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Thread: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

  1. #11
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    no inner game is not how well the rest of your life in general is going it's more basic than that.

    Inner game is - as you say - about internal self confidence and belief. You believe for some reason that you either aren't good at talking to women or she's not going to be interested in what I'm saying etc etc. If you think like that then that's what will happen because sub-consciously that's the message you're projecting.

    Obviously it's not a case of believe you'll be great at approaching women and you will be - this speech isn't sponsored by morpheus - but the point is this.

    You can learn every technique and witty line in the book but if your inner game sucks - i.e. you don't believe in yourself when talking to women - then none of it will work because I'd say 90% of pick-up is about projecting your inner self confidence.

    I actually find that since I've bolstered my inner game and self confidence the techniques and all the rest of it have just come naturally. It's about embracing a different frame of mind.

  2. #12
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Dude, in everything I do I try to amuse myself. Today I was hitting the weights at the gym, listening to "Livin' la vida loca" (Ricky Martin) and started dancing, mainly because I felt like dancing.
    Yesterday at college I saw a girl who I didn't see for 4 years... and felt attraction for her. I went on to talk with her with something along "hey, I know you somewhere... probably from 2009! I'm agent 090401247 (my college ID)", she answered with her college ID and a smile.

    You feeling me bro? It's not a question of not thinking about farking a woman, that's pretty obvious. When you feel attraction for someone, you'll want to fark her. However, there are those who approach girls with the Mindset of "let's fark her... let's use her to validate myself as a man"... and there are those who think "oh, let's talk to that one, if she'll make me life, I'm going to try to find out what her special trait is... and if that happens, I'll make her feel special".

    Yeah, if you're a master at picking up, no matter what your mindset is, the outcome will be the same... however, what you'll give is different. I love women, there's something special about every single one of them, they need to feel special, and that's why we should approach them with no agenda... because that's the only way of not using them with the only objective of satisfying our sexual desires.

    But hey, that's my thought bro, you should do whatever you think works best.


    Btw, "The secrets of the alpha male" from Carlos Xuma is a fucking great book to improve your inner game. Check it out.

  3. #13
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    no inner game is not how well the rest of your life in general is going it's more basic than that.

    Inner game is - as you say - about internal self confidence and belief. You believe for some reason that you either aren't good at talking to women or she's not going to be interested in what I'm saying etc etc. If you think like that then that's what will happen because sub-consciously that's the message you're projecting.

    Obviously it's not a case of believe you'll be great at approaching women and you will be - this speech isn't sponsored by morpheus - but the point is this.

    You can learn every technique and witty line in the book but if your inner game sucks - i.e. you don't believe in yourself when talking to women - then none of it will work because I'd say 90% of pick-up is about projecting your inner self confidence.

    I actually find that since I've bolstered my inner game and self confidence the techniques and all the rest of it have just come naturally. It's about embracing a different frame of mind.
    This is golden. Deep down I know this is it. For instance: at work, I know I'm good at what I do, so I project that confidence to whomever. When it comes to women, I'm not so sure these days, so I project a wishy washy nervous vibe. They pick up on that quick.

    Question of the day... How do I improve this!

    And sidewinder, thanks for the book recommendation.

  4. #14
    Odlaw is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rando9009 View Post
    Alright guys, Iíve been meaning to post this for the past couple weeks, but hadnít really had a big tipping point until this last weekend. After walking into a club again, good Mindset, ready to hit it, and within 10 minutesÖ found myself feeling like a loser standing around by myself again, as my one friend I came with almost immediately started talking with a girl, and within 5 minutes was literally dry humping her up against the bar in front of everyone. Now I had to say based on the faces of people in the club, it was inappropriate, and any girl that has any self respect is not going to wrap her legs around a guy in front of 100 others (drunk sl*t). But who am I kidding, if I was the one doing it instead of standing there with my finger up my a$$ I would be singing a different tune! Anyways I got pissed and dipped (budy didnít even realize it until like an hour later), but itís all good..


    Now Iím going to try paint you guys a picture of my frustration these last couple months or so. Take this as just that, and not me being pretentious or bragging etc. Iím thinking of many of you as more highly than myself. I just want to know if anyone else on here feels this same way:


    Iím a pretty good looking guy. I am told so fairly often. I have a great sense of style, awesome clothes, and feel I easily set myself apart from the rest. Again, not just making this up, I often get compliments from girls. I have a nice place downtown, where everyone wants to be, brand new car, work in investment banking at a broker/dealer, and will easily be in the six figures within the next couple of years. Iím 25 and have a trust account with more money in it than most of your parentís retirement. I am a leader of the pack with my friends; everyone calls me to see what I want to do and I have a pretty good influence on those around me. I hit the gym often, am an avid cyclist, travel, am well versed in culture, have an awesome family, etc. You get the point.



    Ö Yet most of the time lately my d-bag buddies (sorry guys, love ya!) that are in school for the 8th year and live at home with their parents, have been cleaning up with the ladies when were out!! Now not all of them. This guy that I described earlier has been single for a while, were generally each others wingman. But in general I have been the observer, while they get all the attention. I even just about blew my stack a couple weeks ago when a friend of mine brought a girl back to my house a-bar and was trying to bang as I came up empty handed. Ehhh uh. Not gonna happen


    I do not think I act cocky or stuck up at all, but I am confident in myself, feel like Iím in a really good place in life, and have my sh1t put together. I just wish that girls could catch onto this.. Now donít get me wrong. I dated a girl through most of college that everyone was jealous of; Iíve had between 10-15 actual girlfriends that would turn some heads, so Iím by no means a total rookie here. I actually got out of a relationship about 3 months ago, but lately I feel I have fallen into a COMPLETE slump these last few months, and a headspace where I feel I am actually getting WORSE with meeting/interaction with girls. Because of this, I am hesitating on approaching and am even kind of freezing up or acting awkward when conversing.. So no matter how cool of a guy you are (or think you are), I guess Iím not building that initial attraction for them to even get to know me!


    This is the one area of my life that I really need to figure out, because I'm sick of standing around waiting for it to come to me.. Anyone else feel this way, can offer any tips etc?
    I know where you are coming from man. I am in the same boat(accept without all the fancy sh1t. Lol. I am a college student living with his dad). I sometimes just want to quit trying altogether because I get tired of chicks showing attraction and then flaking. I realize it is not their fault though. I did something wrong in set or while i was gaming her. Just stay positive. Kino is right on the money(Dude is a genius as far as I am concerned. Lol.)Chicks can feel your negative energy that you are putting off. I am trying to find guys that are better than me with chicks so i can learn from them. You should do this too. Just stick with it and focus on the end game not the blow outs and sh1t happening right now. Keep in mind that this is the pain period. After this is being able to pull almost any chick you want. Pulling the chicks you deserve. Thats the goal and keeping that in mind may help you a lot. And the thing about being in a relationship should not matter as far as learning game is concerned. I started learning this about 4 years ago and then met a girl i ended up marrying. I turned into a b1tch and things went bad. If i would have kept learning this then i may have been able to save my marriage(Not that i want her back because I am over her). The point is is that this not only teaches how to pick up but how to KEEP. I walked away from the community with my last gf as well and was really unhappy until we broke up. Next time I am still going to try and learn. Even approaching and all. If you have moral issues with doing that then don't try and kiss close or anything like that(I probably won't). Just try to attract for practice and for fun.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.

  5. #15
    Odlaw is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    I believe that so much frustration comes from having an agenda when talking to a woman.

    Loads of guys, including some self-entitled PUA, approach women just to get under her pants... not for the single purpose of having fun.
    This Mindset, without their knowlegde, is what subconsciously makes women more valuable than those PUAs, because they go out only to fark a woman.
    I mean, is this really what the mindset of a PUA should be?
    A PUA must approach a woman with the single purpose of having fun with the conversation... and if he enjoys it, she'll enjoy it as well, and more than any other emotion, fun is what will make people like you, especially women. And once that happens, she'll want to spend time with you... alone.
    It's the mindset of "let's have some fun, is any of these girls able to make me laugh?" that should lead to the mindset of "ok, this girl is amusing me, and she seems pretty amused. Let's see what goes on...".

    Once you internalize this, you'll stop ranting around.
    I also want to say that I agree with this. I am still trying to get into this mindset myself. Any tips on how to speed up the process? Lol. I try to go out to just have fun but when i see an attractive girl I think "Man i wanna..." Well you know the rest. Haha. I don't like having this mindset for a few reasons. Its pretty degrading, it gives you tunnel vision so to speak and you screw it up because of that, and it is not a very healthy mindset to have. Any tips on this would be great guys.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.

  6. #16
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Well, that Mindset will only come when you're sarging with different girls... it's normal that in the early stages, the mindset is "oh man I wanna"... that's a little bit of desperation and neediness, since you're coming from a situation where you had no woman... or very few at least. After some time of success, the mindset I referred will come naturally, because the inherent feeling of neediness and desperation, even if it was minor, will completely be obliterated.

    Best of luck mate!

  7. #17
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Well, that mindset will only come when you're sarging with different girls... it's normal that in the early stages, the mindset is "oh man I wanna"... that's a little bit of desperation and neediness, since you're coming from a situation where you had no woman... or very few at least. After some time of success, the mindset I referred will come naturally, because the inherent feeling of neediness and desperation, even if it was minor, will completely be obliterated.

    Best of luck mate!
    Again good tips. One thing to remember guys is although I'm in a tough spot at the moment, I'm not a total rookie either (as most of you are not as well). I hear a lot of people talking in the tone as though I have absolutely no idea what it takes to sleep with a girl. I've slept with plenty of girls (maybe around 15-20?), and once I get past the initial interaction with the girl, I am usually pretty good at escalating and going from there. I'd say that I am particularly good at getting the girl into a relationship quick if I want to. Which at this stage is ultimatly what I am looking for.

    This is more about:

    1. Getting worse. After being at a point where you used to have the girls chasing you (with seemingly no effort), to now my situation where I've become frustrated and have to lose the toxic attitude which is driving them off (aka Kino's comment), and re-think what I'm doing wrong.

    2. Why are girls so dumb that they don't even know what is good for them! (somewhat kidding).

    3. Getting over aa and actually start opening girls! I bet this is the problem for 98% of guys. Sure, you can't be completley dumb on what to do with the interaction, but I'm sure if most of us just would DO IT (approaching) we would be 5x more successful. From my experience, the guys that are getting tons of female attention are the ones that display no nervousness, but most of all just APPROACH. Even without any fancy techniques, I think this sets you apart from most guys (like myself) who hesitate or just don't bother out of irrational fear.

    I will admit that my Approach Anxiety has gotten out of hand. I would rather speak in front of a group of 50 executives at work, then be thrown in a situation where I would be forced to approach girls. Now I definatly will have plenty of interactions with girls this upcoming weekend, so its not the "girl" itself that makes me nervous. Its the APPROACHING (aka obviously going out of my way to say something) a random girl that makes me freeze up. For instance when a buddy gives you a push and says "hey man go talk to her" I'll be like fark dude knock it off! I will when I want to (then won't).

    But your right, alot of that comes from the inner game and simply practice!


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