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  1. #1
    Shaolin Fist Guest

    Default How do you disarm the funnier guy in the group stealing the show?

    Its happened before: I've been in a group and had little opportunity to control the floor and steal the show by being funny because there's another guy in the group who is hilarious and stealing my thunder and I can't compete with him. Whats the best way to Disarm him? After reading some of Strauss' books I have sort of come to the conclusion the best strategy is to collude with the funny guy in negging the target and or ignoring her. Is this right or is there a better strategy?

    Shaolin Fist

  2. #2
    Ambition Guest


    Does anyone have advice on this? I'm curious too.

  3. #3
    ctlair Guest


    Have a good wing that can interupt him and keep him occupied, then you can steal the focus of the group.

    /my 2 cents

  4. #4
    Christian Guest


    Hey guys, timely topic. We have a program with Hidden Mic Pickups on it that you get when you buy our Unbreakable program, and I just analyzed a pickup where I had to deal with a male model who tried to blow my set. A couple thoughts on this...

    I would NOT "neg the target". Look at it this way - someone is in always control of the conversation. He (or she) who is in control can lead it. If a guy comes in and takes control and starts "negging the target" then you do the same, you're giving him more control because you're essentially validating his behavior. The girl will either be pissed off with both of you, or gain attraction to him because you're passing him any value that she has ascribed to you thus far.

    A pickup is about YOU and a GIRL having a great time together and getting into each other. Fuck the other guy. If he comes in: take control, deal with him for a minute or two, then get back to you and the girl. How do you do that???

    1.) You have to be quick, and that comes with practice.

    2.) You have to take leadership of the conversation. This could happen by asking a lot of questions (aggressively seeking rapport ie being "alpha nice") or by being short with your own answers (breaking rapport). Examples to follow.

    3.) Its not necessarily about being funny, but rather, about being in control.

    So here are a few examples:

    Dude comes into the convo, and he already knows the girls. You need to proactively introduce yourself, or at least a "yo, what's up man" to acknowledge his presence. A leader wants everyone involved and isn't worried about a competitive threat.

    Let's say dude starts seeking rapport ie asking questions. This happened to me one night out in orlando... A guy popped into a convo with me and a girl and said "so what do you do"? Rather than answer the question directly, misinterpret it. Women do this all the time to control the frame. My answer to that guy was "oh, we're just hanging out, enjoying the night air, how about you?".

    If someone is qualifying themselves proactively, you can be dismissive. The guy in orlando immediately said "yeah cool, no, I'm in town from miami, I'm a private wealth manager down there, I just you know, take peoples' cash and like to party." My reply, "oh, that's cool." He's already lost some social value because I didn't really buy into his qualification, and the girl is just watching the boys duke it out . Now he has to ask another question (seek rapport) or qualify himself. I mean, there are a few other things he could do (humor, story, ignore me and talk direct to the girl), but most guys won't have the sense to.

    I also like to compliment guys and see if I can get them talking about things. In the hidden mic convo, I tell the male model he has nice hair. The right way to answer this "thanks... I didn't expect to be complimented by a dude tonight, but thanks man. While we've got this bromantic moment, I like your hair too.". See how that takes contol again? But most guys won't do that - they probably won't know what to say because this sort of stuff can really fry a guy's circuits.

    Storytelling is also important. If you're in the middle of a good story, pull the guy into it. One thing you'd hear on my audio is that there is one point where both he and I are trying to talk over each other. Three times I say "well what happened was" as he is talking too, and on the third time, I finally grab the conversation. Talking over is important.

    And as I mentioned, get the guy talking. its all about controlling that conversation.

    Final thing - if the girl is already into you, it is a lot more difficult for the guy. But if you lose the girl easily, she probably wasn't that into you. Sometimes on our bootcamps we'll 'steal' a girl who a guy is talking to, but only when we sense that she's not that into him.

    Working on your girl game will help you in these situations! Best of luck.

    Last edited by Christian; 09-04-2009 at 03:55 PM.

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