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  • 2 Post By TheManSohan

Thread: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    BACKGROUND
    Met this Asian girl in day time.
    When I proposed to meet her first reaction was "that's dangerous", so I said "alright, no pressure, leave me your FB, I write you and you decide".

    She's OK to meet now but when I proposed my usual bar she replied she doesn't drink and doesn't like the bar atmosphere.

    This doesn't happen often to me and I'm afraid we won't have much in common if anything at all (that I love bar is only the most obvious difference I'm afraid ), so I was wondering:

    QUESTION
    Where would you go, and would you ever try to take a girl like this back home at the first date?

    Any suggestions, any similar experience?

  2. #2
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    You'll want this type of chick for the long term, they're a good kind of girl. Personally with me I would keep the date very fun and light but allow room for WIDE (not deep) rapport.

    Ideas for dates off the top of my head: Shooting some pool, play some bowling, cooking together, walk in the park together, go shopping together, there loads of dates you can have that don't involve drinking.

    A tip for time distortion: This is an old Pick up term which means that you can make her feel like you have spent a lot of time together when you really haven't. This is simple to pull off, have the two of you move to different locations throughout the date. For example you have coffee together, spend half an hour there, you suggest playing some bowling, you go bowling. It works, think of when you where a kid and you went on a birthday party where you did loads of things in a few hours (maybe go to cinema and go-karting later) it would have felt like you spent a few days doing those things.

    As for talking about things. I cannot reiterate how important this is: Think out loud. Don't censor what you have to say, just let it flow. You say you have nothing in common, that's a great position to be in with a girl. Talk about how you two are not similar and so different (Opposites attract). Talk about what you enjoy doing, lead the conversation and lead by example, she will open up and tell you what she thinks. Questions = Pressure on the person who has to answer, Statements and talking about yourself eliminates this as you are setting an example for her answers. You want her to invest.

    You can ask questions but not too many, statements are much better. Make your statements vivid and imaginative, speak about feelings and emotions that are associated with what ever you talk about. Example: If you enjoy playing the guitar. Instead of just saying you play the guitar try something like "Whenever I get free time I spend it with my first love, my Guitar, it's awesome, I feel like I'm one with my guitar when I play, like I'm floating in space and the magic just comes off my fingers, it's how I relax, it's how I express myself, do you have any passions?"

    Values: This is important, more important than most people actually think. Set values for yourself that you live by. Mine are: Honesty, trust and respect. Hers will be different but it doesn't matter who's right about them as long as they're out in the open. This has to come from the soul and no one can tell you what they are. Sit down for a while and right down what you think is important to you when you meet someone and you want to keep them around. Think of 5 Values and have them floating in your head. This will help your game dramatically.

    Qualifying: Think of what you would like from a girl apart from just sex. The most easiest one to think of is cooking. Simply state that you like girls who can cook and ask her if she can cook. Most men never do this and it sets you apart from the rest.

    Statement of Intent (SOIs): If she's attracted to you, you're having good conversations and you think this is going somewhere it's now time to bomb in some statement of intents. They are supposed to give the girl an image of you and her having sex as well as opening more freedom to escalate. Start small (Don't go straight in saying: I want to fark you so hard I'll put you into a coma. You'll freak her out) something that relates to kissing such as "If I where to kiss you right now, on a scale of 1-10 what would I rate your kiss?" go for the kiss here if the reaction is good. If she rejects them (which is normal), laugh it off or take it away. Never take rejection seriously especially with this girl who's not used to this kind of stuff. Persistence is key.

    Kino Escalation: Start small and build up. Pick up a piece of lint on her shirt, brush her hair if it's in her face then move up to holding hands and kissing. Sit next to each other and on opposite ends so you can make the touching happen.

    Flirt and have some fun. Every girl likes to be told she's beautiful but not overwhelmed by it. Make it feel like she's putting off your game and you're trying to keep in control such as telling her it was unfair for her to dress up in that dress because it makes her look so hard you can't even focus properly or that her intelligence is turning you on. These are also SOIs. Tell her that her smile is mischiveous and sexy. Accuse her of hitting on you or being too shy because you know you're hot. Talk about you and her in the future doing cool things.

    Take on some of my tips and use them. Don't worry about this girl, just be comfortable and make the whole thing fun. Leave the pressure at home and just enjoy your date
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  3. #3
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    Oh wow TheManSohan, that was a lot of info, thank you!

    I especially like the "think out loud" part, that would avoid a lot of potentially embarrassing silence moments.

    What do you mean by "wide" rather than "deep" rapport?


  4. #4
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    Deep rapport - When you two can relate to a topic on a different and very in-depth level. For example you both feel that cheating is wrong and you talk for 30 minutes about which involve both your experiences about it. Basically having deep rapport can be good but it's like standing on one leg... it's not very stable.

    Wide Rapport - When you can both talk about anything and feel like no time has passed since you have both talked (You know things are going well when she has noticed it). The way to achieve this is to lead the conversation, giving off a vibe that you are "open" to anything which includes your body language, describing your experiences with feelings and emotions (that's vital especially when you go sexual with SOIs). Basically what wide rapport is discussing a lot of different subjects in different situations which is a lot better because all the subjects add up cumulatively in her head.

    When I say think outloud it is to be honest which what you feel in the moment of time, living in the moment. A lot of what some of the more routine or canned material guys would think is AFC (such as complimenting) can actually work well if you are bold and confident enough which anyone can achieve. Just make solid eye contact and genuinely mean it.

    Once I went on a date and I did not see this chick for 5 weeks so I looked at her after we hugged and said "Wow, I actually forgot how beautiful you actually are" while I was holding her right hand. She liked it a lot mainly because I was bold about it and it wasn't a statement that seeked any sort of approval.
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    Good explanation, like it!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheManSohan View Post
    Once I went on a date and I did not see this chick for 5 weeks so I looked at her after we hugged and said "Wow, I actually forgot how beautiful you actually are" while I was holding her right hand. She liked it a lot mainly because I was bold about it and it wasn't a statement that seeked any sort of approval.
    Nice one!

  6. #6
    KingKino is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    ^This is great stuff. Right on the money.

  7. #7
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A non drinking, conservative girl: how would you approach the date?

    slurpee + walk in the park or around the block works well for me (y)


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