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Thread: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

  1. #1
    RicoSuaveInTraining is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    My situation is pretty typical here - meeting up with some girls tomorrow night for happy hour at a bar. Trying to avoid the oh-so-typical "What drink do you like?" or "Put it all on my tab!" AFC moves.

    I've read here that it's a HUGE dlv to buy a drink without making her earn it. Okay, I get that - in that case, what're some ideas to make her "earn" it, then?

    Also, I'm sure I'll hear from some of you that it's NEVER a good idea to buy a round of drinks - to that, I say, "NEVER" is a strong word. I've k-closed plenty of times after buying drinks before, though there's always the chance that was just dumb luck. Obviously, it's a sh1t-ton cheaper not to buy anything at all - so how you play it off at a friggin' bar? Say you're a muslim?

    I'd like to add that I intend this to be more of a general question rather than a "specific event/specific girl"-type question. Bars and clubs are everywhere; we've ALL run into this kind of situation before, so I figured it'd be helpful if we had a thread about it somewhere (couldn't find a previous one in the search I ran).

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    I always tell them I never buy a girl a drink unless I have kissed them before. Tell them it's your policy. If they peck you on the cheek just say, " Hey mom, I am a big boy now don't kiss me in public." Then tell her, "I knew you couldn't kiss well. I just knew it "

    Then she will comply and you will get a great kiss with keno, If she doesn't you have saved yourself some $$. Most of all you dhv.

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    Haha! Good one Dave.

    Rico, in regards to conversation, the below example integrates hostage negotiator techniques.

    Beta - "Can I get you a drink?"

    Alpha - (after a lengthy conversation after getting her to reveal what she does or her ambitions). "I gotta admit, I'm pretty impressed. There's not too many women that XXXXXX. I'm going to get us some drinks because I enjoy talking to you and there are some things I want to ask you."

    It's just simple phrasing that can make a huge difference and communicates the following.

    1) She is earning this drink because I find her interesting.
    2) By telling her "there are some things I want to ask you" She is the one who has to answer my questions and demonstrate whether she is worthy of more of my time and interest. Your are turning the tables here. She needs to impress you now.
    3)"BECAUSE there is some things I want to ask you" - a persuasion tactic that gives her a reason why our conversation needs to continue. This will spark her curiosity of what does the guy want to know.

    This is even more effective if used as a follow up after a cold read. She will be impressed that you are a perceptive thoughtful person.

    Some gold diggers, socialites, or alpha females will sometimes Sh1t Test you and here are some of the things I tell them.

    HER: "Care to buy a lady a drink?"
    ME: "I'll buy MY lady a drink."
    HER: (She may say she could be or some variant)
    ME: "So tell me. What are your three best qualities?"

    (Turn the tables on her, make her audition, and at the same time change the topic of the conversation into another direction. Thanks to my friend Hank for this one.)

    HER: "Are you going to buy me a drink?"
    ME: "Buy you a drink!? Is that your way of getting into my pants? Hell, I'm not that easy. You gotta buy me dinner first."

    You are right. NEVER is too strong of a word. But on the same token, never feel you ever have to buy a woman a drink to impress her.

  4. #4
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    Quote Originally Posted by dave_xxx View Post
    I always tell them I never buy a girl a drink unless I have kissed them before. Tell them it's your policy. If they peck you on the cheek just say, " Hey mom, I am a big boy now don't kiss me in public." Then tell her, "I knew you couldn't kiss well. I just knew it "

    Then she will comply and you will get a great kiss with keno, If she doesn't you have saved yourself some $$. Most of all you dhv.
    This sounds awesome... I have to try this.. ty
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    Buying drinks is not bad but you seem to feel the urge to do it on some level.if you have been talking to a girl for hours and you decide to buy drinks its ok.it sometimes depends on where you are coming from if you feel the need don't oblige.on earning it say she reveals.. as stated and you yourself want a drink then why not buy.but if in the first moments of interaction nope.

  6. #6
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    callmemister is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    use the "5 questions" game man! It's simple, quick and you win 99% of the time.

    Setting it up is tricky if you're a noob, but definitely works like a charm if done properly.

    Premise/rules:
    She needs to answer 5 rapid-fire questions with a lie. If she manages to answer each question with a lie, she wins a drink. If she says the truth at any point, she must buy you a drink. No excuses. I won't use this game unless we've shaken hands on it I've lost maybe twice thus far.

    The only way this will work is if you genuinely force her to answer quickly; keep in mind that the questions need to be super simple. What you ask is not important, what matters is the speed.

    This example below isn't an actual conversation because the set up will vary from one girl to another, but you should get the jist of it:

    You: you look like a little gambler to me bet you can't even lie to my face without me knowing *you should polish this one a little*
    Her: sure i can
    You: ok --> explain the game. AND GO!

    -----------

    You: what color are my jeans?
    Her: umm... pink
    You: you gotta be quicker than that lady!!! what's my name?
    Her: umm...samantha
    You: better, still slow, umm....what color is my hair?
    Her: red

    AND THIS IS WHERE YOU BREAK HER

    Put on a confused face, add an "ummm" and look like you've lost count and say:

    You: okay, see its not so hard right? you're probably gonna win, damn! help me out here, how many was that so far?

    Her: _________
    *most of the time, she'll say 3, which is the TRUTH, so you WIN*

    IF and only IF she says any other number, which happened afew times, YOU NOW ASK QUESTION NUMBER 5.

    Take a pause, turn your body away and try to act as if you're in disbelief of her ability to lie, then look at her and make her feel like a winner by saying something like:

    You: Damn you nerdball!! You're way too good at this, you've TOTALY played this game before right??

    *make sure you play this up and say it in a very enthousiastic way, it will lower her guard for a split second and she'll definitely mess up*

    Her: No, I swear!!

    ----> BOOM. You win <----

    You: HAHA! You loose! That was my 5th question Guess you're not as clever as I tought you were, I might just have to divorce you.....



    Silly? Absolutely. But heck, you're there to have fun. If you practice your poker face for the two crucial ending questions, you'll win.

    Enjoy the free drinks
    If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live. MLK Jr.

  7. #7
    PrimePickUp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    I prefer not to buy drinks right away because it shows that you are basically a dancing monkey you want them to buy you drinks

    -NickP

  8. #8
    william27 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    Its difficult to figure out when to and when not to buy drinks.

    I would say you can buy a girl a drink after she kisses you.

    it does 2 things:
    1 it shows she has some level of interest/investment
    2 it gets her thinking abt sex, because most girls associate a guy buying drink as the start of foreplay (if they like him)

    Will.

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    Man, so many thread undertakers.

  10. #10
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you buy (or not buy) drinks at a bar the RIGHT way

    I don't buy chicks drinks anymore. I buy myself drinks but instead I do tip my bartenders well given they are hot and I want to flirt with them. This actually gets me free drinks the tipping and the flirting. I do buy chicks drinks but only on a specified date not some floozie I just met.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack


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