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Thread: Bar Approach Fail: What went wrong... if anything...

  1. #1
    Stranded In Suburbia is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Bar Approach Fail: What went wrong... if anything...

    I went out last night to a bar within my normal roaming zone, hunting alone, with all of its advantages and disadvantages. The bar had some live music, with a band that is known for attracting a crowd in my target age group (mature, if you must know).

    As it turns out there was a "meetup" in progress, the room was full of people, and a lot of them knew one another.

    I entered the room, and for once avoided circling it, which I usually sort of do habitually.... got a name brand beer, and located myself near a 3-set. My "target" was the blond. She was nice and friendly, right size and shape, no apparent Bitch Shield, in the first few minutes I was there, several lesser men from the meetup approached her for a dance, and she agreed. The rest of the set was a shy brunette, and a third... dark hair and mocha skin, also very nice.

    I positioned myself so that my target had to walk around me with her partner, and every time she did, I gracefully sidestepped her, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. At a certain point, I started "dancing" with her... moving with her with a less intense version of the same rhythm and step... while she was across the room, ostensibly dancing with "the guys"...She picked up on this and while the drones were buzzing around her, she was looking at me...this actually got intense, or as intense as it can get 15 feet away from my partner, during a slow blues song, when there was some slow hip grinding...Later, she made an offhand remark with a mouthful of food as she buzzed by me, to which I responded with something less witty that I would have liked.

    At a certain moment, when she was dancing with her 3-set, I joined her on the floor.. this lasted only for a few seconds... she bailed on the scene... the 3-set went back to their table, but by that time, I was dancing with a collateral target, and at some point, the whole set took off.

    So first of all, I had fun, which I suppose is the main project and I do not feel a bit bad about that.

    Second of all, I did establish a connection with the target, who was kind of a cutie, I have to say...

    Thirdly I did fail to close. In retrospect I was a bit too indirect and might have moved faster. There is a chance she was a flirt and was not closeable anyway, since she was obviously friendly with the drones in the meetup group... and there is also a chance that the next time I show back up there, with the proper conditions, I can finish the job I started. Also, I do know the name of the meetup and could with some effort join it, and patiently wait for another opportunity...

    or not... there was an advantage in being an outsider, I think...

    So, what does the forum think? Success or fail, and what might I have done differently?

  2. #2
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bar Approach Fail: What went wrong... if anything...

    Well there's always room for improvement. You are not going to get anywhere if you don't talk to the girl. Granted maybe it was just a game to her yes I have had girls smiling at me too but that doesn't mean I always act on it. This is a game bro. Sometimes I just like the attention and I know PUA's talk about cold approach a lot but there is something I believe in called warm approach.

    Warm Approach
    Warm approach I believe is something where HB's are giving you IOI's before the approach or trying to talk to you before the approach. So yes you could have approached her after she passed you by. When she talked to you that was the perfect opening to approach her. Remember just because you weren't happy with your indirect response that's fine always time to rectify. Just wait 10 seconds to 3 minutes and go approach if this happens again.

    I am an approach machine but that doesn't mean I approach every pretty girl in sight. In fact unless the place is crawling with HB's or holding up a super hot HB I really don't feel like doing anything about it.

    Either way you learned some stuff about body language which is good you just got to approach an HB you're interested in talking to and see where it goes. Try some cold approaches but look for the warm approaches, this takes calibration.

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