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Thread: Very serious AA issue

  1. #1
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Unhappy Very serious AA issue

    Here's my story: I think I have a very resistant mental barrier; I replied to the "Destroy aa" thread with what happened to me yesterday, you can read the long version here:
    Quote Originally Posted by rocketguy View Post
    My long answer to an AA thread
    The short version is: I tried to do an exercise to lower my AA, by going up to people on the street, saying hi and shaking hands ... I couldn't: I froze every time I tried to approach someone, even old people!

    what can I start with, like, the first baby step in order to (partially) overcome AA?
    I mean, what to do, even before the most basic of exercises I could find online?

    Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    Eye contact. Hold eye contact with everyone you see who you walk by. I think that's about as small a step as you can start out with. Smile at them too. Don't be some creepy dude staring

  3. #3
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Question Re: Very serious AA issue

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    Eye contact. Hold eye contact with everyone you see who you walk by. I think that's about as small a step as you can start out with. Smile at them too. Don't be some creepy dude staring
    Thanks for the idea; I've read it before, and I'm currently, flawlessly doing it; I've been doing it for around a month now, since I first read about the confidence and alpha-behaviour that holding eye contact with someone before they break it off gives you; it was weird at the beginning, as I was used to always break eye contact first; now I can walk around on the street and just smile and make eye contact with anyone, and keep it until they break it off themselves, either it's old guys, old weird ladies, or smoking hot chicks, I can do it consciously and confidently all the time.

    so ... what's the next baby step? I feel like there's a gap between this and the saying hi and shaking hands with strangers exercise ...

    also, for that exercise, how can you root your "opener"? I mean, if they look at you weird and all, what can you say, why did you just did that? maybe it's because cultural and social norms here, but that is perceived as really weird here, and I definitely think that addeed a lot of pressure on my head, when I was trying to do this;
    So, it should go like this:
    Hi! (extend my hand confidently) My name is Andy!
    (awkward look from the other person)
    Ummm.... hi ...

    (what next???)

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    The first step is to do something to conquer that aa. even if it's the smallest thing like holding eye contact.


    An easy exercise is go to a mall. Go into a store with good looking women working. They are likely inclined to say Hi or whatever to do.... Just say Hi back. ASk them a question about something. Anything.

    Why it can help is this... 1) you expect nothing from it other than a courteous conversation... 2) they WILL say something back.

    Your mind needs to know that they, as employees of the store, will not think you are a random creep saying Hi. You will learn how to say it with a smile and be more comfortable with just sparking a quick conversation.

    You are looking at the whole approaching thing in too much detail. You can't really force your hand in this. Just let it happen. It's easier said than done, but just try to strike up a conversation with an employee at a store.

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    Approaching gets easier the more you do it...

    You really need to push yourself to do it. If you have a good friend get them to help and make them push you to do it. I conquered it by my friend just literally pushing me into groups of girls...

    It will feel awful but eventually you'll grow to thrive on it, it's actually my favourite part of being single... well apart from the obvious

  6. #6
    CrazyGreggs is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    You gotta think of it more as a game dude. Make it fun, and light hearted. Like talking to someone on xbox live

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    Quote Originally Posted by rocketguy View Post
    Here's my story: I think I have a very resistant mental barrier; I replied to the "Destroy aa" thread with what happened to me yesterday, you can read the long version here:


    The short version is: I tried to do an exercise to lower my AA, by going up to people on the street, saying hi and shaking hands ... I couldn't: I froze every time I tried to approach someone, even old people!

    what can I start with, like, the first baby step in order to (partially) overcome AA?
    I mean, what to do, even before the most basic of exercises I could find online?

    Thanks in advance!

    With AA I found that the easiest way to deal with it is to approach the people you want to approach and not just approach to overcome AA. When I have approached people I wanted to I found myself wanting to talk to them. When I approached people I had reservations about I found the situation to be awkward for me.

    As Mystery Method teaches your hardwiring tells you not to approach because something bad will happen. Bad things will happen so just prepare your mind for that. We always want to have things easy but Approaching HB's and hitting it off is something that takes a lot of time, practice, and skill. So don't worry just do it. Just do a couple of good openers and you are good to go.

    EXAMPLE:
    Hey I saw you here and thought you looked interesting so I thought I would come find out more
    Hey I thought you were cute so I wanted to see if your personality matched your looks
    Hey you look pretty sweet you're not stuck up are you? (neg opener)

  8. #8
    rocketguy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    nice, thanks dudes!

    I actually did it this weekend, I wrote all about it in another thread of mine ... the short version of the solution was: going out with 2 naturals;

    we were really hitting it off, in a great mood, we were going around the street next to this huge lake, sun was up and there were a LOT of girls around, just waiting to be approached; as I was feeling incredibly good, I just approached a few of them that were sitting alone, and the most relevant example was:

    Me: (sitting down next to her, tapping her on the shoulder)
    Her: (turns around, puts down book, takes off headphones) yeah?
    Me: hey, I just saw you sitting here, and I was thinking I could come talk to you, since you seemed like an interesting person
    Her: (smiling) Thank you
    Me: I'm Andy, btw; are you from around here?
    Her: I'm Natalia, and yes, it's been 6 months I've got into university here; and you?
    Me: nah, I'm on vacation with my buds over there, we're just having fun
    Her: Awesome, you seem cool; where are you from?
    Me: town X
    Her: Oh that's not far from here, what are you doing there?

    (started asking me lots of questions, about studies, where I come from, what I was doing there etc ... seemed really interested )

    Me: so I gotta get going, my buds are getting impatient, and we planned a lot of stuff for today;
    listen, there's a party at our house today this evening, and you seem like an almost cool enough person to have the right to come, so give me your number, and I'll guide you like a little granny that can't use her GPS
    Her: (giggles) hehe, right, well maybe; here's my number 06...

    that was the second set I had opened that day; overall, I opened single and double sets and got 6 numbers out of 8 tries; I opened with a wing, too;

    I can only say that this was the most amazing experience I've had so far in the last 6 months ...


    I can't believe how easy it is, how not-dangerous, and how pleasant it feels afterwards! I simply can't believe how much of a smoke screen the barrier in my head was!

    Thanks for everything, dudes, you're all an awesome bunch of people! Keep up the great work!

  9. #9
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    Confidence and body language are key the rest should flow naturally if those two things are in check

  10. #10
    lolbroek is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Very serious AA issue

    I found it hard to hold eye contact when you have aa...even now, when my AA has lowered by alot i still find it uncom to hold eye contact....especiall y with people who you don't want eye contact with (old people, not so hot chicks, weird dudes, ....


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