Girl1: oh, so you are sitting here?
Me: Unfortunately, no. You see, there were two nice young ladies who walked into here and got this table, which happens to be the best in the house and my favorite for my decent exposure to some uv rays. You know, you bear a remarkable resemblance to them
Girl1: We are those girls.
Me: Well would you look at that! You know, for looking so nice and getting a table as equally great, you must be here for a special occasion.
Girl2: Um, yeah, we are celebrating that some of us have graduated.
Me: Some? So I'm guessing you graduated then, and then you didn't (poking fun at the context of the comment)
Girl1: Yeah, no, I did successfully graduate
Me: Oh, nice in what field?
Me: Sweet! I admire you already for being able to go into a field where you utilize all that math that we learned in high school, but will never use again in our lives
Me: Speaking of math, did you know that there are only fifty professions where you can make over $50 an hour? 49 of the 50 require calculus
Girl1: What profession is there where you don't need math to make a ton of money?
Me: Working the corner (prostitution)
Girl2: Not to be rude, but we are here celebrating and we got here early to get a good table, so we want you to go somewhere else and find a table elsewhere.