Hey guys, as I haven't posted anything solid in a while I decided to come out with something that has been mentioned a little bit on the forums but I haven't seen anyone explain properly. The something I am talking about known as the Statement of Intent or SOI for short.
I came across this back in late March of this year from reading Jugglers book (one of the best books out there for natural game, no real routines or dogmatic structure of game but it can be linked into Mystery method). I believe this is a real game changer because in many ways it has changed my game. In 2012 you would have seen me using a lot of Mystery Method but at the turn of the year I made the conscious decision to get into natural game as using the same old stuff was just starting to suck in general.
The statement of intent does exactly what it says: states your intentions to a woman but there's a little bit more to it than it seems.
I understand that people who follow very Indirect Game will be thinking "what the hell, someone's now saying we have to show interest?" Yes I am saying you have to because here's the thing: The confident man without game may state his intentions far too early which may get him some results but a lot of rejections as well but on the flip side, someone who's read up on game may be trying to do everything under the radar but doesn't know how to escalate the interaction therefore berating him to the oh so dreaded "No sex zone". I don't use the phrase "friend zone" as I do believe it is awesome to be friends with a girl while gaming her and it is a necessary component in actually getting the girl.
SOIs work in the manner that we have to reward the girl for investing into the interaction. That is generally all we need for an SOI to work. Think about for a second. An attractive girl gets hit on a lot in her life but for no reason and that pisses her off (or inflates her ego). If there is a reason for her being hit on than it would make much more sense for her to enjoy it because just like everything in life, the more we commit to something the more we want to hold on to that commitment and being rewarded for it is an even better bonus.
The structure that I run my game on these days is:
-Reward with emotional relation to my life or an SOI.
An opener could be anything. I prefer to go in situational, failing that I would do a ruthless, confident, bold direct approach.
The way we can encourage investment is to ask open ended questions, ones that can have a lot of answers and opinions in them. The trick to asking a good open ended question is to care about the answer, if you don't care than you're not going to bring a certain vibe unless you're good at faking it.
An example of an open ended question is: Tell me your life story? Understand that this question can have a lot of answers and I would give more examples but this post was mean't to be about SOI, you can look up open ended questions elsewhere.
Most of times you would get a crappy answer especially if it's early in the interaction but that's fine because you can encourage her by answering the question in an example form which is a statement (I encourage people to use more statements than questions because no one likes an interview). An example of encouragement to the life story question is: Well I'm a guy who grew up on the not so gold streets of London, I like football which is one of my biggest passions as well as music. Have you got any passions?
What I did there was ask an open ended questions, make a statement and ask another. This will encourage her to invest. If there are silences than great, just stand your ground and expect an answer like you're entitled to one, it will put pressure on her to answer. The loser would try to fill the silence with mindless crap because he got nervous. The winner is someone who can handle silences.
Basically you want this sort of structure: Question - statement - question rather than question - question - question (recurring).
After gaining investment you have to acknowledge it. If a girl is talking a lot than great, she is investing but the error most guys make is that they switch off and do not listen. What you have to do is show you're listening (girls like guys who listen and it's an important part of being charismatic) and reward her.
One way you can reward is to relate what she has said to your life on an emotional level. Learn to speak with more emotions rather than dull facts. An example: She says she's very passionate about dancing. I personally relate like this "Yeah, I've heard dancing is awesome, its a lot like football in a way, I mean I love the feeling of being able to express myself very freely and creatively when ever I am playing, plus we both have to be quick on our feets". That's how I would relate to something she told me and I can always ask another questions that can deeper on this subject "How did you get into dancing".
If you can make a girl feel like she's known you for a long time than rapport will come and things will just keep getting easier because of the emotional connect that comes with it.
Now another way to relate it through the SOI. Just like relating, an SOI can come at any point in the interaction. In my opinion, nearly every advance we make on a girl is an SOI, including the approach.
Using SOIs will eliminate the need for looking for IOIs because stating your intentions will help you know if the girl is really into you or if she's just playing around. Another point about SOIs is that they help a girl to image herself doing these sexual things that you stated with you.
If you really want to know if it's safe to go through or knowing you have IOIs is to understand that if she stays after you have qualified than that an IOI in itself.
The way SOIs work is in exactly the same way Kino Escalation works and that is to start small and work up to making them more and more sexual.
The 1st SOI should relate to you liking a part of her personality. You can tell her a certain quality that she is turning you on.
Throw a few more in and lead up to kissing which should be the 3rd or 4th SOI (don't take this system too seriously, it is very flexible, you have to use your own intuition).
Make them more and more sexual until you know sex is on the cards. SOIs will accelerate the way you get a girl into bed and like I said before, once you incorporate them into your game the more things will look up.
SOIs can and will get rejected but the best way to handle rejection is the old fashion way but it is very effective and that is being confident and maintaining your frame. Simply laughing or teasing her would negate the rejection. "I am so thinking about kissing you but not I'm sure if I want to kiss a nerd like you" (not the best example of teasing but that's all that came to my head).
If she doesn't reject the SOI than the obvious thing would be to keep the interaction going and to move the statement into an action (If you say to girl you're thinking of kissing her, and she doesn't reject the idea but you don't kiss her than you are an idiot, I'm not here to sugarcoat things.)
You can make an SOI playful or serious but you should never take them seriously.
Maintain eye contact when delivering an SOI. It will show that you are indeed very confident and you mean what you say. Eye contact is important anyway when it comes to pick up.
As mentioned before, you need to speak with emotions and mean what you say. Using facial expression is also vital.
If you're not very comfortable being too direct with a girl like I've shown here than you can reverse the SOI to make it seem like she's trying to get you horny (it was actually something I experimented with last month and I got laid from it).
I would also like to reiterate that an SOI should be used as rewards for her good behaviour as well as her investing. Don't ask a simple question like "where do you work", have her tell you something like Walmart and than you telling her she incredibly sexy. In what universe does that make sense? It is meant to be a personal reward from yourself.
SOIs change the emotional state of the interaction rapidly. If you show that you can handle the change of state than that will only make you like more of a man in her eyes therefore raising her attraction for you.
An awesome comeback which is also an SOI for shit test is "Shut up and Kiss me" If T-Mal is reading this I would like to thank him for that because it actually does work like a charm.
An interaction should go - Platonic -> Personal -> Sexual.
Keeping it at platonic and personal will result in the obvious consequence.
In summary a good SOI would contain the follow two things.
1. The word "sexy" or "attractive".
2. A reason why would say this.
People may think "why not words such as cute, beautiful, hot?" Well gentlemen, these words are ok to use and even I use them in some SOIs but the word "Sexy" carries a lot more impact because it is not used as frequently as the other words. Her mum might call her beautiful, her best friend may say she's cute and her guy friends may call her hot.
Hopefully if you have read all this content than you should have an idea of what an SOI is and how to use them but I will give a few example. Some that are slightly soft and ones that will leave a girl in "Shock and awe".
"Shut up and kiss me"
*Take hand randomly* "Look at what you're doing" *Place hand on you heart" "Can you feel that?" "Stop being so damn sexy" *Shakes head* - This is an example of a reverse SOI.
"For fucks sake why are you wearing that? You knew that would turn me on".
*Acting slightly frustrated* "Something that doesn't happen to me very often is happening, your sexiness is driving me up the wall, how are you doing this? I'm meant to be the best in the world. This doesn't happen to me! Argggghh" - Personal one that I use. I sometimes have a frame where I believe I am above people. It a part of my cocky persona.
"I'm not usually one to give a girl multiple orgasms on the(current situation), I'm a good boy but you're pushing the envelope sweetheart".
"When we kiss (or have sex) it will be so hot, maybe even magical."
"If we kiss right her, right now I bet it will make everyone so jealous because of how hot and sexy it would be."
"Wow that was really intelligent (or whatever quality) it was almost sexy to me."
"I find your sense of humour to very sexy. That's awesome".
"You can be so funny sometimes its actually very cute"
*Standard SOI are the first 15 minutes of the interaction* "Hey, I just realised something. Not only are you sexy but you're a great conversationalist but don't get too cocky on me, that's my job" *Wink*.
"Baby, you don't even want to know what I am thinking of doing to you right now".
"Stop looking at me like that, biting you're lips so sexily, you're just asking for trouble".
These are only a few example that I have in my book but I mostly improvise because every girl is different. These are only guidelines. Most of them contain the word sexy and a reason but some are different but they are SOIs because they do state your intentions.
Couple other things before I end this very long post (well done if you read it all). Don't take this too seriously and rigid. SOIs are meant to be a tool that is used along side other attraction builders such flirting, teasing, some DHVing and other tools.
To incorporate this into the mystery method I would say this is the structure:
A1 - Open.
A2 - Entertain and start qualifying.
A3 - End qualification and start using SOIs
C1 - Wide rapport with more SOIs and reward. Kissing may occur.
C2 - Date while still using SOIs.
C3 - Place where you can start what you need to do.
For the seduction period there's not a lot you should be doing as you both already know whats going to happen.