Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut!
Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut!
Learn to be a better person not a better player.
I slightly understand your frustration to an extent. I say to an extent because you weren't trying, and you didn't take any initiative to make anything of it. However, I've been in very similar situations though.
My friend, who looks almost identical to myself, naturally gets girls when we go out. They seem to flock to him. Which makes me wonder, if I'm almost identical, where is my flock at? I'm talking gorgeous girls too. But if I try, even if he introduces me, I either lock up, or get turned down. Because they're so into him, I just don't know how to compete. Not even compete, but to play on an equal level as him.
It's rather discouraging to say the least. There has been times where a girl would dance with me and when I tried making conversation, she told me she was only doing it to get my friends number. I stopped dancing, I turned to him and said my goodbyes, and left the bar that night. Alone.
I almost feel (and I could be really wrong on this) as if guys like us really need to make the "finishing blow" if you will, early on. Much like your friend did by asking her friend for the digits. Also too, I know this is a problem of mine and could even be something you subconsciously do yourself, but once you get discouraged, it shows. You see your friend making the moves naturally, and him succeeding, and you end up looking like a deer in headlights. Just lost and unsure, then you end up trying TOO hard. You might even become stiff in your body language, much like myself, and girls do notice that.
I'm still working on it myself. Let me tell you though; don't do what I did. I took a break from chillin with my buddy. This didn't teach me anything. When he'd still be going out, I'd be looking up youtube videos of people I don't know succeeding. Mostly teaching me nothing because I'm not IN the field as it happened. Continuing my discouragement when I finally did hang out with my friend again. Stick with your buddy, let him know how you're feeling about it, and have him be your wingman a time or two. Don't be ashamed to ask for help in person.
Its weird because if we go out, he talks normal to girls and they like him. He doesn't use any pickup techniques at all as far as I'm concerned. I walk around trying to use certain techniques I learn from here and they just don't respond to me like they do him. We went out last night and he poked a girl on the shoulder and walked away. She then came to us all smiley and stuff. They talked and he got her number, I'm like WTF! Its really weird cuz Ilike to think I'm better looking cuz I did get voted most attractive in high school and one would think your looks would get a little attention. She didn't look at me once.
Well you would think looks play a huge roll in it, but like I said: Me and my friend are almost identical. The only major difference is hair style and height (him being shorter.) Your friend sounds much like my friend. What it is, is he's having a good time. Being silly. Girls seem to like silly.
My buddy will go up to a girl and wrap his arm around her and say something cheesy like "You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen" while making contact with her. It works. Then he'll do something as simple as just poking her and looking away, or smiling and saying hi when she looks. To me it seems weird because he has no idea who it is; but it works!
Like a lot of people... I use liquid encouragement. This only applies if I'm having fun prior to loosening up though. But I have noticed my success rate being much higher if I just say what's on my mind, regardless, and seem like I'm having a good time with it. Carefree. I.E - A shot girl has came up to me and ask if I'd like to buy a shot. My reply to her was asking what I'd get out of it (which... One would already know I'm getting the shot, duh!) and that's exactly what she replied with... A shot, duh!
Still being carefree at the time I told her "Well you're taking my money and walking away at that point. The least you could leave me with is a kiss to remember you by" and lone-and-behold, it worked. I even pointed to my cheek to make it seem like I'm keeping it playful. She took the opportunity to move my face on her own and give me the lip lock. It certainly made me feel a lot more confident that night, especially cause my friends seen it happen. Believe me... I tried that same move a few times and as you could imagine, it's not something you should use on all working girls. It's just those random times that it did work for me that made it worth keeping in my back pocket for a good night.
Alota these things I read on here, ill just sit there and think " how is that gona work".
There is a reason it's called pickup arts and not pickup science. There are no set of truths about this stuff that applies everywhere. Many people have success with gamin directly and many don't. I actually think it's easier to game direct. Recently I did a "I think you're really pretty and I wanted to talk to you" line to a girl in a gas station. It worked really well and the girl loved it!
While I have deep respect for everyone that gives advice and writes up routines and ruled to follow, I really feel like you have to experiment to find something that works for you.
I had a discussion with a friend of mine that ia a natural and we were reminiscing. He told me about the days when he was sleeping with different girls every weekend, but he told me at the time that he was very depressed and hated himself. Wait a minute? Bad inner game, but he's getting laid all the time? How does that work? Also if you read The Game, it didn't sound like Mystery had the best inner game either.
It just shows that there are no universal truths in pickup. It is full of contradictions, rule breaking, and irony.
I read this post and I think the problem is that some of you guys show too much interest in the girl with the word " I'll do anything for you" on your forehead. ( I need to work on that too myself. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. Do your thing, women come and go( for every 1 girl you lose there is 100 girls you could be talking/getting with)
You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!
IMO I don't think it's worth complaining about how it's not "fair" that he got the girl, like the others gave said, you should have pushed harder.
Learn from it, next time have the balls to push and ask for the number first etc.
No point just hoping you'll luck out.