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Thread: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

  1. #31
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    When the divorce ended she had the time to get out of your life why is she dhving you(we both you she has a child with you but..).did these things used to happen without you knowing.and why are they becoming intense now.
    Sounds like she is beginning to sense a new man because you had shown her 'such' sides and since you never had them(to her) and have failed a few and succeed with most(yep)expect them to come at least for now...till it becomes a constant in her mind.

    In fact be prepared for it esp if she hasn't seen this side of you.Don't let it affect you from now everything is awesome and you are unfazed.

    Currently she is in a split state.she may unconsciously have seen this attractive side and may be trying to see whether its for REAL.
    No divorced woman texts her husband she has won often.normally they may be with friends and celebrate mainly it never about the guy.its very interesting you heard from her at fun time.

    She says "that's the man I remember".
    You recognize the Sh1t Test man that awesome.!!All thats left is handling.

    going to start negging her and dhv'ing and still be superdad.
    Chill with the negging though.

  2. #32
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    I dont think its cuz she senses a new man....she probably senses a man down. She had time to figure herself out during the long no contact during domestic violence and custody battle. There was no violence...its a tactic women use to get husbands out of the house. She did everything we tell each other to do here....worked on herself. More later....seeing patients.

  3. #33
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Hmm Sh1t Test is normal at this stage.the new man comes from the fact that you seem to pass and fail her sh1t test on some level.you even mentioned and acknowledged you failed some, and you think it may be pointed out.
    When you pass a sh1t test it opens doors so to speak.when you fail or half pass they come again sometimes harder.
    few times little details counts never underestimate subtle IOIs.

  4. #34
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    there have been ZERO ioi's....just shit tests and celebrations on her part

  5. #35
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    ok.....to clarify a few things....the July 4th text on her part was to tell me to keep him overnight. He had overslept 2 hours with her so i got him at 4pm instead of 2pm. Exchange back to her was supposed to be at 8pm. Since she was at her family's party she probably wanted to not pick him up and stay there late. So i dont think it was a positive for me.

    She only texts me stuff about him. When she got mad last week about things i wasnt doing to her satisfaction for our son, instead of me reacting angrily, i texted her "ur still mad about something?...i took care of you and son at mediation...if ur just being emotional about tmrw(final divorce) i understand"...i lowered her value. She turns it around on me saying "Im not mad....you didnt do anything for me...its your child....im not emotional about tmrw...its a relief...tell me how i can help you move past this chapter in your life"

    Today we just did kiddo exchange....i was running late so at the last second i told her to come pick him up at my place for the first time since i moved. "just woke up...do me a huge favor and come get him....thx hun....ur the best. I will even let u make him breakfast today." She pulled this on me couple weeks ago. She probably wasnt happy i bought a new home right before divorce and she is still renting. Her mother makes all the exchanges....she stays in the car or is at work when i went to her house to pick up my son.

    So the negging will only be if she sh1t tests me again. A couple i have planned....

    LOL....barbie doll has jokes...how cute

    im busy...i dont have time for your barbie doll games

    i wouldnt mind seeing your upper lip flare up when u get mad (she is selfconscious about her upper lip)

  6. #36
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    "just woke up...do me a huge favor and come get him....thx hun....ur the best.
    For now you must cut calling her sweet heart until you have reestablished the attraction phase.even then personally i would use this sparingly.i get that she was once your wife but yh.even if she does at this time try not to.For now we're treating her like a woman we are building attraction with.think of it even if you both move on its attraction that will pull you towards the other.

    she stays in the car or is at work when i went to her house to pick up my son.

    This could be used as a sh1t test..anytime your x wife playfully insults you.tries to get you to do something that you aren't really supposed to do she may be testing you.another thing is also with the baby time.thats your son obviously and trust me theres nothing like he over slept if baby is asleep carry child and bring him over i'll put him to sleep too.
    Her sending her mum is a huge sh1t test and shouldn't be tolerated.Fine even if she doesn't want to see you she could get out of the way.
    The solution to this is your body language and how you react.
    The key is to imply you're unaffected...
    When it happens make sure you deal with her mum as in communicate with her only say hi to her(ex wife) but don't be open.at the same time too don't appear angry.When you see her after she has sent her mum in the same time don't be the first to crack she may question you answer politely and immediately say you have to leave.

    So the negging will only be if she sh1t tests me again. A couple i have planned....

    LOL....barbie doll has jokes...how cute
    This ones not bad at all.

    im busy...i dont have time for your barbie doll games
    you ones a HUGE neg sort of.it kinda implies shes a child.with her ego she may feel a bit insulted.most HB might.

    i wouldnt mind seeing your upper lip flare up when u get mad (she is selfconscious about her upper lip)
    Never use a woman insecurity against her.if it breaks her you might not be able to take that back.let someone else do if they will but you no.you were her husband.she may be self conscious.. if you decide to attract her again you have to deal with her or even may have to deal with her for a long time(kid).i wouldn't go for that now.This why negs can be really...

    I believe once attraction is built a lot can be worked here.you said there are no IOIs.sometimes it starts with even believing she wants you but we won't delve into that...personally i think she is attracted to you now and theres a chance you can at least trigger it even if you don't see it.i've already stated the indicators...She never went for the divorce you went ahead.if you could also state any mistake you believe you made prior to suggesting the separation.In a nutshell yep you can get her to come over want to spend time with you.miss you.call you huney..we already talk about this(your reaction), best of all feel it so much that it would be your direction..your terms.(power) on most levels
    Your wife has this masculine frame, but she is still a girl, you have the power to bring out this side of her.In nutshell this could work.The least you could have is an attracted woman. remember she was once attracted i believe she is on some level.PEACE
    Last edited by HardRock; 07-09-2013 at 11:51 AM. Reason: Additional info

  7. #37
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Hey Doc,

    I just caught wind of this thread. I'm close to your age and ex-premed myself. Had my share of life experiences. I've read everything and I just want to chime in.

    I know you've been trying to salvage this for the sake of your kid, as much as it sucks hearing this - You gotta let her go, man.

    Remember: she is your ex for a reason. And from what I'm gathering, a damn good reason. She sounds like the type of woman who is controlling and manipulative. Someone who takes shots at you with mind games and brings you down. I've had friends who were victims of these types of women and it never ends well. All it does is it drains your confidence and emasculates you. And your confidence is shot or else you wouldn't be here.

    You are now single. Now is a time to take advantage of this fine opportunity and date other women. Columbian women are really beautiful and somewhere out there, there is a woman who is compatible with you, a complement to your well-being, that won't fvck with your head and bring you down. We don't go into relationships to be brought down, even more so we don't associate ourselves with people who do that. What you need to do, doc, is go out there, and rediscover your manhood. But you gotta cut the leash.

    I believe that women are attracted to "the perception of status." Take comfort in knowing that you are a doctor. In some countries like Japan, a doctor/lawyer, hell, you can get just about any woman you want. But your confidence went from Rockstar to Rock bottom.

    You can read these forums all you want on how to deal with old news, but if you rely on it too much, all it does is it reinforces anxiety and ultimately is regressive to your confidence. You are telling yourself "you are not good enough" when you should be telling yourself the opposite.

    Sometimes we spend so much time looking back, we don't see new doors in front of us opening. What you need to do is go out there and venture and rediscover your manhood and be a player. Date other women and use them as batting practice. Up your averages. Forget your old score, man. Meet new women and find a woman who is hotter than her who has a good head on her shoulders.

    She's out there. You just gotta turn forward and look.

    That's how you win.

  8. #38
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    thx for the input bro.....yea i have been able to fool around since the split but im not a big player. And you are right.....i wanted the divorce early on for a reason, but she followed through with it cuz i was busy(office, dad sick, etc), and in anger i told her i didnt have time, so she should do it. And she did.....so she "made me wrong". Im not down like i was over the weekend.....time helps quickly....a little bit everyday.

    My exwife is more of a church going chick who thinks she is the righteous alpha. She wont get jealous if she sees me with other chicks. She will get pissed off and realize she made the right decision, so she isnt like most of the stories i read here. She was only taking shots at me recently, celebrating her freedom, but our conflicts during the marriage were not like that....they were cuz she would get angry over stupid things and i would blow her off. Now i see that was her way of communicating she wasnt happy, and my reaction was the wrong one. Instead of communicating, i would bail or go fishing. I didnt handle things like a man should. I have low Testosterone so it didnt help...i was always tired and nonconfrontational. It's fixed now. She is a night owl and im a morning guy....with low T you are tired at 9pm.

    The plan is to move on....but she got the best of me and i want to play the game better for whatever comes next.....bettering myself is the first step.

    one other thing i have really kept to myself....it's not a huge medical issue but there is something...it will always be there, it was my fault, and I took responsibility for it.

  9. #39
    Doctodd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    She's still farking with me...it's more annoying than anything cuz I feel like I'm in high school again with these childish games.

    Like I said in my last message the baby woke up late monday morning and I asked her to come pick him up at my new home that I bought right before divorce was final. She had always been bugging me for a house while we were married so I don't think she was happy, but she didn't say anything.

    So this morning it's my turn to have him at 8am......she texts me sayng he is asleep and will text me when he is awake. This is typical and usually a half hour wait. An hour goes by and nothing.....i text at 9am and turns out she had gone to work at 6:30am and her mom had him the whole morning and she never said anything. Exchanges are supposed to be at Starbucks near my house but she got out of it by making me go to her place to pick up from her mom. Of course i wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and that i was keeping the kid for makeup time....but instead i just stated it the way i did below. She was just stalling or farking with me.....here's how it went down....







    The last pic......baby has had few ear infections....she had made appt for baby to see ENT doctor I know next week but I have to work that day. I asked ENT to squeeze me in this week, and his office called my ex to confirm without me knowing cuz her phone number was on file...so she asked me about it. A few hours later i respond....at the same time I throw in the Disney cruise....an awesome trip I hope she burns about.

    Keep up the suggestions for this game.

  10. #40
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to alpha communicate with new exwife.

    Baby still sleeping i'll text you when he gets up
    Hey this was a Sh1t Test can't babies wake up and go back to sleep..expect these things sometime have fun with it..
    Here you could have skipped on the baby time or imply that you were aware of the possible foul play even if he was sleeping.
    something along the lines of this.
    Hmm interesting..re
    You know what I'll come for the baby later and spend time with him all year long..

    Also you seem like you want to spend time with the baby almost to the point that you seem eager this is not bad at all but be cautious how you communicate it..almost like even if you don't theres nothing wrong.just have that energy for now.as if you can do without spending time with the baby.Of course hes your son.you will definitely have him.

    and his office called my ex to confirm without me knowing cuz her phone number was on file...so she asked me about it. A few hours later i respond....at the same time I throw in the Disney cruise....an awesome trip I hope she burns about.
    Dude what has this girl really done to you.cancel the disney trip(in ya mind).yep am telling you direct stop implying that its obviously all about you and the baby(more later).tell her you would not go ahead with that anymore.slip or hint in next thread or something or don't talk about it AGAIN.Never be phased by her tests man its a tool for you.

    No you feeling guilty of doing something
    Subliminal jealousy baiter.No woman may answer question like this it shows there something a bit.ATTRACTION.
    your comeback was great and her reply was cuul.Jealousy baiter which a few 'friends' have used with me sometimes unconsciously should never be replied directly.in a nutshell you did well.

    for now we need to capture her attention more.there are a few things i'll suggest you text directly.don't be troubled our goal is very noble.

    Hey x(here name here), i have decided to boycott the trip.i had wanted three to go together but.. decided something else..noticed something about you

    she may like the idea or just feel pressure if she says she wouldn't have gone just write this
    Cuul.well even though it was us inclusive.it was also about the baby.

    OR
    she could just ignore and start a new thread about what you noticed or something
    if she does that tell her you will let her in on it soon
    ex.wil let you in on that soon..got to ..

    why?then you could determine next line of action.

    No matter what you do there may be a few shit tests, get out of the frame of mind she is out to get you and see those as playful and opportunities to..
    i saw the text exchange and you have no excuse.sure she left for work but yh.expect her to be testing you a bit more if you keep showing this side of yourself.


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