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  1. #1
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Recovering from a disaster

    Hello fellow alphas. I've made some breakthroughs with the help of this great forum, but now I'm in a chaotic state.

    To keep things short, I've fallen for a girl (see my day game. Blanked out. thread) and essentially things have kinda fallen appart when my date didn't go so well with her. We still have this chemistry going on even after the date has failed and again through the help of gunsnglory and Instinct, I've basically come to the conclusion that there's a high possibility that I'm being gamed by her.

    Some time pass and I was inspired by Carlos Xuma I believe who sent an email saying something on the lines of "most guys never Kino hard enough to even reach near the girl's threshold" so I wanted to be a bit advantageous and I tried kinoing her a little harder (I know she's supposed to be a pivot, but it can't hurt right?) So basically it was raining that day and I grabbed her shoulder with my arm around her. The reaction was instant and the next 2-3 days she seemed very attracted to me (she would tug my shirt) and act cute infront of me. It seemed genuine to me. So I thought this was great, but I'm worried about what Instinct and gunsnglory had discussed so I stopped and all of a sudden things started going off track she'd go off to have lunch with her new founded female friend leaving me alone. Here's where I feel I'm not quite alpha. I couldn't seem to build any rapport with her new female friend and we weren't introduced properly so I feel we've been disconnected.

    After gaming her for about 3-4 months, I'm starting to feel attachment to her and I'm worried that I've fallen deeper than I thought I had.

    What would an alpha do to make the best out of the situation?

  2. #2
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    You don't want to get too attached at this point emotionally, so try your best not to let that happen. It will cloud your game and make you appear needy if you aren't careful. Since she seems to be game, keep working her. If she tries to back out at when you are trying to close her, just give her a bit of an ultimatum something like, "If you wanna just be friends, that is cool, but I have enough friends right now." Kinda force the issue without devaluing yourself. Either way you win, because you find out the true game. If she is interested, pick up the Kino and also start qualifying her much more seriously. Make her prove herself to you. Since there is already a history of her possibly trying to play you, it is absolutely imperative that you not allow yourself to fall for shit tests or allow her to devalue you.

  3. #3
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnglory View Post
    You don't want to get too attached at this point emotionally, so try your best not to let that happen. It will cloud your game and make you appear needy if you aren't careful. Since she seems to be game, keep working her. If she tries to back out at when you are trying to close her, just give her a bit of an ultimatum something like, "If you wanna just be friends, that is cool, but I have enough friends right now." Kinda force the issue without devaluing yourself. Either way you win, because you find out the true game. If she is interested, pick up the Kino and also start qualifying her much more seriously. Make her prove herself to you. Since there is already a history of her possibly trying to play you, it is absolutely imperative that you not allow yourself to fall for Sh1t tests or allow her to devalue you.
    But in this case, won't I lose her as friend if she decides to be just friends? What good does that do me if everything completely ends?

    The issue I'm having right now is I'm starting to feel I'm losing my grip because she just placed her male friend (who has a gf already) between us today so I feel like it's all coming to an end. I also feel that ever since I left her with her female friend that day, she's starting to close out on me.

    One thing I hate about the gaming part is after 3-4 months I usually start to feel attached to the girl. I tried really hard to resist, but it's just that we've built up so much history together that when I see her, it's almost instant that we'll be together.

  4. #4
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    She hasn't blown you off yet. In fact, from what I understand, she only brings her boyfriend up. She hasn't actually made any negative moves when you amp up Kino. I say, you need to slowly amp up kino and qualification until she is forced to make a decision on you. Right now, it almost sounds like she doesn't know if she wants you or not. Force her to make that decision. If you just keep turning up the heat slowly, she isn't going to hate you if she decides not to go with you, she will just make a very strong decision to put you in the friends category. You seem to be cool with that option.

    If you don't try, you will automatically be put in the friends category, or she may just lose interest in you. That tends to happen when there is an intense build-up and then it doesn't go anywhere.

  5. #5
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    I think I would go on 2-3 dates with other women, let her know that you have choices and will take them, and then realize that when you are dating the other women with your interest in mind, and not worried about theirs, that they are totally falling for you, and use that on her. GnG has some good points, I would ramp the Kino up fast, and suprising, and if she says anything, just have the what the fuck is wrong with you attitude.

    1) 2-3 dates with other women, hotties.
    2) Keep the attitude you had with the other hotties.
    3) Fast Kino Escalate.
    4) You are the prize, if she acts weird, its cause SHE IS weird.

  6. #6
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Agreed. You absolutely should be hanging out with, dating, banging etc 3-5 other girls.

    Not only is it MUCH more fun, it makes you 100% non-needy and you become the prize.

    Until you are in a committed relationship this is the only way to do it. Not only is it fun, but it makes you more attractive to all the girls you are dating.

    Bill

  7. #7
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnglory View Post
    She hasn't blown you off yet. In fact, from what I understand, she only brings her boyfriend up. She hasn't actually made any negative moves when you amp up Kino. I say, you need to slowly amp up kino and qualification until she is forced to make a decision on you. Right now, it almost sounds like she doesn't know if she wants you or not. Force her to make that decision. If you just keep turning up the heat slowly, she isn't going to hate you if she decides not to go with you, she will just make a very strong decision to put you in the friends category. You seem to be cool with that option.

    If you don't try, you will automatically be put in the friends category, or she may just lose interest in you. That tends to happen when there is an intense build-up and then it doesn't go anywhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by Instinct View Post
    I think I would go on 2-3 dates with other women, let her know that you have choices and will take them, and then realize that when you are dating the other women with your interest in mind, and not worried about theirs, that they are totally falling for you, and use that on her. GnG has some good points, I would ramp the Kino up fast, and suprising, and if she says anything, just have the what the fark is wrong with you attitude.

    1) 2-3 dates with other women, hotties.
    2) Keep the attitude you had with the other hotties.
    3) Fast Kino Escalate.
    4) You are the prize, if she acts weird, its cause SHE IS weird.
    Guys, I'm having a rough time right now. My whole life is falling apart and I can't convince myself to be confident.
    It doesn't matter if it was with girls, school, or work. I tried texting girl A trying to get her out to practice for my japanese exam and I dont know if I said something that overwhelmed her or not:

    me: girl a! lets meet up on the 14th and 15th to prepare for the Japanese exam.

    It's been 30 mins and no response. Was it a bad dea to suggest 2 days? This is the final run (its dec and classes are over). I don't know what to do and I'm ready to give up this whole chasing thing (until I recover from this one).

  8. #8
    Instinct Guest

    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery_wannabe View Post
    Guys, I'm having a rough time right now. My whole life is falling apart and I can't convince myself to be confident.
    It doesn't matter if it was with girls, school, or work. I tried texting girl A trying to get her out to practice for my japanese exam and I dont know if I said something that overwhelmed her or not:

    me: girl a! lets meet up on the 14th and 15th to prepare for the Japanese exam.

    It's been 30 mins and no response. Was it a bad dea to suggest 2 days? This is the final run (its dec and classes are over). I don't know what to do and I'm ready to give up this whole chasing thing (until I recover from this one).

    Relax. You are being needy. I am going to IM you tomorrow, and we are going to get everything working in the right direction, just relax.

  9. #9
    Mystery_wannabe Guest

    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Thank you for taking all that effort and time to try and help me. I know I was very AFC like when I've made that post but to be honest, I felt so shitty at that moment. I was talking to my fellow female co-worker and basically mentioned how the "study" session for the Japanese oral exam went. Essentially there was a part where she's basically shit testing me and I kinda fucked up.

    Here's what happened:

    Girl A was trying to grab her water bottle from her bag but couldn't reach it. I decided (out of my own good will) to help her. When she's done drinking, she hands me her bottle and points at the backpack for me to put it back. According to my co-worker, the wrong move I've made was to actually help her put it back considering she didn't say anything. I basically showed compliance and that ruined the alpha status.

    I felt a bit better after knowing what I did wrong, but I feel that at one moment I can feel all alpha but the next it will dive right back to AFC. I feel like I'm having a hard time trying to fight that "loser" feeling and it's bottling up inside. Hours have past and still no response but I'm not as needy as I was at that moment anymore. On my hand, I still have 1 more girl as a side option whom I'm gaming as well. It's just that I really prefer girl A instead.

    As I was driving home from work, I'm having these dark feelings inside me. I have this feeling I wanted to get revenge from girl A for how she tried to take advantage of my "down time". I feel like I wanted to game her on purpose and drop her after. I know this shouldn't be that attitude that I'm supposed to use, but I can't help it because I've been hurt by girls so many times like this when they get me so into them and then drop me hard. I want them to get a taste of their own medicine for once.

  10. #10
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Recovering from a disaster

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery_wannabe View Post
    Girl A was trying to grab her water bottle from her bag but couldn't reach it. I decided (out of my own good will) to help her. When she's done drinking, she hands me her bottle and points at the backpack for me to put it back. According to my co-worker, the wrong move I've made was to actually help her put it back considering she didn't say anything. I basically showed compliance and that ruined the alpha status.

    There's nothing wrong with being a gentleman as long as it isn't very far out of your way. Just blow it off as if it was nothing, and don't bring it up. Now if she tries to exploit your niceness by trying to get you to do something else shortly after, just neg her about her being needy or something. But just being nice, if it happens to be something small and easy, is just good educate.


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