So, I have been reading tons of PUA material these past few months and have been more socially active in order to train my skills.
While I have improved my inner game and manage to spark attraction in the beginning, I keep screwing up in the end. The discussion becomes boring, there are dreaded silences, I stick to the safe topics, I try to look cool, I become too agreeable, etc.
Personally, I hate this phase of seduction because once I know the person better, I open up and become the funniest guy ever (according to my friends). I have so much pressure on the first dates that I mess things up and then the girl never gives me a chance to show her my true personality
The worst thing is that I keep making the same mistakes as before getting into PUA:
*almost no Kino
*no sexual talk/innuendo
*I am funny but not fun, thus I get friendzoned
The truth is that I feel extremely uncomfortable talking about sex (or even acting sexually) with strangers. With my ex, I was extremely naughty and playful. But with girls on a 1st, 2nd, even 3rd date, I am always too hesitant and do not know how to start flirting (for some reason, it doesn't feel right because the girl is a stranger to me).
After many years, I finally managed to admit that if I don't flirt, things will never move on 99% of the time...
However, I still lack the reflexes. When I was dating a HB back in December, it was raining one day and I offered to take her under my umbrella. She immediately grabbed my arm and squeezed herself against me. I was too innocent to realize she was ready to be kissed (needless to say nothing ever happened between us). I have also realised that my single female friends do not view me a sexual thing/threat. It annoys me to no end when they start ranting on the lack of decent males ("hellllloooooo, I am in front of you and I am a free guy!!!!" grrr, I hate that)
However, even after reading a lot, I still fail to understand how sexual escalation actually works. I need more concrete examples with real-life situations. I also need some examples of fun topics to discuss. Also, what type of sexual things can you talk about with a girl you have just met (first dates)?
For example, when is it the right time to touch her. It's so fucking complicated because you pass as a loser if you do it wrong...
Also, I fail to understand how much I should escalate with the girls I am dating with (I am looking for a relationship and not a ONS, so I don't want to jump to sex from the start - I want a decent girl, not a slut). How far can one go on the first date?
This is a major issue for me and I am kinda stuck. Thanks in advance for any useful tips.