Re: Gym Target Aquired: Mission Impossible
I agree with you that waiting can be the better strategy. What I don't agree with is using external factors outside your control for excuses. The fact that you said that you're at a disadvantage because "being buff would give me more confidence" tells me that this is not about being buff, but it's about your own self-worth. Confidence comes from the inside, not from being buff. Being buff, ripped, shredding, huge, whatever, may give you some confidence, but you really don't need it to have that confidence.
Listen, you know what I post on. I'm a huge advocate of strength training and all that stuff. If you want to get jacked, I'm all for it. I think being physically fit and stronger will lead to a better life in all aspects. But it isn't a cure for self-image problems. But it will help. If you have questions about lifting, strength training, or bodybuilding, let me know.
What's really funny about this all is that both you and my friend state that it's really easy for buff guys. But as a guy who's fairly large (I'm just over 6'0", I weigh 220 lbs, I have a 47" chest, and I have a bodyfat percentage of about 15% right now), I often feel that I'm at a disadvantage at the beginning of interactions. While I'm not massive, with girls I am big. I think women are definitely attracted to big guys because of the protection factor, but that attraction is often overpowered by self-preservation and rape defenses. Women realize that if I get them alone and I want to overpower them, there is absolutely nothing they can do physically.
So my point is, there are downsides to this stuff no matter what side you come from. Everyone is going to think the grass is greener on the other side. The difference between my situation and your situation? It's not that one situation is better than the other. It's simply how we deal with it. For me, I know that in order to build sexual attraction that will lead somewhere, I have to build a lot more comfort first. So instead of letting this hold me back, I do silly things like sticking out my tongue and making faces. I keep it really light-hearted. I never approach from behind, because it scares the shit out of women to turn around and look into a wall of a guy. I also never approach straight on because it comes across as too aggressive. I grew up playing contact sports and I can get really aggressive, cocky, and alpha around other guys, but around women I keep those traits repressed until I've built enough comfort.
However, for a smaller guy like yourself, you can come out full-blown cocky and aggressive. With a smaller guy who plays cocky, women are intrigued because they wonder, "This guy isn't very big but he's pretty high on himself. I wonder why?"
Anyways, ultimately my point is don't use external factors outside your control as excuses. Instead, learn how to incorporate them into your game. For instance, some great openers you could have used are things like flexing when she looks at you and delivering a line like, "I know... I'm huge," with an arrogant grin on your face. You could have called her out on using the multi-mirror check out. There's so many things you could have done. Just stay confident in yourself!
Keep hitting the gym too! But remember, gains are made mostly in the kitchen!
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."