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  1. #1
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default Are you picky enough? Maybe not...

    Hey, I found this on a yahoo article page. Very interesting find about the role of effort in gender selection. It's written for women, but it's interesting for guys to know how this works.

    Check it out:


    Why Taking Initiative Will Score You the Guy You Really Want

    On our quest to figure out what works (and doesn't) when it comes to meeting men we like, we tend to make very crude gender generalizations. For example, men are shameless w----s who find all women desirable, while ladies are finicky and particular, only accepting dates and sexual invitations from men who fit what they want long-term.

    But what if those assumptions aren't due to biology, but to socialization? A recent study by Finkel & Eastwick revealed that dating might be very different if we didn't expect guys to be "men of action," asking for our number, inviting us out, initiating the kiss. If women were the ones doing the approaching and the choosing, perhaps we would be happier with the men we met.

    The team tracked 350 college students taking part in speed dating. Traditionally the men get up and circulate the girls (women mustn't move, they have purses, the researchers explain) and when this was the case the men were consistently more smitten with the girls. However, when women were forced to get up and make the rounds, while men sat and looked pretty, the opposite was true.

    The researchers found that the speed daters who approached their partners relative to those who stayed sitting would experience a greater romantic desire and chemistry toward their partners, and were more likely to respond, 'Yes, I would see this person again' to their partners. In other words, the people who rotated from person to person were less selective than those sitting, regardless of which gender was doing the rotating.

    So what can we glean from this? That if we aren't finding any good men it's perhaps because we're not pursuing enough of them? Speed-dating scholars (didn't know those existed, did ya?) aren't jumping to conclusions, except to say that more research is needed to determine if choosiness is gendered or not. In the meantime, we're going with the best of both worlds: actively pursuing a lot of men, so we're likely to find one we like, and assuming that most men find us attractive (a little self-confidence can't hurt, right).
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.

  2. #2
    Nocturnatum Guest

    Default

    TBH I find this article fun to read. I can imagine how interesting the experiment went and would love to find out results of more. However, I find that there are women out there who do the approaching and many times it's with reason. I have had women come and make conversation with me under the guise that they're interested in me because I have a hobby of taking photographs (after doing several nightclub events). This lead me to believe that if women have a valid reason to approach they will try their best to make conversation with you to find out more and half the time they will talk about themselves or something completely different, usually asking for your number or to take theirs.
    Contrary to that reason though my friend, who is a sports type of guy tends to get women around him quite often because of his appearance. He naturally gives the alpha male persona to women because of his size. In a social setting he is very calm and confident because he likes to box and is confident in himself. Women notice this and tend to 'float' around him. Notice the words I used to describe what they do though. They stand around setting off proximity warnings and constantly give AI's until we either approach them or they get tired of waiting. Sometimes they'll approach us but I find it is less often.
    I believe that if a woman finds you attractive and she has a valid reason for approaching you then she will.

  3. #3
    carlosxuma's Avatar
    carlosxuma is offline PUA Forums Alpha Male
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    Default

    That's an interesting observation. Something I've seen is that women tend to use the "I'm approaching you because I'm interested in you" as their disguise and reason to talk to men, in effect using their sexuality as a secret key to get what they want from men. Whereas men do the opposite - we hide our sexual intent to get what we want.

    Interesting, isn't it?
    Carlos Xuma. PUA Forums Official Bad Boy<br />
    <a href="http://www.puaforums.com/go.php?id=badboy"><s trong>Become The Bad Boy</strong></a> That Women Love.

  4. #4
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by carlosxuma View Post
    That's an interesting observation. Something I've seen is that women tend to use the "I'm approaching you because I'm interested in you" as their disguise and reason to talk to men, in effect using their sexuality as a secret key to get what they want from men. Whereas men do the opposite - we hide our sexual intent to get what we want.

    Interesting, isn't it?

    I think it has to do with the attraction paradigm the different genders use to qualify each other.

    Men, tend to want to qualify women. Therefore, if a women gives us an easy reason to like her, we have a nasty tendency to jump all over it.

    Women tend to try to try to disqualify men (largely due to the fact that they have to be selective because there are so many men chasing them. See previous tenet). Therefore, if we reveal too much about ourselves too soon, we give them ample things to find fault with.

  5. #5
    Morrisb is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Are you picky enough? Maybe not...

    I'm going to start being more selective. I don't mind getting shot down. But, it's feels pointless coming from the non 10's.


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