Need the community’s help on how to tackle this one. I can either go the “Push Pull” method or the “cocky funny/ aloof” route.
The brief backstory is that this HB8 had a bf while we would heavily flirt but never hooked up. They recently broke-up. Then she rebounded into an insta-relationship with a douchebag for a month (the guy even broke up with his gf of 8 months to be wit this HB8). She then dumped him for being emotionally immature , inconsistent, and flaking on dates to be with his ex and “deal with her” (its my belief he never truly broke up with his 8 month gf).
So now she and I have reconnected and are talking and playfully flirting. I am a bit afraid I am in the friendzone since we never hooked up and I wasn’t her go-to-guy after she broke up with her now ex. I made the stupid mistake of admitting that I have an interest beyond friends after she told me about dumping the rebound guy and she responded with “ Really? But I cant. I feel like an emotional cripple right now”. ( I don’t think its an excuse cuz her friends tell me how shes been depressed, moody, and has been crying a lot).
So I am either in the friendzone , or I am her Plan B once she gets herself together a bit more
We reconnected again after a month Freeze Out and had a good talk about personal things in our lives, we laughed a lot, and got flirty at the end. Now my question is if I should do a bit of a “push pull” here and say something like
“Hey HB8, you know, I have been thinking and as much as I have loved our conversations in the past, I don’t think I can just be friends with you. It was easy to do that when you were attached, but now I don’t think I can pretend to be just your friend. I tried that route but I was just lying to myself. I am going to need some space and I don’t know what will come of it. Perhaps we will reconnect in the future, but for now, I have to pursue my own happiness.”
Or “ Hey HB. You know, as much as I have liked our little talks and dinner outings I really want to do something fun and exciting and I want to create some memories with you. I don’t know what will happen in the future...maybe we will be friend or maybe we will drift apart, so I want to make sure I can at least look back on this period of my life and be happy/excited when I think about you and the time we spent together.”