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Thread: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

  1. #11
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rod27 View Post
    Thx Hardrock....I don't see where I said there was sexual communication but ok.....there are some gaps in my story....it's probably not possible or even necessary to fill in every little thing. Let's just say she doesn't trust me and I need to regain that trust. I need to show her that i am the man she wants. We aren't even divorced yet cuz the court hasn't filed it...but it will happen. It's just a paper anyway and a guarantee that she gets child support and a settlement and her attorney fees paid for...all by me. No problem.....it's my responsibility.

    I've seen plenty of examples where I wasn't the man. Plus the circumstances of no contact and no verbal communication over the past year make everything harder. These past few days I was just texting. Today I grew some balls and just called her to make small talk and talk about the baby. We havent spoken in person in about a year. She answered......asked right away if the baby was ok....after some small talk about how we should TALK instead of text and some other things about the baby, she agreed to a meet and early exchange tomorrow. Tomorrow I have a 30 second elevator pitch to get a positive message across.

    If anything this will be a good documentation of how to reconcile a much more serious relationship(exwife with a young son) with an older woman(30's).
    Sounds to me like you know exactly what to do. You came here seeking advice already knowing the answers.

    On a side note, Hard Rock has been making some very good points. You'd be wise to at least re-read his points several times, even if you don't agree.

  2. #12
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    I think even though he is open minded he just wants to be sure whether this is the right one, because he left details out.on the other hand i think dynamics is dynamics since he is getting IOIs.its good he hasn't blown his cool yet.i keep hinting at it because it must not be easy leaving a wife you like however he seems to be on it so he should be fine.


    If anything this will be a good documentation of how to reconcile a much more serious relationship(exwife with a young son) with an older woman(30's).
    Don't label your relationship for now.its sort of over treat it like you are now beginning.by taking advantage of her signals and going for it.i think you're baby focus thing should be cut soon and rather include the three of them after escalating soon.the best way of going about this is to do as follows.any situation you are with her you can at least calibrate.if feasible kiss.marriages are just labels sort of.i understand your situation but you seem to be passionate about this girl you can't loose.push ahead soon.
    ---------------------------------
    Sounds to me like you know exactly what to do. You came here seeking advice already knowing the answers.
    i agree with lilsting first point and yep he seems to have few answers but is a bit open to suggestions because this may be quite a difficult dynamic.As long as he deosn't crack early or raise a false flag he should be fine.

  3. #13
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    I only sound the way you guys describe because I've been reading a lot here. In the past I was sometimes needy. I now know that doesn't work......wish I would have known that when I was younger.

  4. #14
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Today we had an early exchange of the baby. I called her to ask her to come to the park to spend some time with the baby and talk. She said "no not today" very politely. I tried to press her a little by saying just wanted to let him play with us around, but no success. A few minutes later her mom came and got him and gave me a fathers day present of a framed crayon drawing. She stayed in the car. We walked to the parking lot and she gave me a wave after she put him in the car seat.

    To clarify, the no contact order last year was not my choice.

  5. #15
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Update.....A few minutes later she texted about baby's antibiotics....I answered and added "wanted to clear the air....and say(not text) thx for the most life changing fathers day present....our son". She texted "My pleasure". I then texted "I know u don't mean it was pleasurable to make him ;-) good night"....she responded "Gn hope u enjoy his first work of art". I will leave it at that.

  6. #16
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    That's fine. You don't want to press to hard so definitely leave it there. Good job incorporating some flirting in. Keep on with the updates and questions!

  7. #17
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Don't stop reading material on here.i don't like how her mom came in after a few minutes for the baby.unless you are restricted by law you may spend time w/ the baby as long as you want.next time you could say well i want to spend sme time with x, maybe you can come for him a few mins l8r.say this with a relaxed tone.
    This girl likes you but for now slow down on asking her out.but don't miss IOIs when you get them.you will

    To avoid getting one itis for her keep studying game so in case it doesn't work for you, u can get an another HB.why?if you are too invested in this you will come across as needy and it may creep her out.see this as something you will keep at the back of your mind.be more social don't ask girls out on dates if you will but talk to them and run game innocently.just go about being an attractive guy to everyone(woman) you meet.practice.
    in this case am talking about when you get chance to make conversation.etc.not cold hard approach though


    If anything you wil want to create the dynamic that you want to spend time with your son.do it sparingly though.as you keep doing that she will be drwn to the situation since she is passionate about him too.this should bring the two of you together.here is where the iois thing too comes into play, Kino and running game.

    if you start she may shit test you to see if its really about your son.like staying off.probably not being alone with you don't worry just focus on your child.

    what you do with as i outlined is kino , running game , and getting that kiss close with focusing on your son.calibrate though if she becomes more open you know what to do.

  8. #18
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Will do......I've been escalating via text. She isn't reciprocating the flirtation. I may back off and wait to meet for 30 second elevator pitch, and work on regaining her trust. She is going to make me work for it...no doubt. There have been no ioi's yet.

  9. #19
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Will do......I've been escalating via text. She isn't reciprocating the flirtation. I may back off and wait to meet for 30 second elevator pitch, and work on regaining her trust. She is going to make me work for it...no doubt. There have been no ioi's yet.
    Hmm i think the flirtation via phone could be minimized or paused since it creates a bit of pressure regarding the situation.maybe it would have worked if it was prev.depends too on the content.if you are being sexual too much it may be a bit..the best way is to wait till your one one or when she comes with the baby.or the 30 second pitch as said.calibrate though if you can't don't rush her.a way you can test if she is ready to be kissed is by making sure you are a bit close then touching her hair.as you are doing it ask what x cream did she put into her hair.
    if she answers just say cuul(relaxed tone).run your fingers through her hair once placing your hand at the back of her head and kiss her.
    if you are close enough you can move in.tell her it was for something she did.

    if you get the kiss act normal don't go AFC.it should project in the way you hold yourself that day.on regaining her trusti think if you make this your focus you may come of too strong.yep you must work for it.since she said that you could have a relationship after divorce its not unrecoverable.

  10. #20
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Well divorce finally finished tuesday....i feel like i got played cuz now she's celebrating her freedom and making childish text comments. Seems like she played like a golddigger and won.

    Yesterday july 4th after i got my son, she texted exactly what i was thinking about our son...i replied
    "My mind transference worked"....

    she replied "lol....mente pollito" which means "simple mind"....shes ridiculing me but also its a lyric from a song.

    So i texted the next verse "Ya no sufras que la vida es asi" ...which means basically stop suffering, that's life, get over it.

    she replied "Lol look who's happy now...Yo no sufro....la independensia es muy hermosa"....

    I responded "You always had ur independence from me....i never held u down...so give it a rest"....i was happy she kept texting while at her family party but i was pissed.

    Her last text she sends me a video of a song we used to dance to and said "enjoy be happy".

    Trying to take the high road i texted "With my son and my family....nothing better. Enjoy the next 3 days :-p"...( cuz i have my son all weekend and we had custody battle that i won getting equal time...so she will miss him these 3 days)

    She is still staying away during exchanges. She is basically ridiculing me by text saying things like "what?...u mad?" Which i respond the NEXT DAY saying "naaaaa....just tired of your games and seeing your true colors". Im not proud cuz i should have stfu'd.

    I think i know what u guys are going to say....i got sucked into her Sh1t Test and now i have to go no contact.


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