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Thread: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

  1. #1
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Alright guys, I’ve been meaning to post this for the past couple weeks, but hadn’t really had a big tipping point until this last weekend. After walking into a club again, good Mindset, ready to hit it, and within 10 minutes… found myself feeling like a loser standing around by myself again, as my one friend I came with almost immediately started talking with a girl, and within 5 minutes was literally dry humping her up against the bar in front of everyone. Now I had to say based on the faces of people in the club, it was inappropriate, and any girl that has any self respect is not going to wrap her legs around a guy in front of 100 others (drunk sl*t). But who am I kidding, if I was the one doing it instead of standing there with my finger up my a$$ I would be singing a different tune! Anyways I got pissed and dipped (budy didn’t even realize it until like an hour later), but it’s all good..


    Now I’m going to try paint you guys a picture of my frustration these last couple months or so. Take this as just that, and not me being pretentious or bragging etc. I’m thinking of many of you as more highly than myself. I just want to know if anyone else on here feels this same way:


    I’m a pretty good looking guy. I am told so fairly often. I have a great sense of style, awesome clothes, and feel I easily set myself apart from the rest. Again, not just making this up, I often get compliments from girls. I have a nice place downtown, where everyone wants to be, brand new car, work in investment banking at a broker/dealer, and will easily be in the six figures within the next couple of years. I’m 25 and have a trust account with more money in it than most of your parent’s retirement. I am a leader of the pack with my friends; everyone calls me to see what I want to do and I have a pretty good influence on those around me. I hit the gym often, am an avid cyclist, travel, am well versed in culture, have an awesome family, etc. You get the point.



    … Yet most of the time lately my d-bag buddies (sorry guys, love ya!) that are in school for the 8th year and live at home with their parents, have been cleaning up with the ladies when were out!! Now not all of them. This guy that I described earlier has been single for a while, were generally each others wingman. But in general I have been the observer, while they get all the attention. I even just about blew my stack a couple weeks ago when a friend of mine brought a girl back to my house a-bar and was trying to bang as I came up empty handed. Ehhh uh. Not gonna happen


    I do not think I act cocky or stuck up at all, but I am confident in myself, feel like I’m in a really good place in life, and have my sh1t put together. I just wish that girls could catch onto this.. Now don’t get me wrong. I dated a girl through most of college that everyone was jealous of; I’ve had between 10-15 actual girlfriends that would turn some heads, so I’m by no means a total rookie here. I actually got out of a relationship about 3 months ago, but lately I feel I have fallen into a COMPLETE slump these last few months, and a headspace where I feel I am actually getting WORSE with meeting/interaction with girls. Because of this, I am hesitating on approaching and am even kind of freezing up or acting awkward when conversing.. So no matter how cool of a guy you are (or think you are), I guess I’m not building that initial attraction for them to even get to know me!


    This is the one area of my life that I really need to figure out, because I'm sick of standing around waiting for it to come to me.. Anyone else feel this way, can offer any tips etc?

  2. #2
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Rando's Frustrated Rant = average frustrated chump. Your frustration is making you a hater and nobody likes a hater. You hated the girl and your friend, you were pissed because your buddy pulled. Your attitude is toxic that is the first thing that needs to go.

    Lets steer this into a positive direction:
    1: Stop being a hater.
    2: Read, Study. Practice
    3: It's about HER, not YOU. Your attraction has no value. Her attraction is what you are looking for. Her attraction is about what she feels, she doesn't feel your car, retirement account, degree. Those things may help in the long run but initially it's about what she feels.

    If you are serious about improving your game and getting better with women, than you should be inspired by your friends success and emulate it. I struggled mightily learning pick up but I was way to stubborn to give up.

    Open, Transition, Attract, Seduce over and over and over until it clicks.

  3. #3
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Thanks for the advice. Ill agree that I went AFC the other night, no doubt about that. I'm not always like that, and it wasn't me pissed directly at my friend, but more so on the fact that I just can't get why I don't command more instant attraction from girls like they seem to. And they honestly don't do anything fancy or study pick up etc. naturals you may say. I mention the details about myself above because I feel like alot of the guys that struggle with women have self esteem and life issues. Not so with me I am very secure and confident about where I'm at. The only thing left to master is getting over this approaching women thing!

    I actually studied pick up awhile back, but really never got to the point of using it a ton because I wound up with a girlfriend. Now that I broke up with ER, I'm back at it, or at least trying! Your right though I gotta change sh1t up! Admittedly my main problem is just getting nervous and never actually approaching. If I could sole that I guarantee my results would go up instantly (just approaching) but I hardly ever do because I freeze with aa.

  4. #4
    FlowTime is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    i know i am repeating myself but i felt like you could use it too

    i forgot to mention in my original post that it should be read out loud/whispered to yourself for better result
    Quote Originally Posted by FlowTime View Post
    Something i took from another forum that i found really helpful in my case

    I have wrote that down and read it 5 times a day for the last week
    "I will fail at opening most girls and there is nothing i can do about it"

    What ever your fear is , write it down , finish your sentence with " and there is nothing i can do about it " and read it 5 times a day until it has served its purpose.


    the power of words , it's amazing

  5. #5
    flyer1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Like yourself I am an accomplished man but if you saw me in person you would slot me into the category with your d-bag buddies and like them I have success with the ladies. Nonetheless those material things you mentioned earlier are good if you are in a relationship, planning a wedding and a family but for puaís itís all about attraction and your Mindset. Although you say you are not cocky I think you are giving off negative vibes that say the opposite (look at me I am successful, good looking etc...). Like Kino said emulate your buddies because they are doing something right and drop the negative attitude. Also forget your cars, money, apartment and job and just be yourself when you hit the clubs or whatever, and most importantly use the pua techniques from the site. Good luck man!

  6. #6
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by Suave Kino View Post
    Lets steer this into a positive direction:
    1: Stop being a hater.
    2: Read, Study. Practice
    3: It's about HER, not YOU. Your attraction has no value. Her attraction is what you are looking for. Her attraction is about what she feels, she doesn't feel your car, retirement account, degree. Those things may help in the long run but initially it's about what she feels.

    If you are serious about improving your game and getting better with women, than you should be inspired by your friends success and emulate it. I struggled mightily learning pick up but I was way to stubborn to give up.

    Open, Transition, Attract, Seduce over and over and over until it clicks.
    Exactly what Kino said. I've been at this now for almost four months, and I still have not been able to even Number Close. Yes, I've had some successful intimate contact, but for me that doesn't matter right now. The biggest thing, and one of the best changes I have ever made, was not improving my success with women or giving me a new understanding of relationships.

    The biggest thing pick-up has done for me is revolutionize my mental state.

    Before I started this, I was basically a heap of rubble. The girl who I thought was the perfect one for me basically dumped me, I became convinced that I was going to live alone and that I would never go after any woman ever again. Every single day for a whole month it felt like there was a black hole in my heart that would never go away.

    Then, when I started pick-up, all I read and listened on was mental game. Whenever jealousy, frustration, sadness, or anger hit me, I converted that into raw energy to learn and become better. Now, I frankly don't give a sh1t about women. I no longer feel the need to pursue one, nor do I feel that I have to be in a relationship with anyone. I now enjoy being single and I enjoy the entertainment in the chase, because I love playing in this game called pick-up. I want to play, I want to learn, I want to become better, I want to become the BEST!

    Take your frustration of failure, and convert it into an angry drive to become better. Transform your bitterness into passion and let your toxicity become the wine that makes you drunk with desire to transcend all others.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  7. #7
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    One comment on the "being pissed at my friend" deal that I described above. I really was not pissed at him so to speak, I'm hanging out with him tonight as a matter of fact, I guess I was just more or less pissed on 2 things:

    1. Why would that "dumb" girl choose that guy over me (this is a big one, and just goes to show you how attraction is emotional and not logical. Where as for me, male, yes.. it is emotional based mostly initally on looks, but as soon as I find out that an attractive girl is also successful, my attraction to her goes way up compared to the same looking girl that is not) -and-
    2. Now that he's locked onto a girl, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Standing by myself instantly makes me feel awkward at a bar.

    With it being only the two of us there, I feel like the minute I'm left to stand there by myself my social proof is in jepordy of instantly going way down. I know many of you will say "get in talking to a girl yourself! Which is a smooth answer, but putting it into practice when your now wandering around the club yourself (or standing next to your buddy making out with a girl by the bar) is a little different. Not trying to make excuses, just saying.

    Now that same night at the club last weekend, which I left out because it was not important to my original post, I actually upon ordering my first drink had the bride-to-be of a bachlorette party start hanging all over me and kiss me, until her friends grabbed her and they left. Not like I was going to do anything with that anyways... but just saying... even on a sh1tty day I do get some female attention. But not the kind I'm looking for lol.

    In my experience when I've actually been able to man up and approach a girl, they are very receptive and I have hardly ever been rejected. But that's not saying much because the number of self initiated approaches I do is minimal because of aa. Most of the girls I've dated have admittedly started the interaction with me. Opps..

    Also, another person mentioned this, and it rings a bell with me. I believe at time I actually might be guilty of "rejecting" girls that I actually like just by body language or somethign without even realizing it. Or worse yet, showing no actual interest (just wind up chatting with them and they move on)

    These are my main problems, and I need to get them figured out!

  8. #8
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    I believe that so much frustration comes from having an agenda when talking to a woman.

    Loads of guys, including some self-entitled PUA, approach women just to get under her pants... not for the single purpose of having fun.
    This Mindset, without their knowlegde, is what subconsciously makes women more valuable than those PUAs, because they go out only to fuck a woman.
    I mean, is this really what the mindset of a PUA should be?
    A PUA must approach a woman with the single purpose of having fun with the conversation... and if he enjoys it, she'll enjoy it as well, and more than any other emotion, fun is what will make people like you, especially women. And once that happens, she'll want to spend time with you... alone.
    It's the mindset of "let's have some fun, is any of these girls able to make me laugh?" that should lead to the mindset of "ok, this girl is amusing me, and she seems pretty amused. Let's see what goes on...".

    Once you internalize this, you'll stop ranting around.

  9. #9
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Suave Kino is bang on the money: you have a bad attitude.

    If you're throwing out those kind of vibes women will pick-up on it and steer clear. There's also a bit of an arrogant/desperate undertone that you need to cross out.

    It's your inner game that is destroying your chances here! Fix that and you should have no problem.


    Btw this isnt meant to sound harsh, I'm just trying to tell you what I think you should correct.

  10. #10
    Rando9009 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rando's Frustrated Rant!

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    Suave Kino is bang on the money: you have a bad attitude.

    If you're throwing out those kind of vibes women will pick-up on it and steer clear. There's also a bit of an arrogant/desperate undertone that you need to cross out.

    It's your inner game that is destroying your chances here! Fix that and you should have no problem.


    Btw this isnt meant to sound harsh, I'm just trying to tell you what I think you should correct.
    I can appreciate the feedback, and I'm sure your probably right. I would not go as far as to say that in person I have a noticably bad attitude (usually just neautral or having fun), but there has to be some "vibe" that I'm emmiting that girls are picking up on.. And desperate, yea, maybe I've done that a bit too. Not so much with new girls, but I've even had some girl-friends that have distanced themselves from me because I may have been guilty of giving them the "I want to fark you" vibe. Idk.

    One other thing. Everyone seems to be against having a confident-cocky vibe as it turns girls sour to you. What about some of these other guys I see like that cleaning up with girls. For instance: Yesterday I saw a guy walking down the street dressed to kill, like someone out of a GQ mag, with the most stuck up look about him, walking with 3 hot girls (holding ones hand so not gay I don't think). It would seem to me based on what we are talking about that he would be emiting a cocky off putting vibe. Not the case obviously. And some guys, like one of my friends, don't even SAY much. So no PUA tricks, any of that, yet all the girls just think he's the coolest guy. WHY? I ask him and he dosn't know. That's really the guy I want to be. Not the guy having to do a bunch of tricks and methods to get interest in girls.

    Now inner game. It is my understanding that inner game comes from internal confidence in oneself, which comes from confidence in your life etc. I feel I have this all covered, except for the confidence in approaching women. When I hear "work on your inner game" I think "you need to get your life figured out". Not the case here, and is the whole reason why I posted this and its so frustrating.

    And lenrick: True that. However... I think that no matter how much we try to act like that, in all reality we are still thinking about f*cking them! Yea we shouldn't have an exact purpose, but if we have no purpose, little to nothing will happen. What will happen is what I do now, talk to some girls, show no direct interest, and the interaction dies.


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