Every interaction is different. As I think back over the women I’ve been with, I see pattern and variation. On occasions I’ve met a woman during the day or at a bar, taken her number, met for a date and then slept with her. Other women took a little longer, perhaps we slept together on the second date. Other women took longer still. I’ve slept with women from my social circle after having them on what they call a “slow burn” for some months. None of these results is better or worse than the others, they’re just different.
There are other occasions when I’ve met a woman and slept with her that very same day. I was able to achieve these “fast” results because of my ability to escalate rapidly. This ability consists of:
• Being open to the idea that rapid escalation is possible
• Being able to recognise when a woman is open to rapid escalation (an ability to read her momentum)
• Having the skill and confidence (outer and inner game) necessary to actually escalate quickly
• Having the right logistics to lead the woman to a seduction location
I’ve noticed two main sticking points that tend to people back: Approach Anxiety (fear of starting a conversation with a stranger, particularly an attractive woman) and escalation anxiety (fear of moving the interaction forwards or “sexualizing” the interaction). It was endeavoring to tackle the latter with my students that motivated me to systemize much of this material.
Please note, this is a fairly advanced idea that does require a basic level of social and sexual savvy. You should have the ability to carry out an engaging, pleasant conversation with someone without social ticks and excessive nervousness, and you should be meeting and attracting women fairly successfully without wrestling with crippling self-image problems or “running out of things to say”. If you can’t do these things, I recommend closing the proverbial pages of this article and taking care of the ‘first things first’. They are most learnable.
Rapid escalation game is a momentum-based approach. A woman’s momentum dictates how fast you can escalate.
A woman’s momentum is how willing she is to follow your lead. Psychologists might call this ‘compliance’. It takes low momentum for her to shake your hand, but higher momentum for her to sleep with you. Momentum can increase or decrease as the interaction unfolds.
As you approach women, you will find various levels of momentum. Some women will allow you to escalate smoothly and quickly to a kiss or pull (taking her home) without showing any social resistance at all, while others may refuse to even talk to you when you approach! It is very helpful to be able to read a woman’s momentum so that you can tailor your escalation to each situation. If there is a lot of momentum in your interaction, you can escalate very quickly. Less momentum will require a more gradual, paced escalation.
Rapid escalation is merely a combination of your desire/ability to escalate and your ability to read the woman’s level of momentum. When you truly get to the level of intuitively sensing how fast you can escalate with each individual woman, you will naturally be reading a combination of physical momentum and a variety of other signals of her interest in you.
I don’t specifically test for momentum as a distinct act. Every act of leading is a compliance test, so the best way to gauge momentum is just to escalate and pay attention. As you do, take note of how easily she follows your lead. Think of momentum testing like a speedometer on a car – it is not something you turn on and off, it constantly reacts to the car’s speed and displays its measurement. As you get more and more experience, you’ll eventually get a feel for the speed of your interaction.
You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.
When you first taste wine it just tastes like wine, you either like it or you don’t. As you become more experienced and educated about wine, you begin to make finer and finer distinctions with the information your senses are sending to you. You begin to detect the nuances of the flavor and how one wine differs from the next.
Learning by experience is about interpreting the information in your environment with finer and finer distinctions. As you become more experienced and educated, you begin to interpret each interaction better. Patterns and right-action arise from the wash of confusion and guesswork.
If I was to summarize the escalation learning process in one sentence it would be this: If you haven’t already, have a go at escalating really hard and fast and see what happens. Try this, you may blow a few sets but the finer distinctions are worth it. Here’s why:
• When most guys do the above, they are very often surprised at how much momentum they find
• Most guys then realize that they don’t escalate as much as they could. Ask yourself, when was the last time you were blown out from over-escalating (has that ever happened)?
• For one reason or another, most guys don’t ever escalate to the point of blow-out and so never reach the limit of a woman’s momentum. They never really learn to feel where it is.
• If you don’t learn to feel the limit of a woman’s momentum, you can’t reliably gauge where she’s at.
• If you can’t gauge her momentum, you can’t escalate based on it.
• Therefore, your escalations very often fall short. They are based on what you think you can/should do rather than on an understanding of what you actually can do
Here are practical tips on how to escalate that will serve you well in-field.
Lead strongly from outset.
The purpose here is to establish a lead-follow pattern and to get a feel for the woman’s current momentum. For example, my friend Sasha and I were on the street doing some daytime approaches. Sasha was talking to two women, I joined him. He introduced me and made it clear which was the one he wanted. As I shook the hand of the other woman, I just held onto her hand and drew her gently towards me, immediately taking the lead. I pulled her in close, spun her and draped her arms around my neck. We were face-to-face at this point, and she didn’t flinch away. Based on this, I tried for the kiss but couldn’t connect. At this point, I had hit the ceiling of her momentum, so we talked some more (still embracing), baby-stepped some more physical leading and tried again. Still no go. On the third attempt, her friend looked over from Sasha’s arms and shouted, “Just kiss him, he’s hot!” That social permission was just what she needed, and we kissed.
Ladder the acts of leading.
If you go for an act of leading, don’t worry if she does not follow. Just baby-step smaller, more palatable requests until she warms to your original intention. While doing daytime approaches in Oslo, I approached a stunning blond woman with a direct opener. She stopped, I transitioned off the opener by asking if she was Norwegian, she said yes. I hugged her (immediately establishing touch) and said, “Awesome, I love Norwegians!” As I continued talking, I moved to a bench nearby, “Come sit”’ (immediate leading) This was a fairly bold act of leadership considering the brevity of our interaction. She walked towards me but did not sit. Unphased, I simply baby-stepped the momentum with “Give me your hands…turn them over…hmm, okay…come sit”’ And she sat. The physical leading in itself didn’t make a lot of sense and I didn’t bother explaining why I wanted to see her hands. I was just laddering stages to get the momentum for her to sit with me.
Escalate on an emotional spike.
Another way to gain ground quickly during rapid escalation is to physically escalate on an emotional spike. For instance, if you want to move your woman to another location on the street and she doesn’t feel comfortable doing so, wait a while. Make her laugh and, as she feels that good emotion, take her hand and lead her, “Come on, let’s go to the bar.” When you hit a woman’s momentum threshold, you can withdraw some of the physical touching (a “takeaway”) so that she misses the connection you already have. Then when your emotional spike hits and you reinitiate escalation, it will be even better received.
Dominant / Physical
Anyone who has been having sex with a woman and, in the throws of passion, has pinned their woman’s arms above her head for sexy effect will know that many women respond well to physical dominance. You can use this principle outside of the bedroom too.
Examples of physical dominance include taking a woman by the hips and pulling her close, physically lifting her up, catching a woman’s arm as she passes to stop her in a crowded club.
Teaching in London, I was talking to a woman with one of our clients. Some way into the conversation, she asked me to guess her age. She hopped off her stool and did a little spin for me (a pattern I had established earlier). I looked her up and down, pretending to mull over how old she was. I took her by her hips and pulled her sharply into me. I whispered softly in her ear, “I think…you’re twenty-six.” Then I released her.
This act of physical dominance had a profound effect on her. It was an unexpected move, and quite excessive for the topic of conversation. But it demonstrated an animal dominance that she found very arousing. Physical escalation does not necessarily have to have anything to do with what you’re actually talking about. You can make escalation jumps, take charge, test her momentum and spike her emotions all with your physical communication, while verbally talking about every day topics.
For best effect you should have an authentic intent. Escalate and approach women that you are genuinely attracted to and all of your interactions will line up far more congruently.
Don’t draw excessive attention to the escalation. This is a widely known point on escalation, and worth mentioning here.
As you escalate, you will encounter ”congruence tests.” The woman is attracted and she wants to test to make sure that you’re as solid a man as you seem. It’s like standing at the bottom of a mountain and giving your rope a tug before trusting your weight to it. She wants to know that you’re not putting up a front because she’s attracted – it’s a positive sign!
Blow me or blow me out.
Your mission as a learner, should you choose to accept it, is to go out and escalate a bunch of interactions to the point of blowout. Find that point. Really zone in on escalation until you begin to obtain those finer distinctions. Escalate, escalate, escalate and let experience redefine your ideas about escalation.
When you get to the point where you can accurately read a woman’s momentum you can tailor your “game” to suit. Approach the women you’re attracted to. Some will be open and invest in your escalation so go rapid. If she’s less so, play solid game and shoot for the phone number, and setting up a date.
That said, it really is fantastic fun!