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Thread: One big problem

  1. #1
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default One big problem

    My one big problem is talking to women while there are other people around. ( my mind just keeps telling me that they are listening and laughing or whatever). So how do I get over it? ( it's not technically Approach Anxiety.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: One big problem

    I can personally relate to this problem from experience, this used to be a big problem of mine aswell, always used to feel like i was being judged not just by my target, but everyone else around her aswell.

    The truth of the matter is, a girl is always going to be more defensive when there are other people around, as she doesnt want to seem easy etc. If you get nervous or stage fright because you have a bit of an audience, the target will pick this up instantly and it wont be in your favour.
    You need to engage the whole audience to win the target over, dont think of it is you gaming your target, because then you will get nervous, just think of it as making friends, chat to her friends and show a lot of interest in them and this way when you start your magic on the target her friends wont pester/drag her away and you will feel much more comfortable talking to her.
    Ultimately to progress you want to aim for Isolation, which can be done it many ways. Kino and building rapport can be done easily in a group, but kissing and number closing is much easier alone. Either ask if she wants to help you get drinks or whatever.
    Hopes this helps

    -Zeus
    Wise men don't need advice, Fools wont take it - Benjamin Franklin

    Stick a 50 note onto your forehead and talk to a stripper.. If you can get her to not think about the note, you are gold.

  3. #3
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: One big problem

    She didn't have friends around her. I went to a school for my physical for soccer. It was just a lot of middle aged adults ( i'm a teenager) that brought there kids in for their physicals too. So it was pretty weird
    Last edited by KristiBell; 08-15-2013 at 07:31 AM.
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: One big problem

    "Imagine as if they are naked." This is an old saying which applies to many sports with a huge audience involved. (Don't get turned on though lol)

    It's silly & funny but I'm sure you can optimize it according to your situation.

    Basically, it's your game and your life. You can't get affected by outer validation. It's like the first rule of being an alpha. No matter how weird it feels, you go out there and you get the girl.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: One big problem

    man, the truth is, that you are making a big deal out of nothing. I understand that you are insecure and young I was there myself a few years back) but seriously, people are going to here your conversations and maybe they'll get a laugh out of it, but what does it matter? I mean do you really care THAT much about what people think of you? in the end what they think ultimately doesn't matter, your always going to have people who don't quite understand you and your always going to have people who will criticize you because of it. just don't let some ones criticism get in the way of your success
    Last edited by KristiBell; 08-15-2013 at 07:32 AM.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: One big problem

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    My one big problem is talking to women while there are other people around. ( my mind just keeps telling me that they are listening and laughing or whatever). So how do I get over it? ( it's not technically Approach Anxiety.
    I actually delt with this today man. Wasn't a problem at all for me. Met a new co-worker and she was beautiful, I chatted her up and flirted all day, my other co-workers were there the whole time, watching every once and a while, talking to us, and having their own conversations. Just do what I did, while your flirting, just think, man I bet they are thinking "look at this guy, he is making it look so easy talking to this girl, he is a pimp" that's what I did, and I got her number

  7. #7
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    Default Re: One big problem

    I remember reading in a communication book in college about the amount of self-disclosure people use in public. Ultimately, it varies. You'll see it largely when people take cell phone calls. Some people will step away to a secluded area. Others will take it right where they are, no matter who is around. This may actually help you get over this a little bit. Use some discretion and decide when not appropriate, but start making a few phone calls, or taking a few phone calls while people are around. If your not cursing incessantly I bet you'll find most people keep walking or doing what they're doing without even noticing.

    This holds true to conversations as well. You probably see people talking to each other in the grocery store all the time. And although you may pick up on a few things here and there, your probably not going to invest much thought in either person and keep doing what your doing.

    If there is one thing I have completely taken from all my research and little practice... it's that practicing is the only true way to get better. Start out small, try talking to a friend in a group of people.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: One big problem

    Agreed with getting the group involved. To win everyone, you need to become the center of the party. However, you have to avoid becoming the dancing monkey for everyone. You have to take your focus away from everyone once in a while, and you can't always be in entertaining mode.

    To get the group involved best, I would personally say that I have found it to work best when I'm alternating between group discussions. I get involved, chat with it for a bit, and then when the group is really going on a high, I'll transfer over to another group. If you're only dealing with one group, switch the focus from person to person. To do this will require you to listen closely and pick up bits of information that you have something incredibly interesting to add onto. Eventually, if you so desire, you can fire it up with the lady of your choosing and carry on things as if nothing had changed.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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