This is a question that hopefully Marni can help me with.
Several times, I have met really awesome women, that I would love to pursue long term relationships with, only to find out that they are in serious relationships with other men. Of course, I always test their commitment to these other men, (I used to not do that, until I learned that there are relationships, and 'relationships'), but sometimes they really are serious about these other men. In that case, I don't want to just blow them off, because I genuinely like these women, so they get put into the 'friends' category. They put me in the same category. I always have had a knack for being really good at the friends thing. We always develop very close relationships, and they often say that they feel comfortable telling me things that they have a hard time telling there boyfriends. Which brings me to my question. Many times, these women end up breaking up with their boyfriends. How do I break into the possible dating realm when this happens, and how long should I wait to make my move? I have had too many women who broke up, and I didn't make my move until it was too late, and they were off to their next relationship. Other times I have moved too fast, and they pushed away from me because they were still hurting over the relationship.
I have asked some of them, way after the fact, if they would have been open to the concept of dating me. To a woman, they have said, they would have jumped at the chance, but they didn't realize that I even considered them that way, at the time.
I just don't know how to make the transition between the two realms, and when to make it.
Note: This isn't a generic question about moving from friends to lovers. I know better than to get stuck in the friends category unless there are extentuating circumstances like what I have mentioned previously.