care too much about the end result (outcome dependant) but the reason is because I want to be good at whatever I do and I hate feeling like I suck at something.

    You brought up a valid point though and I do have a good vision of what I am going to be doing from now on to better understand what I want. I need to learn not to close girls I don't like but it's so hard and sometimes I just close out of habit and then get confused as to if I really like them and sometimes just want the attention.

    With that said my vision is to start checking girls out more (since I have been too modest/AFC) and base my interactions more subjectively rather than objectively as I have been doing. If I like what I see I will throw myself more "all in" if I don't really feel it I will just do it to do it (throwing down like you said). I really need to learn to walk away from a interaction I know is not doing it for me but I make the mistake right now of pushing every set until the very end and it gets me feeling less alpha. I should know to walk away when the time is right and stop being so needy for approval.

    Maybe this will help me realize what I want. I will keep approaching like you said in a non-judgmental way since my previously mentioned method like you said is too shallow. Thanks for the pointers.

  4. #4
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    I think you should continue to open women if for nothing else to get practice of what works and what doesnít. Letís face it with all the information and pua gurus on the internet the HBs will catch on to your game because they would have heard the same line from hundreds of guys. Itís your job to be original with something that fits your personality and style and not some canned lines from the gurus of what you should or shouldnít say. I open women of all types not with the hopes that the interaction will lead to farking but to finesse my style and approach to where it doesnít seem like one. Make sense?

    Iím in a situation now where the guys are after the ladies day and night in hopes of farking them so now the ladies are more aware and have their defenses up. So while they are after them I do the opposite and not chase them and when I interact with them alone I can use my approach so they can drop their defenses which can possibly lead to farking them.

    So my advice is to keep opening them and practicing it will only make you a better pua.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    I follow RSD and basically he points out a few good things about your journey:
    Its not the girl that should get you in state, hot or not its the act of approaching that should warm you up. Getting past your mind to move on to just doing what you want. He says you should have fun talking to an ugly girl just as much as a hot girl. So in transition when you are out for practice go for approaches to achieve reference experiences. Basically any interaction that you do. Over time you will grow and improve having developed RE's. Just approaching hot girls will cut out any other experiences you might have. Also you have to search longer for them. Play to win but play to get more RE's. Say you f-close a 6.7HB Now you have an RE of what its like to close, the day 2, the seduction location. Find out how to get in state faster and your past experiences will also improve you as you go along. Dont be afraid to approach a fatty is what I'm really saying haha

  6. #6
    Devil_dog's Avatar
    Devil_dog is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Quote Originally Posted by flyer1 View Post
    Letís face it with all the information and pua gurus on the internet the HBs will catch on to your game because they would have heard the same line from hundreds of guys. Itís your job to be original with something that fits your personality and style and not some canned lines from the gurus of what you should or shouldnít say.

    So my advice is to keep opening them and practicing it will only make you a better pua.
    One cool Idea I use is I basically go up with nothing in mind. Its hard, really hard but you either learn how to think super fast or just go direct. Canned material works but this day and age I find honesty is always the best method.

  7. #7
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Thinking you have to be in state is a limiting belief. I just recently realized that. I would always think "I gotta warm up before I talk to that girl" when I was already in a social higher energy mood.

    Also, if you go in a lower state, like maybe you're tired, this can slow the conversation down a bit and slow your body movements, which can work to your advantage. Just a thought.

    But yeah, I hope to do some day game tomorrow (weather is supposed to be bad so idk if I will) but now I'm going to go in regardless of my state and just throw it all out there.

  8. #8
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Sounds reassuring, I guess I will have no problem to keep approaching carefree then. But again I think I should play the game with a little more tact and be more conventional.

    What I mean by this is going into sets by going "all in" or going in to get "all jacked up" or going in with an "ace up my sleeve". Retain a humble Mindset I think because I think I was getting a little too complacent there which is what caused my insecurity.

    Now I think I will just focus on getting down my approaches and doing better at pulling out early, doing Push-Pull, keep closing, etc. Basically not stick to one pattern to keep myself engaged. Now these bad reference experiences don't seem so bad since it helped me polish my inner game.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Forget about getting in "state" go for what you want

    Quote Originally Posted by mackdaddyjon View Post
    Now these bad reference experiences don't seem so bad since it helped me polish my inner game.
    Real quick, bad reference experiences and good ones alike will improve your game. You own mind, if you trust it, will find the best approach after learning game and gaining experience. It will force itself to change and know what to do. With anything people who practice all the time cannot always suck.


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