'Hey guys, Keychain here.
I'm new to the forum and wanted to post a couple of my articles to add some value and say 'hi'!
‘Game with the lights on’
If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on daygame that I present at most bootcamps I instruct at. In my opinion, this is what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment.
Without further ado, let’s get into the practical meat of the primer…
I find the greatest consistency and satisfaction using direct openers such as:
‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there…and I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you…because you look absolutely gorgeous…(EXTEND HAND TO SHAKE) Hi, I’m Keychain, what’s your name?’
Direct openers like this (recently popularized by Sebastian Drake, Soul, Dr.Yen etc…) usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.
In some circles, it is said that direct openers require ‘more balls’ than indirect openers. It is usually unclear to which ‘balls’ they are referring, although it is unlikely to refer to the size/volume of the PUA’s anatomy (I suspect it has something to do with courage and successful risk taking). Personally, I think this sort of talk is a load of balls however it is a good excuse to use the following picture:
Further proof that all women are terrorists.
The virtues of direct opening aside, there’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc… There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:
- ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’
- She’s reading a book: ‘What are you reading?’
- She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ (credit Sasha) – take her ipod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist (my addition).
- She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’ (Credit Sasha)
If the girl is sat or stationary, you can just walk over to her and deliver your opener. If she’s moving, I’ll always approach from behind, even if it means letting her walk past to get my angle.
To stop a moving set, approach from behind and touch the inside of the elbow gently with two fingers. You can also touch the tricep area or the back of the forearm. Say ‘excuse me’ to get her attention, stop walking as she turns towards you and then deliver your opener.
To further stop her forward momentum and start the transition to conversation, extend your hand to shake hers. Give your name and ask for hers. She will, as most people would, automatically shake your hand and give you her name. From here, you’re ready to transition.
A Common Trap With Direct Openers
A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. – Rita Mae Brown
Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look‘ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction…they deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.
Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.
Transition to Conversation
After opening, I like to stack and cycle through the following transition material until I find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together (what Sebastian Drake calls a ‘click topic’). Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.
To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic.
1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ‘shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)
2)What do you do for a living?
3)What do you do for fun?
As recommended by Wayne Elise, these can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.
It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.
Another conversation technique I enjoy is to talk about a character trait I enjoy, explain why I enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. I came up with this by combining Mr.M’s ideas about high-value frame attraction and Sebastian Drake’s ‘click topics’. This ‘soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also. Lately I’ve been teaching this at a lot of bootcamps and the results have been so encouraging that I recommend you add this technique to your arsenal.
‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel…there’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgemental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’
‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’
If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.
Thoughts on Conversation
I’d suggest focusing on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.
It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?
Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.
Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.
Taking Things Further
Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:
- suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.
- suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.
- my first daygame approach ended with a hand job in a nearby photo-booth. You could shoot for this if the mood strikes.
The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!
With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.