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Thread: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

  1. #1
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    Hey guys, as I haven't posted anything solid in a while I decided to come out with something that has been mentioned a little bit on the forums but I haven't seen anyone explain properly. The something I am talking about known as the Statement of Intent or SOI for short.

    I came across this back in late March of this year from reading Jugglers book (one of the best books out there for natural game, no real routines or dogmatic structure of game but it can be linked into Mystery method). I believe this is a real game changer because in many ways it has changed my game. In 2012 you would have seen me using a lot of Mystery Method but at the turn of the year I made the conscious decision to get into natural game as using the same old stuff was just starting to suck in general.

    The statement of intent does exactly what it says: states your intentions to a woman but there's a little bit more to it than it seems.

    I understand that people who follow very Indirect Game will be thinking "what the hell, someone's now saying we have to show interest?" Yes I am saying you have to because here's the thing: The confident man without game may state his intentions far too early which may get him some results but a lot of rejections as well but on the flip side, someone who's read up on game may be trying to do everything under the radar but doesn't know how to escalate the interaction therefore berating him to the oh so dreaded "No sex zone". I don't use the phrase "friend zone" as I do believe it is awesome to be friends with a girl while gaming her and it is a necessary component in actually getting the girl.

    SOIs work in the manner that we have to reward the girl for investing into the interaction. That is generally all we need for an SOI to work. Think about for a second. An attractive girl gets hit on a lot in her life but for no reason and that pisses her off (or inflates her ego). If there is a reason for her being hit on than it would make much more sense for her to enjoy it because just like everything in life, the more we commit to something the more we want to hold on to that commitment and being rewarded for it is an even better bonus.

    The structure that I run my game on these days is:
    -Open
    -Encourage investment
    -Get investment
    -Acknowledge investment
    -Reward with emotional relation to my life or an SOI.

    An opener could be anything. I prefer to go in situational, failing that I would do a ruthless, confident, bold direct approach.

    The way we can encourage investment is to ask open ended questions, ones that can have a lot of answers and opinions in them. The trick to asking a good open ended question is to care about the answer, if you don't care than you're not going to bring a certain vibe unless you're good at faking it.

    An example of an open ended question is: Tell me your life story? Understand that this question can have a lot of answers and I would give more examples but this post was mean't to be about SOI, you can look up open ended questions elsewhere.

    Most of times you would get a crappy answer especially if it's early in the interaction but that's fine because you can encourage her by answering the question in an example form which is a statement (I encourage people to use more statements than questions because no one likes an interview). An example of encouragement to the life story question is: Well I'm a guy who grew up on the not so gold streets of London, I like football which is one of my biggest passions as well as music. Have you got any passions?

    What I did there was ask an open ended questions, make a statement and ask another. This will encourage her to invest. If there are silences than great, just stand your ground and expect an answer like you're entitled to one, it will put pressure on her to answer. The loser would try to fill the silence with mindless crap because he got nervous. The winner is someone who can handle silences.

    Basically you want this sort of structure: Question - statement - question rather than question - question - question (recurring).

    After gaining investment you have to acknowledge it. If a girl is talking a lot than great, she is investing but the error most guys make is that they switch off and do not listen. What you have to do is show you're listening (girls like guys who listen and it's an important part of being charismatic) and reward her.

    One way you can reward is to relate what she has said to your life on an emotional level. Learn to speak with more emotions rather than dull facts. An example: She says she's very passionate about dancing. I personally relate like this "Yeah, I've heard dancing is awesome, its a lot like football in a way, I mean I love the feeling of being able to express myself very freely and creatively when ever I am playing, plus we both have to be quick on our feets". That's how I would relate to something she told me and I can always ask another questions that can deeper on this subject "How did you get into dancing".

    If you can make a girl feel like she's known you for a long time than rapport will come and things will just keep getting easier because of the emotional connect that comes with it.

    Now another way to relate it through the SOI. Just like relating, an SOI can come at any point in the interaction. In my opinion, nearly every advance we make on a girl is an SOI, including the approach.

    Using SOIs will eliminate the need for looking for IOIs because stating your intentions will help you know if the girl is really into you or if she's just playing around. Another point about SOIs is that they help a girl to image herself doing these sexual things that you stated with you.

    If you really want to know if it's safe to go through or knowing you have IOIs is to understand that if she stays after you have qualified than that an IOI in itself.

    The way SOIs work is in exactly the same way Kino Escalation works and that is to start small and work up to making them more and more sexual.

    The 1st SOI should relate to you liking a part of her personality. You can tell her a certain quality that she is turning you on.

    Throw a few more in and lead up to kissing which should be the 3rd or 4th SOI (don't take this system too seriously, it is very flexible, you have to use your own intuition).

    Make them more and more sexual until you know sex is on the cards. SOIs will accelerate the way you get a girl into bed and like I said before, once you incorporate them into your game the more things will look up.

    SOIs can and will get rejected but the best way to handle rejection is the old fashion way but it is very effective and that is being confident and maintaining your frame. Simply laughing or teasing her would negate the rejection. "I am so thinking about kissing you but not I'm sure if I want to kiss a nerd like you" (not the best example of teasing but that's all that came to my head).

    If she doesn't reject the SOI than the obvious thing would be to keep the interaction going and to move the statement into an action (If you say to girl you're thinking of kissing her, and she doesn't reject the idea but you don't kiss her than you are an idiot, I'm not here to sugarcoat things.)

    You can make an SOI playful or serious but you should never take them seriously.

    Maintain eye contact when delivering an SOI. It will show that you are indeed very confident and you mean what you say. Eye contact is important anyway when it comes to pick up.

    As mentioned before, you need to speak with emotions and mean what you say. Using facial expression is also vital.

    If you're not very comfortable being too direct with a girl like I've shown here than you can reverse the SOI to make it seem like she's trying to get you horny (it was actually something I experimented with last month and I got laid from it).

    I would also like to reiterate that an SOI should be used as rewards for her good behaviour as well as her investing. Don't ask a simple question like "where do you work", have her tell you something like Walmart and than you telling her she incredibly sexy. In what universe does that make sense? It is meant to be a personal reward from yourself.

    SOIs change the emotional state of the interaction rapidly. If you show that you can handle the change of state than that will only make you like more of a man in her eyes therefore raising her attraction for you.

    An awesome comeback which is also an SOI for shit test is "Shut up and Kiss me" If T-Mal is reading this I would like to thank him for that because it actually does work like a charm.

    An interaction should go - Platonic -> Personal -> Sexual.

    Keeping it at platonic and personal will result in the obvious consequence.

    In summary a good SOI would contain the follow two things.
    1. The word "sexy" or "attractive".
    2. A reason why would say this.

    People may think "why not words such as cute, beautiful, hot?" Well gentlemen, these words are ok to use and even I use them in some SOIs but the word "Sexy" carries a lot more impact because it is not used as frequently as the other words. Her mum might call her beautiful, her best friend may say she's cute and her guy friends may call her hot.

    Hopefully if you have read all this content than you should have an idea of what an SOI is and how to use them but I will give a few example. Some that are slightly soft and ones that will leave a girl in "Shock and awe".

    "Shut up and kiss me"

    *Take hand randomly* "Look at what you're doing" *Place hand on you heart" "Can you feel that?" "Stop being so damn sexy" *Shakes head* - This is an example of a reverse SOI.

    "For fucks sake why are you wearing that? You knew that would turn me on".

    *Acting slightly frustrated* "Something that doesn't happen to me very often is happening, your sexiness is driving me up the wall, how are you doing this? I'm meant to be the best in the world. This doesn't happen to me! Argggghh" - Personal one that I use. I sometimes have a frame where I believe I am above people. It a part of my cocky persona.

    "I'm not usually one to give a girl multiple orgasms on the(current situation), I'm a good boy but you're pushing the envelope sweetheart".

    "When we kiss (or have sex) it will be so hot, maybe even magical."

    "If we kiss right her, right now I bet it will make everyone so jealous because of how hot and sexy it would be."

    "Wow that was really intelligent (or whatever quality) it was almost sexy to me."

    "I find your sense of humour to very sexy. That's awesome".

    "You can be so funny sometimes its actually very cute"

    *Standard SOI are the first 15 minutes of the interaction* "Hey, I just realised something. Not only are you sexy but you're a great conversationalist but don't get too cocky on me, that's my job" *Wink*.

    "Baby, you don't even want to know what I am thinking of doing to you right now".

    "Stop looking at me like that, biting you're lips so sexily, you're just asking for trouble".

    These are only a few example that I have in my book but I mostly improvise because every girl is different. These are only guidelines. Most of them contain the word sexy and a reason but some are different but they are SOIs because they do state your intentions.

    Couple other things before I end this very long post (well done if you read it all). Don't take this too seriously and rigid. SOIs are meant to be a tool that is used along side other attraction builders such flirting, teasing, some DHVing and other tools.

    To incorporate this into the mystery method I would say this is the structure:
    A1 - Open.
    A2 - Entertain and start qualifying.
    A3 - End qualification and start using SOIs
    C1 - Wide rapport with more SOIs and reward. Kissing may occur.
    C2 - Date while still using SOIs.
    C3 - Place where you can start what you need to do.
    For the seduction period there's not a lot you should be doing as you both already know whats going to happen.
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  2. #2
    Aspie is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    I'm posting here to save it. I need to build a database of SOIs.

    Thanks.

  3. #3
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    Quote By Albert Einstein " The definition of a genius is taking something complex and making it simple"

    This technique does that. The Break Down:

    You say "Shut up and kiss me" to a girl randomly.

    Her Emotions & thoughts (in no particular order):

    1.Shock
    2. Hes Random
    3. Hes Confident.
    4. Bold.
    5. Knows what he wants.
    6. Hes Something different/New/Exciting.
    7.She gets shy
    8. She gets curious.
    9. Telling her (Commanding/Leading)

    Basically these statements/technique has the ability to stimulate all these thought and emotion in a girls mind from a 5 word sentence used in the wrong context... its achieve a complex reaction, by using a simple statement, therefore it is genius.

    But if there girl isn't interested in you that way, then you will probably just come off as a freak. So there ever has to be instant attraction or escalation before hand.

    That being Said "Statement of Intent" by definition would be "Stating your intention" which sounds more like "I want to Kiss you"

    So the title by definition doesn't apply. SOE "Statement of Expression"makes more sense, not expressing how you feel but saying whats on your mind is expression in a statement.

    But i Still see this as Indirect Game.
    Saying "When we kiss (or have sex) it will be so hot, maybe even magical." Is not Stating your intention, Its talking about a situation that hasnt happened and may or may not happen. She might get the hint because you are stating its going to happen. But you haven't told her your intention. Just a Random non existent event at the time its stated, so if she has to get the hint, its not direct and if its not direct or she has to analyse or think to work it out. Its Indirect Game. But a great Indirect game technique.

    Direct Game, The most Beautiful, efficient and least invested technique in the world... Why??

    Breakdown:

    Me: Hi, Im Tyrone, Whats your Name?
    target: Hi, My Name is....
    Me: I just had to tell you that you looking amazing, You look Fucking Fer nominal (Direct or Honesty)
    Her: Thank you (usually complimented with a rock side to side with a smile)
    Me: (pull out phone) "Give me your number" (Command) - Statement With Request of what you want - Direct Game
    Me: (Shove my phone in her pretty close to hand) - Direct Command
    Her: (She puts number in)
    Me: (call her to save my name) - Do an action to get a result - Direct Game)
    Me: Tell her i'm calling, and tell her (my intention) so I can save my number in her phone - Direct.
    Me: (takes her phone(( Saves my name as"Tyrone, Your next Date/Boyfriend/ Special Friend/ Your next Ex/ Husband") - leading by taking phone is Direct Saving my name as Tyrone your next Boyfriend - which is talking about an event that hasn't happened yet - bold and confident - but not direct nor honest - but like it anyway.

    I loved Indirect for so long, then I Loved time and energy even more and direct is way more efficient, Gives them lest time o think and just react and if someone isn't thinking then when you give commands like give me your number there more likely to obey. But i Still like using Indirect. Even at work, if someone pisses me off, i will do interesting behaviors to encourage certain thoughts, that will build an illusion of me that just nurtured by hints i set out to encourage that thought, that actually have nothing to do with who i am.

    It just depends on who you are what style suit you, and what your comfortable with doing and doing it successfully. I was Indirect when I was younger becuase It was more challenging in my mind to sneak in rather then all guns blazing and I could nurture thought by issuing hints, like using mystery to allure etc.

    But Then i got more protective of my time and energy I invested and went to Direct.

    Then I combined them where there hole between my game and the individual i was gaming, I call it Ädaptive Success Game" Because you adapt to the situation, and apply what ever it takes to be successful in what you want without compromising your self morally"

    Indirect has gone abit down in Australia, Everyone is Indirect and I watch them and they all look like rapist hiding behind a pretty bad front, Indirect Used to be genius Psychological Techniques like the one you just posted. Now its just a bunch of guys sticking there tippie toes in water, give a little then retract, give a little more, then retract. Ruined the true Indirect Game filled with Testosterone filled backseat Psychologist Field testing there Ideas and getting what they wanted out of it as a reward for there own genius.

    Now just rapist, who dont want you to know there a rapist while trying to gradually escalate and invest 2 hours of there time only to get rejected which burns more then investing 50 second, get rejected after 2 hours of investment enough times, you probably would become a rapist..... lol
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    I tried the direct approach once, at least as an opener. I was 31 (now 32) and most of the girls were 18 to 20. They wouldn't talk to me at all when I walked up to them. Granted my line was 'hi, I noticed you and I wanted to talk to you' granted there wasn't much in terms of statement of intent, but I also remember Gun Witch saying that approaching as something that needs to be excused is a major mental frame problem.

    What do you think? I've said it many times before, I'm in my early 30s and I want younger girls. I'm not apologising for what I want.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    Younger Girls (what age) my Direct approach works effieciently on girls between 18 - 25, Becuase thats what I want, Haven't tested it on older women. Note to self: Test on older Women.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    Here's some that I like... these are a little more playful than direct, but maybe they could fit someone else's style a little more. I'm def going to use several of yours ASAP though!!

    (the "..." is a pause, and a lot of these need to be said with a wink or obvious sarcasm)

    I like what I'm seeing here.... so far

    there is "something" about you... but I can't decide if I love it or hate it!

    You're adorable... I'd totally cuddle your brains out!

    If I was 17, and you were 17... I'd totally take you to prom!

    you're sexy as fuck... I wanna put a baby in your tummy

    you have no idea what I would do to you right now.. but I can't.. I'm on my period

    I'm on my period tonight... so we can't do-the-do

    are you the flowers and poem type... or the pull your hair and spank you type?? (and you can add this, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't) Either way, I have to get up early tomorrow

    (these last two I got from someone else, not sure if I like them, but feel free to try them out)

    Do you like your eggs scrambled in the morning... or your ovaries fertilized??

    I wanna fuck you, but I'm in love with my sister.

  7. #7
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    Works just fine with older women Tyrone. They actually want you to cut the bullshit.

  8. #8
    ChoppedandScrewed is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Game Changer - Statement of Intent

    very good post. i dig the SOI`s you gave, i can see myself using them and similar ones like it.


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