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  1. #1
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default how to not be boring

    This is something that's been bothering me for some time but I'm concerned people find me boring, when I say boring I'm more referring to members of the opposite sex and trying to hold conversations with girls in a social environment. I have been trying to make improvements in my life and have lost 50lbs since last November, I still have more to lose but I definitely look better.The thing is losing the weight isn't going to be enough, I'm in my 30s and I've never been on dates or talked to girls with a view of chatting them up mainly because of my weight and low confidence which arose from that.I have no problem talking to girls if romance or dating isn't on the agenda but I really need to find some interests, challenges etc to make me a more interesting person, at the moment all there is , is work and watching soccer at the weekends, can anyone offer some advice on this

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to not be boring

    Well, this is a loaded question that isn't just a simple answer.

    Being boring may mean anything. It is good you are trying to better yourself and don't give up on that. Kudos on losing weight, it's tough for a lot of people.

    You just have to make a girl laugh. That is my best advice. You might be too worried about what the conversation is going to be or what you will say or what she will say and your natural flow just decipates from there.

    I like to say, it really doesn't matter what you say or what is said... it all matters how you say it.

    The best conversations with girls I meet or go on a date with aren't about work, life, happiness, and the mysteries that life entails. They are literally about nothing at all in particular.

    Make her laugh, be funny. i don't mean tell her knock knock jokes, but give her a good time. People watch with her. I like to play a game when you make up a story about two people in the vicinity. Include her in it. Make up a background story that is funny and outrageous.

    Bottom line though, the root of the problem is deeper than just a simple answer. Here is an excercise that I firmly believe helps people learn how to "speak" to others.
    Next time you go to a store or whatever (mall, book store, etc)... just strike up a conversation with ANYONE there about anything (don't be creepy, so make it about something in the area)... Don't expect anything in return. Don't expect a great conversation, dont expect a long 1 hour chat session. Just expect to say something and maybe get a few words in return. This will help you learn how to just speak with people without worrying too much about what is said. Be a person's person. The better you are, the more you will learn to just speak easy.

  3. #3
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to not be boring

    Really boss you have nothing to worry about.

    Sounds like your attitude is what needs to be adjusted but in due time it will be modified at your own will.

    You know I felt the same way, what can I say to be interesting and different, what stories/experience have I had that I can tell them and would be interesting.

    Well just about anything. Its more so about how you speak and whats on your mind and how you translate that into words/stories.

    More so think about what you can say that would incorporate her interest. You could BS about everyday life and maybe they'll put in their own similar experience. EX: Damn I almost got in a wreck in the other day driving..I was going XXX speed and had to jerk outta the way..whats wrong with people now a days. Open ended experience and assuming they drive Im sure theyd respond with a incident they recently had of a near accident.

    In Gran Tarino with Clint Eastwood he taught that azn kid how to fit in and BS with people. HE had the kid BS some story about his car and taught him how to grab peoples attention and get them to respond with their own experience. Its not necessarily the wording but the emotion and feeling your portraying through what your talking about, thus your looking to stir up similar emotions in the person when your speaking.

    Dont be discouraged though alot of things are on peoples minds and they arent always open to talk about stuff no matter how you approach them.

  4. #4
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to not be boring

    Say whatever comes to your mind without overthinking... that's it's so much more easy to have a good live interaction than to text.

    Kinds laugh a lot because they go by their emotions, not by facts (like men), women go for that too. Why? Because kids say whatever they want... and they do it in a childish way... and they find it amusing. That's the way women will not find you boring. And men too.

    For example... last week a girl and me went to a coffee and I asked the waitress this: "hello, I'm gay. My friend wants to be a model and needs some reassurance if she has what it takes to be one. What do you think?" My friend was surprised and then started laughing when the guy walked away, she turned RED and told me "oh boy, I will never hang out with you again, you're impossible! ahahah". Why? Simply because I wanted to have fun, I didn't care for any reaction, I wasn't looking for approval. I was purely looking to amuse myself. It worked


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