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  1. #1
    incognito Guest

    Exclamation Your thoughts: Am I "dead in the water" with this one? Comebacks?

    So here is the story thus far. Over at the local college met this girl in my class. Have had about 5 or 6 classes so far. Got her number two weeks ago. I did this by getting her away from the "class" group by getting her to go to the drink machine. Bought her a water (which she got me back for the next class) and she hugged me being all happy. Touched her on the lower back since some touching was going on then got the number. She told me she was surpised I didn't ask for her number sooner. I didn't say this to her but I got to admit I might have if she didn't leave class early so much to go to work. So, I ask her to go out and do something and she said her schedule is super busy and won't have time until wednesday two weeks later (that wednesday is tomorrow). I told her I don't plan that far ahead but maybe we could work something out.

    Pausing the story for a second here, my style is to not ask for numbers if I know I am going to be seeing the girl again somewhere such as the next class. So generally, I will ask them to do something with me and then get the number so I already have a reason in advance to talk to them on the phone. To me, just getting a number for the sake of getting a number is pointless to me unless you feel you will not see them again otherwise.

    Back to the story, I text her on the weekend and she tells me she is working on homework and gym. Blah blah blah. I ask her to get some coffee with me and she says she will if she has time. This is a clue to me that something must have gone wrong or maybe she is just legitimately busy.

    Fast forward to yesterday. We text a few messages. She tells me she is busy with homework then gym. Blah Blah. I ask her what gym she goes to and tell her I'm looking to take martial arts classes. She tells me they don't offer MA at her gym so I tell her most don't and then ask her in the same text if she would like to get together on her next day off (I know her day off is on Tuesday or Wednesday this week). Then the line goes dead. No response.

    I know the rule is do not text back until you get a reply. I will be seeing her later this week in class. I feel I have at least a chance for a comeback (or to get back on track).

    Any suggestions? Thoughts? Am I working too much on this one?

  2. #2
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default

    Just my 2 cents here. This sounded like me before entering this PUA forum and learning about Mystery and the Natural style. I think the mistake you've made here was giving her too much attention. I asked the girl I liked before 3 times to go out with me and she kept telling me she has dance classes and homework.. yadi yadi ya. If you hold it any tighter than it already is, she feels you're too easy and will lose interest. Try to relax a little and be a bit more laid back. Then, when you guys meet tell her more about parts of your life that would make her feel that she's missed out on. This is where the attraction can be rebuilt.

  3. #3
    incognito Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery_wannabe View Post
    Just my 2 cents here. This sounded like me before entering this PUA forum and learning about Mystery and the Natural style. I think the mistake you've made here was giving her too much attention. I asked the girl I liked before 3 times to go out with me and she kept telling me she has dance classes and homework.. yadi yadi ya. If you hold it any tighter than it already is, she feels you're too easy and will lose interest. Try to relax a little and be a bit more laid back. Then, when you guys meet tell her more about parts of your life that would make her feel that she's missed out on. This is where the attraction can be rebuilt.
    I think you are right that I need to just relax and be a little more laid back.

  4. #4
    incognito Guest

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    Got an update here:

    So she texts me earlier today saying she does not have days off lol ... and that she fell asleep in the parking lot at the gym around 6 yesterday from allergy meds and that she decided to call it a day.

    haha whatever...I find her timing a little unusual cuz she has told me she usually wakes up around 2pm so this would be very early for her to be texting me...I think I am gonna wait a few hours and text her back playing off her lines a bit
    Last edited by incognito; 10-20-2009 at 03:23 PM.

  5. #5
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by incognito View Post
    Got an update here:

    So she texts me earlier today saying she does not have days off lol ... and that she fell asleep in the parking lot at the gym around 6 yesterday from allergy meds and that she decided to call it a day.

    haha whatever...I find her timing a little unusual cuz she has told me she usually wakes up around 2pm so this would be very early for her to be texting me...I think I am gonna wait a few hours and text her back playing off her lines a bit
    lol.. you haven't seen the worse yet. I remember I called the girl I liked before (Let's call her exHB for sake of referencing) and she would tell me that she's busy doing homework when I can clearly hear the TV running in the background. If it sounds illogical then she's probably pushing you back at this point. This means either she's begun losing interest in you or you're moving too fast. Good luck. I hope you win her back.
    Last edited by Mystery_wannabe; 10-20-2009 at 06:04 PM.

  6. #6
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Next time she texts you about wanting to get together 'sometime', but how she is busy, you just need to tell her, that your very busy and you don't have time for her bs. Tell her to text you when she is ready to make an effort. Hopefully that will bring her around.

  7. #7
    incognito Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnglory View Post
    Next time she texts you about wanting to get together 'sometime', but how she is busy, you just need to tell her, that your very busy and you don't have time for her bs. Tell her to text you when she is ready to make an effort. Hopefully that will bring her around.
    I like this idea. How much time do you think I should give before attempting to push it to a "closeout"?

  8. #8
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by incognito View Post
    I like this idea. How much time do you think I should give before attempting to push it to a "closeout"?

    I wouldn't push at all. If she doesn't pay any attention to you even when you say this, chances are, it's not going to workout even if you push it. In this case, let it go and try to find someone else.

  9. #9
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    ^ Spoken like a true PUA...

  10. #10
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery_wannabe View Post
    I wouldn't push at all. If she doesn't pay any attention to you even when you say this, chances are, it's not going to workout even if you push it. In this case, let it go and try to find someone else.
    That's definitely the correct advice.

    This kinda goes with your other main thread Incognito. You don't want to appear as if you are supplicating or needy. If she doesn't want to give you the time of day, or she keeps flaking, you need to call her on that BS. If she doesn't realize that she needs to prove herself to you (because as a PUA you are a selective, high value man, and obviously would never take low hanging fruit, because you have values), then you drop her. There are other fish in the sea.

    If you're thinking right now that the part in the parenthesis isn't you, you're missing the point. That is what you need to become, and what image you need to always project.


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