I'll paint the picture first....I'm 43 y/o doctor.....she's 35 y/o HB9 Colombian nurse....she is strongly religious, stubborn, type A(like me). We have a 20 month old son...my only child, her second. Other son is 14 y/o going on 9 because of mother's dominant personality. She never had a father figure so she thinks she is it.
Filed for divorce last year June cuz she has anger issues and i dont play that....and just not able to live with each other. Had nasty custody battle that shouldn't have been....her beliefs are baby should be with mother 90% of the time until older. Judge disagreed....I won 50/50 in December. I was pissed off and beta until couple months ago....everything i did she probably thought was me trying to manipulate her....I lashed out to her and her family....and I made plenty of beta anger mistakes cuz she tried to keep my son away from me, but i finally figured it out and went NC. Have been no contact past 2-3 months during end of divorce. Mediation just this week and I manned up and took care of her financially and pretty much gave her what she/her attorneys wanted...even paid her side of mediation before I left, which I didn't have to and she didn't expect. She said "thx u god bless". This whole time during divorce we have only communicated via text or email about the baby....during divorce little comm and even child exchanges are with her mom and she stays in the car....has trouble looking at me. Only yesterday did she allow me to pick him up at her house....but after she left. So the dust is settling but it's still difficult for her to see me.
Yesterday she texts baby has a cold and is running late cuz it's my weekend with him....I say I'll take him to pediatrician and take care of it.....I also say "go do your thing....have a great time this weekend...you deserve it" meaning her divorce party or whatever.
She seems to be letting her guard down....how do I proceed....I still love her.....think it's mutual.... I have not come out and just say it directly. I remember her once saying we could have a relationship after divorce. I'm doing dhv and still NC unless she initiates, which is always about our young son. I'm thinking about short text initiation saying things like "I'm here for you" or stuff to show I care and support her. Id love to just come out and say "i stilll love you" so it's clear....but thats probably wrong. Wondering about a single rose. Don't want to dlv and don't want her to think I'm trying to manipulate her feelings. Like I said, all/most my beta was cuz she tried to take my son away from me.