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Thread: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

  1. #1
    boondockarchangel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    Need the community’s help on how to tackle this one. I can either go the “Push Pull” method or the “cocky funny/ aloof” route.


    The brief backstory is that this HB8 had a bf while we would heavily flirt but never hooked up. They recently broke-up. Then she rebounded into an insta-relationship with a douchebag for a month (the guy even broke up with his gf of 8 months to be wit this HB8). She then dumped him for being emotionally immature , inconsistent, and flaking on dates to be with his ex and “deal with her” (its my belief he never truly broke up with his 8 month gf).


    So now she and I have reconnected and are talking and playfully flirting. I am a bit afraid I am in the friendzone since we never hooked up and I wasn’t her go-to-guy after she broke up with her now ex. I made the stupid mistake of admitting that I have an interest beyond friends after she told me about dumping the rebound guy and she responded with “ Really? But I cant. I feel like an emotional cripple right now”. ( I don’t think its an excuse cuz her friends tell me how shes been depressed, moody, and has been crying a lot).

    So I am either in the friendzone , or I am her Plan B once she gets herself together a bit more



    We reconnected again after a month Freeze Out and had a good talk about personal things in our lives, we laughed a lot, and got flirty at the end. Now my question is if I should do a bit of a “push pull” here and say something like

    “Hey HB8, you know, I have been thinking and as much as I have loved our conversations in the past, I don’t think I can just be friends with you. It was easy to do that when you were attached, but now I don’t think I can pretend to be just your friend. I tried that route but I was just lying to myself. I am going to need some space and I don’t know what will come of it. Perhaps we will reconnect in the future, but for now, I have to pursue my own happiness.”


    Or “ Hey HB. You know, as much as I have liked our little talks and dinner outings I really want to do something fun and exciting and I want to create some memories with you. I don’t know what will happen in the future...maybe we will be friend or maybe we will drift apart, so I want to make sure I can at least look back on this period of my life and be happy/excited when I think about you and the time we spent together.”

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    Yeah well, I think you should say that if you want another Freeze Out mate, or befriend her.

    Use push/pull and cf at different times. That way, your conversation will be much more fluid.

    "You seem a little silly (push), but you seem to be also a funny (pull). We should meet and do something fun." - Just an example. (Push-Pull)

    "Hey... I'm here for like 10 minutes waiting for you to text me... (cocky) you seem to be like the texting turtle! (funny) we should meet and do something fun" - another example (c/f)

    You feeling me bro?

  3. #3
    boondockarchangel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    I feel ya. Just looking to pull the trigger because I have a long flirty rapport with her and want to strike while the iron is hot . So sounds like you are siding on the longer game instead of being too bold.

    How about i wait till she texts me and i say this: " hey you keep telling me your life is boring. Let's go do something exxiting and create some memories
    Last edited by boondockarchangel; 04-18-2013 at 06:13 PM. Reason: Addendum

  4. #4
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    Dude, you telling her you like her means you're demanding her approval and being kinda needy. Remember that you can lie with words, but not with your actions.

    You should convey your interest, not telling you're interested.

    Being bold means getting her with you to do something fun (not the traditional movie/dinner, but something else, like jumping from rock to rock in the sea) and kissing her, probably having sex.

    Being bold means saying something like "oh shit, are you sexually harassing me right now? 'Cause if you are, I'm going to sue you... for giving me a bonner."

    Telling her you like her... simply don't do that.

  5. #5
    hyp
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    Dude, you telling her you like her means you're demanding her approval and being kinda needy.
    for learning purposes, how is that demanding her approval

    she'll most likely take advantage of that fact if you tell her so don't do it, and generally chicks who come out of a rela aren't always looking to start another one, they usually want fwb for a few months and then go back in a rela

  6. #6
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    If he tells her he likes her, he's expecting an answer, a reaction. He's expecting she consciously approves his "likeness" for her and reciprocates it.

    Also, he's giving her the power to decide the course of the relationship... wether it's gonna be just friends or something more.

  7. #7
    hyp
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    thanks lenric (y)

    well i guess you can say (if you're genuine about it like i am) that she's pretty cool and you wanna hang, i'm more direct and from what i've seen women respond alot better to that than being indirect and beating around the bush, this is more daygame style though

    and if she's interested enough she'll be flattered or atleast happy to accept and agree to hang (with a time set)

  8. #8
    boondockarchangel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    HYP. Yeah once in a while a girl comes along that you want to do more than just get a number, hook up, or lay. Some PUA tactics are helpful because they help in reframing, guiding seduction, etc.... Its far easier to game a girl who you have no interest beyond "practicing techniques" and getting laid , but then I dont want anything to do with them afterward.

    So I totally agree with lenric about definitely not telling a girl you like her, but I dont want to play the game too long with this girl because I have known her for a while and "playing games" for too long gets dull if it doesnt go beyond that ( and that timming is different in this situation).

    I will quote someone else on this forum who said it perfectly " A girl needs space as she falls in love (dont get clingy or needy) and you need space when she does ( make her feel like shes being needy/clingy)

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Which method to use on a recently single HB8

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    thanks lenric (y)

    well i guess you can say (if you're genuine about it like i am) that she's pretty cool and you wanna hang, i'm more direct and from what i've seen women respond alot better to that than being indirect and beating around the bush, this is more daygame style though

    and if she's interested enough she'll be flattered or atleast happy to accept and agree to hang (with a time set)
    Definitely hyp, I agree with you.
    However, there's a difference between telling her you like her or that you think you 2 can't be just friends for now (which was what boondockarchangel thought about saying) and telling her that's she's cool and funny or whatever.

    In your case, your qualifying statement isn't really about trying to get her approval, but rather give her your own validation.


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