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  • 1 Post By blackflash234
  • 1 Post By mackdaddyjacK

Thread: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

  1. #1
    blackflash234 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    I have this problem approaching women to start a conversation which then leads to getting her number. Once I actually approach a woman, I'm able to have a solid conversation which then leads to the number but the thought of approaching a beautiful woman is killing me man. There have been countless times where beautiful women just pass me by and I'm either just sitting or standing there giving myself reasons not to approach them. I've tried everything to overcome this Approach Anxiety. I'm even going indirect which I'm good at and there's no pressure but it still isn't enough. If I had it my way and I was fearless, I'd approach every single woman during my day that I thought was pretty. Nothing is pushing or motivating me to go out and take that step and start a conversation. The only reason why I've gotten the numbers with the few women I've approached and closed a great amount of them was because they were hot but not intimidating to look at. Usually, I go the indirect route which works great for me in day game where I ask for directions to a place where the street don't even intersect and we're both left standing there shaking out heads laughing at how we have no idea where this place is. And after we've figured out a made up address, I introduce myself with a handshake and I start teasing her about something. Then I go in for the close and women are pretty receptive. But the approaching thing is killing me man. What can I do?

  2. #2
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    It's not the fear of rejection we suffer it's the fear of regret. Once you conquer that you will master your aa. You say you approached them because you weren't intimidated by their looks but I say you did it because you didn't lack confidence and did what your heart told you to do.

    I have the same issue with AA. I have made 69 approaches but almost everyone was because I decided beforehand on going out to approach and it masked my AA and my approaches weren't always so fearless rarely if ever.

    To get there you speak of approaching on a dime on any broad that crosses your path which could be done with some mad skills. I'll let you know if I pull it off. That's a pretty big challenge because out of my 69 approaches I still backed out of 13 and regret it immensely. I will try to approach every set that catches my eye and stop all these excuses of not having time or not being in the mood or not the right venue.

    Truly bogus we should fight this level of insecurity. Closing is far more important than opening but that's a topic for a later time. Your closing has to have so many things transitioning to the close, timebridge for Day 2, Number without being needy, and a follow up statement about a false time constraint. You opener just needs to be fearless, well calibrated, and nicely worded which honestly is a lot less work. I have pulled off a few fearless approaches with well calibrated openers but it's much harder to nail down that closing I tell ya.

    Either way in the end you just need to decide to throw caution to the wind and just approaching to open every girl you find interesting. That's why we go out and practice so that one day our fear of regret (not approaching) will go away since that fear is stronger than the actual fear of the approach (rejection). Hope to take this challenge upon myself not just next weekend but every chance I get, like always ready that's the hard part to nail down like you said.

    Because when we realize there is always a way to calibrate after the fact we will run to these openers, follow women around so not so creepy or awkward openers, well timed nonchalant openers, killer openers, good openers, etc.

    I can't tell you how bad that HB10 at the Bar hated my opener. She hated it so bad she sh!t tested me the entire night to see if I could recover and because I never did she rejected me. Not often I get rejected for a bad opener but sometimes I do, they're out there. So once you realize you personally must do nothing to overcome your AA you will start doing something. The only person that's responsible is yourself. Once we harness the power of self-control AA will be a walk in the park. Closing on the other hand takes well thought out routines to get the interaction to the next level.

  3. #3
    blackflash234 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    Man I feel you, the thought of rejection is probably worse then being rejected itself. It's only up to me to continue to gain experience to help mask this fear. Thanks man, appreciate it!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    Start with indirect opinion openers. You will rarely get rejected when you open. Once you have gotten over aa then you can start to work the game. The more approaches you do the faster the AA will begin to disappear.

    An opener can be as basic as asking, "Hey, which way is the XYZ Mall? " Once she gives you the directions then try to prolong the conversation by observing something about her.

    Face your fears with baby steps. Why? You don't learn to swim by diving into the deep end. Other guys here like to go hardcore but I am a very strong believer in starting light and working my way up when it came to learning the game. Going hardcore and getting rejected hardcore will crush a lot of guys not all but quite a few to the point where going sexless seems better than getting rejected.

    So start with the baby steps and work your way up so rejection seems like kids play.

    Once you are over your AA and fear of rejection then you can go Direct Game.

  5. #5
    blackflash234 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    Thanks Dave! With the feedback you both have given me, I definitely feel more confident going out and talking to women. I need to definitely stop trying to hit homeruns and start of with bunt singles then work my way up to hopefully the grand slam.

    Baseball terminology lol. I like baseball

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How Can I Overcome Severe Approach Anxiety

    Hey baseball is all about fundamentals. Singles and doubles lead to a lot of runs scored. A walk to first base can lead to scoring.


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