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  • 4 Post By T-Mal
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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

  1. #1
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    Sometimes it takes hitting "rock bottom" & almost a feeling of desperation to motivate someone.

    It's like they need to realize, "OK, it can't get any worse & I have nothing to lose... if I keep doing (or not doing) the same things, I'm gonna keep getting the same results."

    You need to be able to tell yourself, "Stop being a p*ssy!"
    That's what helped me anyway.

    I could have 100 guys tell me the same thing, but it wouldn't make a difference... I had to hear it from myself before I actually listened & applied the advice.

    Approaching is a huge obstacle for a lot of guys, but it's actually the easiest part of the process, when it comes to meeting women.

    All you have to do is walk up & be sociable. That's it.

    Don't think of it as "pick up"; think of it as being friendly & having fun.
    You're not gonna be "rejected" by just smiling & saying "hello" to someone.

    Practice making eye contact & smiling as you walk past people. (You don't even have to say anything. They'll probably say "hello" first, then you can respond.)

    Do that all the time. Eventually you'll start saying "Hey, how are ya?" "Hello there" "Good morning/afternoon/evening" etc...

    Practice making general comments about the weather, or the pollen in the air... or whatever OBVIOUS situation is currently relevant.

    Basically, just talk to people you're not interested in gaming. You'll learn to be more relaxed & confident in general, which will carry over to your inner game.

    This will make it SOOOOO much easier to approach the hot girl you stumble upon when the time comes.

    But, you MUST get out of your head & realize that fear itself is holding you back... nothing else.

    Girls are just people.
    But most guys would rather fight a Grizzly Bear, than smile at a girl....

    *crazy!!!!




    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    Very true, what really helped me was I got a customer service job where I have to say hello to Every. Single. Person. I can talk to anyone now, though I may not want to sometimes..
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    I worked at a cell phone store for a couple years... so I know exactly what you mean!!

    Once you realize that it's really not a big deal to communicate & interact with people, you kick yourself for making it difficult all those times in the past.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    I'll take my chances with the grizzly, I made the last one my bitch!

    But you sir, are most correct.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    For me, people are at work are stunned that I have trouble meeting women as I'm much more outgoing at work. I don't know if it's because I don't look to mix business and pleasure, but there is a bit of a comfort talking to people at work than it is outside of work for me.

    I do like the way this thread was phrased with the word "motivation." There does need to be some sort of motivation to get to where you want to be.

  6. #6
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    Yeah, before my LTR I didn't have a problem saying hi to any girl. After that, as in, since 3 weeks ago, it's well, not that easy. It's psychological, but well, I'm trying to overcome that by saying hi at facebook. Getting better at that, now it's time to pass on to real life.

  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    It DOES require getting out of your comfort zone at first.
    But then, that area becomes your NEW comfort zone.



    And there's nothing like the sweet taste of successfully reaching a personal goal / accomplishment!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    Haha I like that. My motivations are pretty simple, these days when I see a fuckin' hot ass chick wearing hot pants, that's all the motivation I need

  9. #9
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    Default Re: T-Mal's insight: Getting motivation to approach

    One other thing that I would suggest is to take an inventory of the things you feel are holding you back to approaching women. Then prioritize which are the biggest obstacles and work on those things to conquer.


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