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Thread: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

  1. #11
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    Please, the friendzone doesn't even exist. It's a false mentality created for people who believe that they have no shot with a girl. If you want proof, look back in high school at the popular guy, where when he became single, all of his female friends wanted to get at him. I've seen it happen numerous times in high school and college. Hell, it's even happened to both of my brothers.

    I've had this question asked to me before by a girl, and my response was this:

    "What's in it for me?"

    After some negotiating and teasing, I ended up giving her a hug and some advice on her dating problems. In return, she bought me a whole six pack of Coldstone cupcakes. God DAMN do I love the power of persuasion

    Well call it what you will but there is still a point where a HB will put you in the "no fly zone" when you first meet them. It is truely hard to recover from this and this is usually when they say they have a BF. For instance...

    HB9 Cocktail Waitress
    HER: "What are you doing later?" (trying to hook up but I badly screwed this up with a auto-rejection)
    HER: "Will I see you again soon love like next weekend?"
    After I did an epic fail by waiting till after leaving the Club to try and hook up she marked me down as "no fly zone". She asked what the heck I was talking about, left on vacation for two weeks, said she had a BF and now never flirts with me anymore. I should have tried to hook up that night at the Club but because I acted too slow I lost her. She stopped calling me love as well.

    So essentially I don't know but I think when you meet a new girl and they don't throw out the BF card right away you have a lot more leway to game them. If I would have been more Alpha with the Cocktail Waitress that night it would have gone a lot better. But I notice once a girl brings up the BF thing to me they always bring him up like it's not going away and that pretty much kills my mojo. Ever since the Cocktail Waitress told me that she brings up the BF all the time and stopped trying to hook up so we are just friends to her. So I think if the BF thing isn't brought up by you or her and she hasn't put you in the no fly zone then there is still a bit of intrigue going on and you can still have a better chance. During the initial phases where they are curious about you, trying to hook up, flirting all the time, etc they want you. But I noticed when they mention the BF thing or I act at the wrong time to make something happen or wait too long then the flirting stops, the intrigue stops, and it's pretty much just like a friendship where they are no longer interested.

    But if you get put in the no fly zone and you think there is a way to recover Swagman I would sure like to know how you think of accomplishing that for a situation like what I just mentioned.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Omg to get out of the "FRIENDZONE". DON'T ACT LIKE HER GUY FRIEND!!!!! DON'T BE LIKE THOSE OTHER GUYS SHE RUNS TO AND TELLS HER PROBLEMS TO WHEN HER BF DOES SOMETHING. FLIRT AND TEASE HER TO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T JUST HER FRIEND. YOU GET IN THE FRIENDZONE BY BEING HER FRIEND/STRAIGHT FRIEND/Brother
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Omg to get out of the "FRIENDZONE". DON'T ACT LIKE HER GUY FRIEND!!!!! DON'T BE LIKE THOSE OTHER GUYS SHE RUNS TO AND TELLS HER PROBLEMS TO WHEN HER BF DOES SOMETHING. FLIRT AND TEASE HER TO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T JUST HER FRIEND. YOU GET IN THE FRIENDZONE BY BEING HER FRIEND/STRAIGHT FRIEND/Brother
    ^^ What he said. In addition, attraction fades in and out. No matter what you do, give it some time and the right moment, and kicking it off with a girl you have known for a decade can feel like a brand new interaction. It's all a part of that complex where people change, people forget, and people move on. That's how you get out of that no-fly zone.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    You befriend a girl when you fail at (or don't want to) bringing a sexual vibe to the conversation.

    Really don't know what is the problem of being friends with a girl, it's cool to have female friends, they know other girls. Build your social circle first.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    You befriend a girl when you fail at (or don't want to) bringing a sexual vibe to the conversation.

    Really don't know what is the problem of being friends with a girl, it's cool to have female friends, they know other girls. Build your social circle first.
    Yes, yes, yes. I believe in friends, as in having someone close or in your social circle. I just don't believe in a false mentality where supposedly you are never able to get out. I prefer to think of it as attraction on one side, non-attraction on the other, and a gray zone in between, where you are not her friend. This gray zone is what would be known as the friendzone and I hear it often described as a black hole that once you are in, you can't get out. I don't believe that this is so.

    I might be convinced to say the friendzone does exist, IF the definition and understanding of it is changed as well.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #16
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Really don't believe in the friend zone too, at least to be a black hole where you can't get out. There are loads of who have female friends and, after some months or years, they have sex and date for some time.

    I believe that the friend zone term comes from not bringing sexual content to a conversation with a girl, so she starts seeing you as an asexual guy. So when some guy sees this, he thinks "fark, it's too hard, almost impossible and it would be awkward to bring sexual content to this conversation, to put some sexual innuendo", or in the beginning, he may think "sh1t, I'm afraid of putting some sexual innuendo here, what might be her reaction?" and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam, black hole, friend zone comes... when everything you need to do is to put some sexual innuendo.

    Oh and by the way, this happens because the majority of our parents don't talk that much about sex, so they make us think that it is a taboo, when it isn't, hence our hard time in talking about sex in front of a woman.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Really don't believe in the friend zone too, at least to be a black hole where you can't get out. There are loads of who have female friends and, after some months or years, they have sex and date for some time.

    I believe that the friend zone term comes from not bringing sexual content to a conversation with a girl, so she starts seeing you as an asexual guy. So when some guy sees this, he thinks "fark, it's too hard, almost impossible and it would be awkward to bring sexual content to this conversation, to put some sexual innuendo", or in the beginning, he may think "sh1t, I'm afraid of putting some sexual innuendo here, what might be her reaction?" and baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam, black hole, friend zone comes... when everything you need to do is to put some sexual innuendo.

    Oh and by the way, this happens because the majority of our parents don't talk that much about sex, so they make us think that it is a taboo, when it isn't, hence our hard time in talking about sex in front of a woman.
    True. You hit the nail right on the point man. Tbh I don't get why people don't just go for what they want
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    I like all your reasoning lenric. We can both say that we don't believe in the black hole concept of the friend zone, that once you're a friend you're done. However, you do bring up a good point that once a guy feels like he's entered the friend zone then he believes that it's impossible to bring sexual innuendo to the conversation. That I also agree is where the black hole concept comes from.

    Overall, I believe that we can both say that the friend zone is a bad state of mind that, when overcome, can lead to success with any female friend.

    To answer your question, marvilo, and to bring up another interesting thing, it's because although we may have overcome the mentality, she has something completely different. She has this preconceived notion about you as either a friend or nothing, and she usually doesn't feel like she has the time to change her mind on the subject. On another hand, she may simply just not want to do so. It usually takes some sort of amazing or awesome action or the right words to break the looking glass.

    It's a pain, but as I just read some interesting stuff by LockDown, it's possible to break her mentality. It just requires a lot of story telling and quick thinking.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    And sometimes... we're afraid that we can screw up a friendship!

  10. #20
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    Default Re: Is this needy or not? Definition of needy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    Please, the friendzone doesn't even exist. It's a false mentality created for people who believe that they have no shot with a girl. If you want proof, look back in high school at the popular guy, where when he became single, all of his female friends wanted to get at him. I've seen it happen numerous times in high school and college. Hell, it's even happened to both of my brothers.

    I've had this question asked to me before by a girl, and my response was this:

    "What's in it for me?"

    After some negotiating and teasing, I ended up giving her a hug and some advice on her dating problems. In return, she bought me a whole six pack of Coldstone cupcakes. God DAMN do I love the power of persuasion
    I agree with this to an extent. I mean the girls in high school you are referring to didn't really "friend zone" that guy. They were just waiting to hook up with him. I do think that you can get friend zoned. Most guys think that it is impossible to get out of but it isn't. It is hard tho. If a girl legit friend zones you then all the flirting in the world won't change her mind. Especially if you rejected her and then she LJBF you. She will just chalk it up to you being a tease and won't bite.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.


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