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Thread: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

  1. #1
    david98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    So college finishes for the summer next week and I need to act fast (tomorrow or the day after).
    I randomly asked a girl if she wanted to grab coffee sometime a few weeks ago (I'd seen her around campus). I left my number with her. She text me the next day saying sure, and after cancelling due to an appointment she'd forgotten about, we met for coffee that saturday night. It was awesome, we both laughed and talked for nearly 3 hours. A couple of days later she sends me a text out of nowhere saying that she'd had fun and she'd like to hangout again sometime. I said definitely, and asked if that Thursday worked, and she said yes. I text her the day before we'd planned to hangout to confirm the date, but she said that a lot of work had come up for her classes and she was going to be busy. I said 'that's fine, let me know when you're free to hangout'.

    I texted her on saturday morning (i know, i know i shouldn't have...mistake on my part) asking if she wanted to get dinner that night, but she said she'd already had plans for a girl's night and was going to eat with her roommate. I made a joke about her being so busy and we haven't talked since.

    The semester ends next week so I need to act fast. I know I've messed up a lot here, but I honestly don't know what to do - completely confused. Help please?

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    Send her a message seeing if she wants to do something? Seems pretty straight forward to me...
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    david98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    It's just every time a girl's ever used the 'already had plans with friend' excuse, it's because she's not interested. That along with the 'busy' excuse is making me question whether I should do anything at all. And if I did, how could I do it without looking needy and asking again.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    Send a message. In that message don't ask if she has plans, but make it a matter of fact statement (i.e., Let's grab a bite at Mike's Burger Joint on Tuesday, 6 sounds good?). If she says she's busy ask her what day would work for her. If she won't commit, she's not interested, problem solved.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    Send a message. In that message don't ask if she has plans, but make it a matter of fact statement (i.e., Let's grab a bite at Mike's Burger Joint on Tuesday, 6 sounds good?). If she says she's busy ask her what day would work for her. If she won't commit, she's not interested, problem solved.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    Duke pounds it in...pretty much words of what I did once. Was sort of bouncing back and forth..I thought #$%#$ I need to call this girl otherwise id fitting to blow myself out over text, i.e trying to make plans over many text exchanges isnt prompt to me..and risked my good progress...Called and was like, hey theres some good movies playing..heres the list and times....BAM! Loved it...

    And as well I was trying to make something happen and was at the point where if she flakes out on this offer im done....but luckily that wasnt the case.

  6. #6
    david98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    Ok so I'll ask her like you said tomorrow. I just worry that I'll come off as needy...

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    First, this is your last shot so it doesn't matter how it comes off. Do or die time.

    Second, needy is a mental state. If you frame yourself as the dominate alpha male in the manner I suggested, then you aren't needy.

    Third, don't worry about the result. Do your best and learn from your mistakes.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #8
    david98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    Ok, so I text her and said something like 'we're hanging out', to which she responded "yes! this weekend would be a good for me. you? sorry i've been so busy".
    i said i'd be free on saturday after 7 to which she said "sounds great"

    so essentially, what steps should i take this time to avoid another flake? when should i follow up?

    Thanks so much.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    make sure you don't fark it up, like sounding too anxious. and be sure to make it sound like you're going to have a james bonde adventure instead of the usual " lets go get a drink" sell it to her, like a sale's pitch ex: this is the last time i'm going to be free for this month, then i have to........
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  10. #10
    david98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Mixed Messages, Limited Time

    so here's what happened:
    i text her saying...hey, i'm going to 'movie' (i knew she wanted to see)with some friends at ***. you should come with us.
    Her:"thanks for the invite. blah blah can't believe i have to say this but i'm busy again. have to meet *** for *** around that time. sorry!
    Me: damn tough luck
    Her: Sorry!
    Me: it's fine, i'm sure we'll have a terrible time

    Haven't heard back. Game over?


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