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  • 1 Post By BearScoob

Thread: recently single Flakie girl

  1. #1
    BearScoob is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default recently single Flakie girl

    So I am talking to this girl....while she had a BF we had a good rapport, sexual tension, HEAVY flirting, and her showing IOI's and Kino Escalation the few times we hung out.

    She is now single for about 4 months and in a head space of "needing time to sort things out and be herself again" plus she has to work graveyard shift for 2 months, 12 hours shifts, with only one day off a week. So she has plenty of "space" to do so. She doesn't miss the relationship with her ex, but she has admitted to missing the friendship (aka lonely and needy...and no they dont see each other and their conversations have ended completely)

    We still have an awesome rapport during this difficult time of hers but she cant tell I am frustrated with her lack of communication and overall flakiness.

    She called me out on it and the convo went like this :
    HB8: I can tell you are frustrated with me. How can I fix it?
    ME: Well, honestly. The few times we have hung out have always been on your terms. Even though my hang out ideas are way better. LOL. Lets go do something fun and exciting. Create some memories
    HB8: Thats going to be very difficult while I am working this night shift sh1t. Like last week, on my one day off, all I did was laundry and house chores. Everyone is asleep by 12pm and I am still on this dumb sleep schedule where I wake up at 8pm and up until 10am. I dont even go out or do anything.
    ME: Well thats perfect because some of the things I wan to do work with that. the stuff I want to do is at night, overnight, and morning stuff.
    HB8: Yeah but I am also sooooo tired. All I want to do is catch up on sleep .
    ME: Ok.Well listen I have to go to the city and meet up with some friends for a bonfire.
    HB8: Man. that sounds so fun! Drink a beer for me.

    I know her well enough that she will try to shoot the sh1t with "friendly" texts akin to "Hey how was the bonfire?", "Hey you whats new?" etc.

    I am going to freeze her out while she does that until she asks whats wrong and I will write to her

    "Well , listen. I have liked talking to you , hanging out with you, and being there for you, but I cant put in effort and personal energy into something that is so disproportional. And if you think about it, we both know that’s true. You seem to care enough to want to make an effort, and you have even said you do, but it seems like you don’t really want to. I don’t know what this is to you, but when you are ready to put your words into action with a tangible effort, get back to me."

    Any critiques on my approach (Freeze Out) and response (with that message i want to send)?

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: recently single Flakie girl

    When it comes to a newly single woman, your main focus should be that you are her ESCAPE. She's likely looking for a band-aid aka rebound.

    I won't even talk about or let her talk about her ex. If she brings him up I go silent then change the subject. I'm not trying to be her counselor. I'm trying to be her escape. A distraction.

    She does have a busy schedule. That's just logistics and shouldn't be held too much against her. You are just setting yourself up when trying to make definite plans during the week with her.

    So for that last message you plan on sending her....I suggest not to. Seems like a lot of pressure added on her and it will likely not help you get to that sexual point with her. Focus on being cool, calm, and collected. Be fun and her escape from everything. Don't talk about feelings or future stuff. Don't talk about her ex. In fact, don't do much talking. Lol. Seduce her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    BearScoob is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: recently single Flakie girl

    Good points Batman. Especially the part about being different from her ex.... I should clarify that he was an AFC .. She has daddy issues and seems to likes to be called out on stuff when she's "misbehaving". They broke up because he was too passive and avoided issues. In fact one of the main things she's working on is trying to be more communicative ... So she wants a more direct in charge guy who I s fun but can call her on her shit.

    I know she sounds like a handful. Lol. But what can I say? Aren't they all?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: recently single Flakie girl

    Quote Originally Posted by BearScoob View Post
    So she wants a more direct in charge guy who I s fun but can call her on her sh1t.
    I learned a long time ago that there is a difference between what people think they want and what they need. We didn't get to PUA by relying on what a woman told us what she expects or wants. They want a nice guy, but then chase the bad ones. They want honesty, then bite your head off. They want loyalty, then flirt with your best friend. Do what works. Not what they say they "think" they want.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    BearScoob is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: recently single Flakie girl

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I learned a long time ago that there is a difference between what people think they want and what they need. We didn't get to PUA by relying on what a woman told us what she expects or wants. They want a nice guy, but then chase the bad ones. They want honesty, then bite your head off. They want loyalty, then flirt with your best friend. Do what works. Not what they say they "think" they want.
    Ahhh but thats where I read between the lines with her. She didnt outright say she wanted a guy that puts her in her place....she basically said one day "I think in a relationship a man should keep a girl from acting silly, otherwise she will keep acting up".


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