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  1. #1
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default Article: 3 Big Dating Mistakes

    I just pulled together this article and I wanted to share it with you:

    Are you making these mistakes with women?

    One of the hardest things for a man to do is to approach a woman and start a conversation. And most guys don't know about the potential MINEFIELD they're walking into so that they can avoid blowing themselves up.

    Here are 3 things guys do that creep a woman out and KILL a woman's attraction - and how to avoid them. I consider these the dating tips for men that guys are never taught...


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 1) Getting too physical too fast.

    Ooh, this one is a big mistake, and it's easy to make.

    When we see a hot woman, let's face it, the first thing we wonder is how she feels. Her skin looks so smooth, and her body so... mmmm.

    If you start to get TOO touchy-feely with her too quick, you'll freak her out. She'll think you're creepy.

    BUT if you don't touch her at all, you run the risk of her thinking of you as just a potential 'friend.'

    The dating secret here is to simply touch her on the arm just BEFORE you say anything to her. This gets her attention, AND it triggers her interest in a different way so that she pays attention.

    If she suspects that your touching her is a bit on the "perv" side, she's going to feel immediately repulsed. So keep it brief, and YOU have to be the one to take it away FIRST.

    Remember, leave her wanting more, instead of feeling like "Whoah, that's enough..."


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 2) Showing her too much interest too quickly - through body language, expression, etc. (When it looks like you need her approval.)

    One of the most common methods guys have for approaching women is to walk up with a compliment for her. We assume that this is the best technique because she'll be flattered and instantly open up to us.

    The reality is quite different.

    If a woman gets a compliment as the first thing out of your mouth, here is what she's thinking:

    "Uh-oh... he's going to want something from me. Probably my phone number or a date."

    And so she goes on "alert" and her defenses are up. "This is a guy looking to GET from me…"

    (This is a vital part of dating advice for men that gets missed all the time - how a woman's defenses get triggered by these small things...)

    Giving her a compliment too soon, or in the wrong way is like telling her you're a "needy" guy that will soon smother her. Or is just trying a simple and transparent trick of flattery to sneak into the vault...

    The best method is to approach women with a relaxed look, and a question for her that will immediately grab her interest and bypass her defenses. The less she thinks you're "hitting on her" and instead sees an "interesting guy," the more likely you are to get her number or her email.

    (Always ask for her email or how to find her on Facebook. Women almost never refuse this request...)


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 3) Talking about the future - with her.

    This is one that's amazingly easy to do, even if you might be thinking this is something you'd never do.

    Example: You approach a woman, you start a good conversation, and then you start "selling" her on a date by telling her you want to take her to this great restaurant and...

    SCREEEEEECH.

    Stop right there. She's going to get weirded out by that talk when she's just met you. The ONLY thing you need to do is sell the next step - getting her number or contact info. Anything else is going to trigger alarms.

    If you haven't brought this woman to a fever-pitch of excitement over you, your best bet is to simply get her excited at the prospect of re-connecting "somehow" with you.

    UNLESS you have a really solid connection with her, and you get an indication from her that she's interested, like a touch on the arm. Then you should set the time and place to meet again right there. It's the kind of bold action that she will appreciate.

    And even when you're on a date with a woman, you need to avoid talking about the future as if she's in it. This sounds too pushy and clingy.

    "Hey, this weekend we can go to this bar and..."

    WHOAH.

    Finish THIS date first. Bring her excitement and interest in you UP, and then you can go for the next date later on because it will be a slam-dunk.

    Fast future plans scare her off because you're showing your desperation to "lock something in." Ironically, the less definite you make the future, and the more she feels like things are just "happening" the more she will be attracted to you.

    It will feel "natural."

    Do you find yourself making these mistakes, even if only in small ways with women?
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.

  2. #2
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by carlosxuma View Post
    I just pulled together this article and I wanted to share it with you:

    Are you making these mistakes with women?

    One of the hardest things for a man to do is to approach a woman and start a conversation. And most guys don't know about the potential MINEFIELD they're walking into so that they can avoid blowing themselves up.

    Here are 3 things guys do that creep a woman out and KILL a woman's attraction - and how to avoid them. I consider these the dating tips for men that guys are never taught...


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 1) Getting too physical too fast.

    Ooh, this one is a big mistake, and it's easy to make.

    When we see a hot woman, let's face it, the first thing we wonder is how she feels. Her skin looks so smooth, and her body so... mmmm.

    If you start to get TOO touchy-feely with her too quick, you'll freak her out. She'll think you're creepy.

    BUT if you don't touch her at all, you run the risk of her thinking of you as just a potential 'friend.'

    The dating secret here is to simply touch her on the arm just BEFORE you say anything to her. This gets her attention, AND it triggers her interest in a different way so that she pays attention.

    If she suspects that your touching her is a bit on the "perv" side, she's going to feel immediately repulsed. So keep it brief, and YOU have to be the one to take it away FIRST.

    Remember, leave her wanting more, instead of feeling like "Whoah, that's enough..."


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 2) Showing her too much interest too quickly - through body language, expression, etc. (When it looks like you need her approval.)

    One of the most common methods guys have for approaching women is to walk up with a compliment for her. We assume that this is the best technique because she'll be flattered and instantly open up to us.

    The reality is quite different.

    If a woman gets a compliment as the first thing out of your mouth, here is what she's thinking:

    "Uh-oh... he's going to want something from me. Probably my phone number or a date."

    And so she goes on "alert" and her defenses are up. "This is a guy looking to GET from me…"

    (This is a vital part of dating advice for men that gets missed all the time - how a woman's defenses get triggered by these small things...)

    Giving her a compliment too soon, or in the wrong way is like telling her you're a "needy" guy that will soon smother her. Or is just trying a simple and transparent trick of flattery to sneak into the vault...

    The best method is to approach women with a relaxed look, and a question for her that will immediately grab her interest and bypass her defenses. The less she thinks you're "hitting on her" and instead sees an "interesting guy," the more likely you are to get her number or her email.

    (Always ask for her email or how to find her on Facebook. Women almost never refuse this request...)


    Dating Tips for Men MISTAKE 3) Talking about the future - with her.

    This is one that's amazingly easy to do, even if you might be thinking this is something you'd never do.

    Example: You approach a woman, you start a good conversation, and then you start "selling" her on a date by telling her you want to take her to this great restaurant and...

    SCREEEEEECH.

    Stop right there. She's going to get weirded out by that talk when she's just met you. The ONLY thing you need to do is sell the next step - getting her number or contact info. Anything else is going to trigger alarms.

    If you haven't brought this woman to a fever-pitch of excitement over you, your best bet is to simply get her excited at the prospect of re-connecting "somehow" with you.

    UNLESS you have a really solid connection with her, and you get an indication from her that she's interested, like a touch on the arm. Then you should set the time and place to meet again right there. It's the kind of bold action that she will appreciate.

    And even when you're on a date with a woman, you need to avoid talking about the future as if she's in it. This sounds too pushy and clingy.

    "Hey, this weekend we can go to this bar and..."

    WHOAH.

    Finish THIS date first. Bring her excitement and interest in you UP, and then you can go for the next date later on because it will be a slam-dunk.

    Fast future plans scare her off because you're showing your desperation to "lock something in." Ironically, the less definite you make the future, and the more she feels like things are just "happening" the more she will be attracted to you.

    It will feel "natural."

    Do you find yourself making these mistakes, even if only in small ways with women?
    Yes. I committed all 3 faults with the girl I took out on a date with last year. I crashed and burned. I'm controlling #2 right now but I just don't know how much dosage of interest I should be showing her. As for #1 this one gets real hard as I tend to fall into the "never touch" category. With my current case in FR spinning on a new twist, trying to not show too much interest yet touching her will be a difficult task. I'll try things out slowly and see what happens. Thanks for these tips!

  3. #3
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default

    The key to interest is that you give and you taketh away. The more you can go between the opposite poles - without looking erratic or crazy - the more she'll wonder about you.

    Most guys come on too strong. This will be a refreshing pace for her.

    Try that...
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.

  4. #4
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default

    #2 is dead on. Nothing kills attraction faster than approval seeking combined with showing her how much you are into her.. I mean she hasn't even done anything to deserve your affection / interest, yet you are showering her with affection. That just destroys any attraction she may have for you.

    Remember, humans like things that they have to work for. It is just how we are wired.

    ~Bill

  5. #5
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default

    And it's interesting, because humans often make the mistake that if we just make it "easier" for the person to get us, that they'll immediately want us because of it. When, in fact, only the extremely desperate will take what comes too easy...

    I struggled with that one for years before having a breakthrough on it...
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.

  6. #6
    Lighter Guest

    Default

    Ok, i have a question about the first mistake. You said simply touch her arm just before you say anything to her so is that like when i have never met her before and i approach her? I would simple touch her arm with my finger tips for a second and spit out my question for interest?

  7. #7
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default

    Yep. That's it.

    Just for a split second. No longer....
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.


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