Hey guys! Ok, this is my first proper post here so I thought I'd make it a good one. This is an article I wrote a few months ago about stopping moving girls in the street. I hope you guys like it - I always appreciate your feedback - so let me know if you have any ideas regarding this article. Enjoy!
Approaching Moving Sets in the Street (Direct)
I have a confession to make:
I have really bad night-game. I find it hard even opening at night. Me and my friends regularly host nights at Movida, which is where we invite out girls to - so I'm SURROUNDED by girls on our table, who I dance and have fun with. But other hot girls in the club that aren't in our group? I'm terrified of talking to them. I just find the whole environment completely stiffling. I'm intimidated by much better looking, more confident seeming guys, and I always ASSUME hot girls in a nightclub won't be interested in me. So just to clarify - I'm like a complete AFC when it comes to the classic understanding of 'THE GAME' - i.e, approaching and attracting girls in a nightclub environment.
But I am currently dating three HOT girls. Infact, I'm very confident that in a couple of months time, I'll have twice that. By this time next year, I'm VERY VERY confident that I would have found a girl of such high quality that I'll want to have a proper monogomous relationship with her.
"Eh? But I thought you said your game was Sh1t?"
Yup. Wanna know how?
Street game. And not just "excuse me, I'm looking for the nearest treehouse" kind of street-game - I'm talking about DIRECT street-game.
I'm talking about going up to the hottest girls you can find and letting them know straight away that you're interested in them. I'm talking about not really having a clue exactly what you're going to say when you approach, but instead trusting yourself to come up with what is needed in the moment.
I can guarentee you now - if you dedicate yourself to doing what I say to do, battle through all rejections, correcting your mistakes and persevering - you will be in a position where you can date as many hot girls as you like, without using any scripted openers, routines, or gimicks - just being yourself.
Now. Sitting comfortably? Gum? Ok, let's begin.
FORGET ABOUT HOW YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE DONE
Firstly, forget anything you've ever experienced about direct street game. I hear so many people tell me "but I've tried direct, and they just tell you straight away they've got a boyfriend". They probably do. ME. I got there first When I first started doing direct, I got exactly the same response. The difference is I didn't give up. I made a firm decision that DIRECT STREET GAME was what I wanted to do. It's how I've decided to play the game. So I put on my seatbelt, and rode it out, till the bitter end. So forget about any negative experiences you've had TRYING direct street game. You were just doing it wrong. I'm going to tell you how to do it right.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DIRECT AND INDIRECT
When you approach a girl indirectly on the street (ask for directions, a female opinion), you are HIDING your true intentions (that you are interesting in the girl romantically/sexuall). Because of this, the girl isn't considering you as a potential romantic interest, so if you are dressed poorly, have poor body language, clearly don't take care of yourself, and generally sound like an uncalibrated weirdo - 99% of the time she will stop to answer your question, as doing so isn't conveying any romantic or sexual interest towards you. Girls are generally nice, polite people as long as you are nice and polite to them.
Infact, it is impossible to get rejected from going indirect. You can't reject someone HONESTLY asking for a female opinion - infact to do so would actually be quite rude. People get rejected when their intentions ARE unintentially coming through, dispite the indirect verbal communication. So now the girl can reject you, because she is now rejecting what she percieves to be your COVERT advances. If you go indirect, you need to be 100% indirect, so as not to arouse suspicion in the girl. If you are going indirect, but they can TELL that you really have romantic/sexual intentions towards them, it is perseived as WEAK behaviour, because you are clearly too scared of saying what's really on your mind, for fear or rejection.
When you approach a girl directly, you are forcing her to make a second by second decision whether or not she can see you as a potential date/boyfriend/sexual partner. She might reject your straight away, she might listen to you for a few seconds then decide you're not her cup of tea, or you might be talking to her for 10 minutes, give you her number, then when you call, decide not to answer the phone then.
APPROACHING DIRECTLY FROM A POSITION OF HIGH VALUE
If she percieves you as a HIGH VALUE guy, approaching her directly is VERY POWERFUL. If she percieves you as low value, it's not.
Two people could approach a hot girl, say exactly the same thing, but get complete different results. Depending on what is being communicated, you will either be percieves as a high value, confidence, exciting man who isn't afraid to say what's on is mind.... or not.
I'm going to teach you how to come across as high value. It's the classic fake it before you make it thing. Actually BEING high value is your ultimate goal - but this takes time and high value experiences. Infact, alot of guys I have shown this stuff to REALLY ARE high value people. They either don't realise it, or they just FORGET their value when they are in the presence of a hot girl. The only way to combat this is to approach, approach, approach untill you are desensitised to it. Eventually you won't forget your value, you won't be afraid any more. You'll be able to approach the hottest girls, and act with the same confidence as when you talk to your best friend.
Afterall, isn't confidence just the absense of fear?
THIS IS HOW GIRLS WANT TO BE APPROACHED
This is the stuff movies are made of. Every girl I've ever been with who I met using this approach has told me they LOVED the way I approached. They told me they'd never been approached that way. Listen guys - 99.99999% of guys DON'T do this. Dispite what you've heard GIRLS DON'T GET APPROACHED LIKE THIS. Sure, guys try to 'strike up conversation' with hot girls. But NOONE goes straight up and does what I do.
If you do this right, you can forget about DHVing. Your approach is the demonstration of high value.
SO HOW DO IT IN A HIGH VALUE WAY?
They are many things that communicate high value when you do a direct street approach, some of them intangiable. The best way to describe 'that which can't be described', is your VIBE.
1. FASHION & GROOMING
Before you take any pick-up courses or spend ANY money what so ever on material or products - WORK ON YOUR FASHION. The fabrics that you decide to adorn your body with say more about you than you probably know. I girl WILL REJECT YOU, just because you are wearing clothes that communicate low value. This isn't so important for Indirect Game - but for Direct Game it is ESSENTIAL.
When you're selling your house, you are always adviced to spend a few thousand pounds on making it look more presentable, so people will be more likely to buy it, even if the things you are buying won't even be there when you've moved, like plants, furniture and curtains. The point is, potential buyers (with little imagination) come in and make a quick decision based on the FEELING that the house gives them. If you spend a few thousand making the house FEEL like a home, they are far more likely to buy it.
So don't like your fashion be the reason they girl rejects you. Ask the girl later why she didn't stop and talk to you, and she probably won't know.
If you don't know ANYTHING about fashion, then I would strongly advice seeing a professional who does. I did, and the change was staggering. If you don't have any money, then start paying attention to fashion magazines, or getting some advice from any friends who do have really good fashion sense. As a general rule, make sure your clothes are WELL FITTED, and if you're unsure, keep the colours to a minimum. If you like funky, rocky kinda stuff, then go for that kind of look. If you're more of a suave, gentleman type of fello, then go for that kind of look.
DON'T TRY AND DRESS IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T SUIT YOUR PERSONALITY.
This is the hardest thing to master, but with practice it will come. I would describe your vibe as the 'general feeling', or the energy that is coming from you. The coolest guys I know just emit a never ending supply of positivity, self-contentment and joy. We've all spoken to people who aren't really saying anything to turn us off, but there's just SOMETHING about him that communicates an unhappiness, or a deep insecurity that is preventing him from truly expressing himself. His VIBE is just a bit off. In RSD's Blueprint, Tyler says the 'The Self is ALWAYS Coming Through'. This is your vibe. Having the right vibe will get you laid. Naturals don't know game. They just have an awesom vibe.
I've seen people approach, and get blown up. And they're vibe is really.... serious. Not perhaps very negative, but there's just something not quite right. Watching him talk to the girl, there's just a SERIOUSness to him.... I tell him to smile, and he does, but his VIBE is just kinda..... serious. Then later in the day he comes across a really friendly, sexy girl who gives him a really positive response, which REMINDS HIM that he IS actually a cool, high value guy. From this point onwards, every girl he approaches is different. He's not saying anything different before... but his vibe has changed. I can see he is more positive now. He's happier. I can't tell you what it is he's DOING that is making come across this way.... maybe a slight cheeky smile after saying something... maybe it's a glint in his eye - but its because he actually feeling more confident with what he's doing.
He's ACTUALLY ENJOYING talking to this girl.
THAT is the core of what I want you to take from this. You need to learn to ENJOY this. Your vibe needs to communicate that you are a HAPPY person. If you aren't happy, then you need to really focus on why this is. If it's your job, then you need to take time away from pick up and focus on your career, if it's your friends, then you need to take time away from pick-up and focus on finding a better peer group. If it's just the fact that you're single and you wan't a girlfriend - then try and start ENJOYING the process of learning how to talk to girls. This alone will improve your success rate dramatically.
See your vibe as gift-wrapped present that your giving the girl. No girl wants to unwrap it to find a yucky bundle of hatred, anger and self-pity. They want to find a shiny ball of FUN and HAPPINESS.
Figure out a way to make learning pick-up FUN.
3. BODY LANGUAGE
When you approach, you need to use your body in a confident way. Look at the way you stand in the mirror and compare it to the way people like tom cruise stand. The best way to improve your posture and the way you move your body is to pick someone you admire, and model the way they use their body. I have modelled various high value people I've come across on my little journey, not of them famous, but just high value people with good body language. Look at the way they gesture with their hands. Look at the way they stand. Look at the way they talk to people. SERIOUSLY do this. Personally I think this is more beneficial than spending money on any pick-up material.
We all know that your physiology follows your psychology. When someone is depressed, you can tell by the way they are walking and moving. If someone is joyfull and happy, they have a 'spring in their step'. But also a firm believer that your psychology also follows your physiology. If you move your body in 'the way a confident person would move it', I believe you will start to feel more confident. If you slouch and act like a nervious, shy person, I believe you actually start to feel worse. So model body language role models, and start to work on how you use your body.
As a rule I would suggest the following the next time you approach a girl.
- Don't slouch. Make sure you're standing up fairly straight - I like to feel my pecs against the insides of my clothes, this reminds me that my chest is out and i'm standing up straight.
- Son't shift around. Stand solid, rooted to the ground. Any movement should be as an extended expressional gesture, rather than out of nervousness or discomfort.
- Use your hands to gesture. Make a point of using your hands to express yourself more. Also, if your hands are already out of your pockets, gesturing in the air, you only need to gesture a little further to kino the girl quite naturally as part of a gesture.
Ok, this one is a new pick-up technology I have recently invented. I call it smiling. You need to smile when you stop a moving girl! If you don't smile, the chances are she won't stop. Who wants to stop and talk to a miserable person? I definitely don't.
You don't need a cartoon grin, but as a general rule I like to say: "The faster the girl is moving, the bigger the smile you need". So if she's sprinting at fall speed, you need to be laughing histerically. hehe (i'm only half joking).
5. EYE CONTACT
You've all heard the term laser eyes right? Well, when you approach a girl directly on the street, you need to be looking at her directly in the eyes. Don't shift your eyes away and look behind her, or down or to the side as you talk to her. You need to be laser eying her. Imagine her naked, on your bed. Imagine all the things you could be doing to her in just a day or two. It's not STARING.... its a soft, yet focused eye contact that lets her know that you and her and the only things that exist in the moment.
6. VOICE TONE, SPEED & VOLUME
This is one of the biggest sticking points I had to deal with. I have always talked to fast. I don't know why, but it's always been a problem of mine. During a one-on-one with Adam ages ago, the first thing he told me is that I need to slow down how fast I talk, and it's been something that I've been working on ever since.
When you approach a girl, YOU ARE IN NO RUSH TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. The end of 'the opener' isn't the goal. Getting her to stop isn't the goal. The goal is to come across as high value. So when you open, just START TALKING, and starting talking slowly.
Smoothly does it big man.
Just start talking slowly, and you'll be amazed how it changes to whole interaction. You'll actually feel alot calmer and more confident because of this.
If you can sense that she isn't interested in THIS MOMENT, i.e, she begins to slowly walk off - DO NOT speed up in order to FINISH what you were saying in the hope that by finishing what you have to say is going to CONVINCE her to stop. Remember, your VALUE is what is going to make her want to talk to you, NOT what you have to say. So if she starts walking off, CARRY ON talking at exactly the same pace as before.
Talking fast communicates that you are the kind of person that expects people to interupt you at any minute, or that people generally don't listen to you, so you have to get what you have to say out fast, before people lost interest.
People who talk at a leisurly pace, who add pauses into their speech, communicate that they are the kind of people that people LISTEN TO.
Your goal should be to pronounce your words CLEARLY, and confidently, and at a casual, relaxed pace. If there's a pause in the conversation, practice NOT filling it, and EXPECTING her to fill it.
Regarding voice tone - If you talk, you should feel the vibration of your voice in your lower throat and chest. You'll notice that as your tone gets higher, the vibrations go up to your mouth, your nose and even further, depending on how high you go. Raising your voice tone is SEEKING REPORE. Imagine how you walk talk to a gentle granny. You would want to seem as non threatening as possible, so you would raise your voice tone right up to sounds really nice, friendly and agreeable.
When you approach, you want to make a habit of keeping your voice tone down to a chest area. This is very important. Going direct on a girl with a lower voice range will communicate exptremely high value as you are not seeking repore. If you say the same thing to a girl, but your raise your voice tone as you say it, it will communicate to the girl that you are WANT HER APPROVAL for your approach. Your saying "I like you - is that ok?", rather than "I like you, and i dont give a fark what you think of that." (don't actually say this! haha)