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  • 1 Post By Nikee

Thread: She is hot and cold, need advice

  1. #1
    PUcowboy's Avatar
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    Default She is hot and cold, need advice

    Okay kind of following up on my last post, been a few days so ill just give a short background, if you want the whole thing you can read my last thread. So met this girl, we used to talk, it abruptly ended, months later now I have started texting her again, and she seems to like talking to me. Her friends have said she is different from other girls, as in has a really cold personality. I have seen some of this, for example she doesn't flirt back directly, she acknowledges my flirting and seems to like it, but I want to figure out what it will take to get her really interested. Any of you guys met a girl like this? here are my last text messages, like I said my other conversation is on my other post.
    me: so I was driving to my house from work, and see this dude walking down the street, wearing a hoodie, its 100 degrees

    her: maybe hes cold haha

    me: I think you could cook eggs on the sidewalk, its supposed to be 108 Saturday!

    her: eww that's way to hot

    me: I know, its hot. I guess you will have to bring me a lot of cold drinks then

    her: who said I was bringing you drinks..?

    me: how else am I going to cool off?

    her: umm bring your own drinks haha

    me: I cant do your job, that would just be mean

    her: who said that was my job

    me: nobody did but what other job would you want

    her: none haha

    me: haha well you have to stay busy somehow

    her: nahh haha theres no need for that

    and then I try to change the subject cause like I said, I don't know what to say to get this girl to open up

    me: haha gotcha, so whats up?

    her: nothing just watching tv

    blah blah blah, then I turn the conversation to saying we need to meet up, because until school starts back up again im working 7 hrs away from her, so I say we can meet in san Antonio, half way for both of us, and we can float the river

    her: that's a long drive

    me: not too bad of a drive like I was saying, its a idea

    her: no but it is that bad

    me: haha oh your just complaining! well I think im going to stick to my original plan

    her: haha okayy wehatever you say

    me: now your getting it haha

    her: whatevs

    me: oh darn, for a second I thought you had a sense of humor ;p
    her: oh hush haha

    me: (; well ill say goodnight, your welcome for making you smile
    her: haha goodnight!


    Has anyone seen a girl like this before, what am I doing right/ wrong, I feel a good vibe, but definitely want more, also I always text her first

  2. #2
    Lancelot's Avatar
    Lancelot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    I'm not an expert on particularly cold women; however I have been talking to one. It's not that she's cold, she's just independent and safeguarded in terms of opening up to others. I like her fire so I've kept it alive. Recently I went a week without saying a word to her, and that worked pretty well- she initiated a conversation and asked me where I'd been. I think it's a push/pull situation with more push than pull. Sounds like from your description you've been doing quite a bit of pull. Just some thoughts.

  3. #3
    Unstoppable is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    You were pretty humorous for the most part.

    And yet, as Lancelot said, you did pull a lot.

    The best, responses I thought you got were after you pushed with the "Oh darn..." comment.

    3 and a half hour drive is a pretty big distance haha keep up the good work!

  4. #4
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    also I always text her first
    Don't ALWAYS initiate the convo, nine times out of ten she will take you for granted and you will become predictable. Remember YOU are the prize not her, and she should be trying to win you. Like mystery say "there is no bitchy girl, if she is not responding the way you want her to, then you must be doing something wrong" revise your approach, but definitely stop texting first all the time, again "to win her you've got to be willing to lose her".
    Good luck.
    Nikee --Just did it--

  5. #5
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    I always like to "stir the hornets nest" so to speak when things are bland or shes just talking normal....in general. I dont know what to say particularly in your situation because I dont know the girl personally, which would better put the scope on what to say and to what degree.

    You know

    U:Hey whats yup?
    H:Not to much just watching TV.
    U:Really? Hows honey boo boo looking (Idk accuse her of watching something stupid)....

    Now if she said:
    H:Im watching a really good show....
    U:Oh yeah? How much skin is showing on them?
    (or insert something else accusing them slying of watching something "mature") but I wouldnt recommend this unless you know you can say that and she wont think your a creep.

    U:So your working?
    H:Yeah its boring at work right now.
    U:Oh yeah hows facebook looking?, or Hows it feel sitting in the chair getting paid to text me right now? (Anything slick to flame/stir things up)

    I know sometimes if things are a bit stale, or not heating up too much Ill see if I can traverse to a call over text....Ill hint usually, cause some girls like their privacy i.e dont want people listening on them talking to some guy dirty/personally, live with parents w/e. Or Id just tell them to give me a call here in a few after ending on a high note via text..make up some excuse if you cant declare them to a call instead of coming out and asking(if you want to obey those rules about asking/telling)...."I cant text right now my arthritis is kicking in from this texting with you, give me a call".....or what I use legit truthfully is hey "Im at work and getting off here to drive home, give me a call later when your free" and we can continue, use this especially after ending on a high note....never been denied....

    Im not saying my texting game sucks, but sometimes and often I prefer getting it over to vocal conversation since texting is sometimes boring or "perspective" wise sometimes. That saying maybe you can pull the response you want better via voice then texting, but thats all up to you personally.

  6. #6
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    So, instead of actually creating attraction you are constantly giving her DLVs? Sounds productive and effective.

    To quote:

    "U:So your working?
    H:Yeah its boring at work right now.
    U:Oh yeah hows facebook looking?, or Hows it feel sitting in the chair getting paid to text me right now?"

    This pretty much sounds like you're calling her your bitch. It's much better a cocky funny approach such as: "Next time, I'll secretly jump on your bag! Work will stop being boring by then. Deal?"

    You want to suggest her ways of being with you, not criticising her likes or dislikes ffs
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  7. #7
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    To OP, if it's too much trouble, it's not worth your time. You can't force attraction. Or even if you can, why would you when there are so many women out there that are already attracted?
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  8. #8
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She is hot and cold, need advice

    Man I'll thank everyone for the replies to this past I had this problem before with a girl and I still kinda do. All I can say is keep up the work your doing but go through her friends or post shoot on social media to prove that you have more value than her. thanks for all the help tho.


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