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  1. #1
    Chance's Avatar
    Chance is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    How To Use Flirting To Generate Attraction

    To begin with, women know what flirting is and they respond very differently to flirting communication than they do to typical social communication. If you understand flirting and sexual Tension, you can begin conversations with women and have them instantly feeling attraction for you. If you don’t understand how flirting and sexual tension work, then you’re either going to have to become famous or make a lot of money to be successful with women.

    I’m going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well, then do it right from the beginning in our interactions with women to set the right tone.

    Think Of Flirting Like Playing

    Remember when you were a kid and you used to play fight” with your friends? What’s the difference between “play” wrestling and “real” wrestling? And how do you know the difference when it’s happening… when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on you and tries to pin you?

    The answer is you just know. It’s obvious to humans (and other animals, by the way) when someone is “playing” and when they’re serious.

    Flirting is similar. If you start talking to a woman and say,

    “Hi, you’re very pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?”

    in a normal tone of voice, you’re not flirting. On the other hand, if you say,

    “Hi, I realize that you’re probably shy because you get no attention from men… so I thought I’d come over there and pay attention to you…”

    it’s obvious that you’re not being serious. This is flirting.

    By the way, flirting is not simply telling jokes, or trying to be “cute”. One of the concepts that I teach is called “Cocky & Funny”. Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of flirting and creating sexual tension with a specific kind of humor.

    It’s so funny to me how some guys write in because they “can’t see themselves being Cocky & Funny around women” because they don’t want to come across as jerks. This really cracks me up… because it’s obvious to me that these guys just don’t get it.

    So let me explain this whole thing a different way… If you know how to communicate the right way, women will respond to you right from the beginning with a high level of sexual interest and attraction.

    When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky & Funny way, which is really a form of “adult verbal play”, you tune in to a certain frequency in a woman’s mind and cause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state.

    One Of The Keys To Effective Flirting Is To “Get It”

    In other words, you have to actually get out there and practice so you get a “feel” for how it works.

    I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line or technique and a woman responds by saying “You’re a loser.” Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even one of those horrible “I don’t have a sense of humor” cases, they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that they’re a failure.

    But take my word for it… once you learn how to flirt effectively and communicate in the language of “adult play” you will simply not believe how women will respond to you.

    Here’s an example of some of one of my favorite topics to “riff on” when flirting… the topic of getting married and us being in a relationship… and I’ll give it to you in the form of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might have a conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five minutes earlier…

    Her: “I have a good job, and I make good money”
    Me: “Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We could leave for Vegas right now and be married in about 4 or 5 hours. I need a woman with money.”

    Her: [Laughter] “OK, that sounds like a plan”

    Me: “But wait a minute… do you think you can support the both of us on your income? I really want to be a stay at home husband… you know, keep an eye on the TV and such.”

    Her: “Oh, no… I won’t support you.”

    Me: “Well, then I’m breaking up with you. It’s over between us. I was going to marry you, then divorce you a week later and take half your money.”

    Her: [Laughter] “You can’t break up with me! I’m not even your girlfriend.”

    Me: “That’s all the more reason.”

    …do you get what’s going on here?

    I’m taking a normal conversation topic (her job and income) and redirecting the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky & Funny way to create a fun mood and sexual tension (by suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over her not supporting me, etc.).

    Flirting in the street

    If the above example doesn’t make any sense to you, then take that as a sign that you need to get out and practice more. Try it on a waitress or two.When you ask for something and she says,

    “I’m sorry, we don’t have that”,

    just say,

    “OK, this relationship isn’t working out… I’m going to have to break up with you.”

    In fact, you can say this in just about any situation with any woman where she’s saying something that you don’t like, and it’s funny.

    When you communicate like this, you’re flirting, you’re teasing, and you’re initiating a different kind of communication than what most men

    And as soon as the woman you’re talking to “engages” you in this kind of dialogue, the game is on.

    There are a lot of ways you can flirt that don’t require words.

    * If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look back at her and do the same… only exaggerate it.

    * If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it, then look up at her in a surprised way, then raise your eyebrows as if you just had a major “ah ha!” realization… then start smiling and nodding your head as if you just realized that she wants you. This is a powerful combination because it’s funny, and it exaggerates the meaning in her touching you.

    There are a million ways to flirt like this, but the point that I’m trying to make is that you need to start doing it right from the beginning of your interactions with women. It will set off all of your conversations with women on the right foot, and start a dialogue that creates sexual tension and attraction.

    If you don’t learn how to communicate with women like this you’ll have boring, “normal” conversations that never lead to sexual tension and attraction. Remember, women can tell instantly whether you’re flirting with them or not. If you are, and you’re doing it in a subtle, charming way, you’ll get amazing responses.

    One of the keys to flirting and creating attraction effectively, is projecting confidence and indifference both in your voice tone and body language as you do it… And in order to project these things, you need to have the right understanding and beliefs about how male/female attraction works… and then be able to project them throughout your conversation with women.
    Last edited by Chance; 12-07-2009 at 07:32 PM.

  2. #2
    gunsnglory is offline Official PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    Thanks Chance, that was very good. I have a question for you though. I find it very easy to be cocky and funny, and even to sexually charge that Cocky & Funny, but some how I have a hard time hooking the women. I get strong initial attraction and I have no problem with light Kino. A lot of times I just can't seem to transition farther. I just stay on that slightly sexually charged plateau. Sometimes I think I don't kino fast enough, but the times I have attempted to accelerate the kino, have been met with mixed success. I am the guy who all my friends will point to and be like, "Man, she was all over you flirting." However, when I try to Isolate her or pull her, she will often resist. I do okay, but I know I would be a lot better if I could figure out my sticking point.

  3. #3
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    thanks both Chance and Guns. This is a good thread. Usually the longer pieces I get a bit impatient but every word Chance writes is well used and I got myself thinking in way that is condusive to asking better questions of myself. Sometimes I relate to what you say Gunsandglory. Good thread. This is the sort of discussion that may help me with one or two things that I am currently experiencing...

  4. #4
    Ace_Of_Chase Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    Okay, Chance definitely hit gold here.
    I can say he is ON-SPOT when he says you have to be indifferent.
    I think its kind of 'sad' that we have to walk into a situation almost heartless and unfeeling sometimes, but very often, its the reality. In General, you let her get hooked, while you keep your walls up.
    Now Guns and Glory, the thing about your sticking point is also a concern I can share.
    I usually start the first week or two with hot and heavy make-out sessions, that involve alot of groping and touching, alot of opening up about secrets and desires on the female's part... Sounds good, I know...

    The Problem Is, the fact that they become so distant afterwards. The following days become riddles with Mixed Emotions on the Female's part...
    And Frankly, that's a puzzle that takes time to solve.

    I could seriously use some KNOW-HOW when it comes to dealin' with a chick who starts talkin' about "resolving feelings about an recent BreakUp", and how after all the passion of the previous week, all she needs is friends, when a relationship was never discussed in the first place.
    So far, at this point, I think it necessary to flirt in ways that keep her image of you interesting and sexually attractive, but at the same time, keeping it light, so she doesn't feel pressure. But that's such a delicate balance.
    Im still tryin' to figure out where I might have slipped up, or where she gets her idea that Im tryin' to take it to the next level, without ever saying it.
    I know Mystery mentions how moving to fast too soon, a girl can start to feel a bit of regret - called "buyers remorse", and it can be hard to manage... Im lucky enough to know this young lady enough so that we are able to discuss things, so I'm able to get by with some things that people who have just met each other won't be able to do.
    So, There is a touch of Friendship.

  5. #5
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    i have had a good day for flirting and most of it safe flirting. its not like i have had anything at stake with my 'playing' and it opened my eyes a bit as i have been playing with girls all day and i saw that they know that i know we are playing and it is all very safe. these are girls i have been mates with a while as their were a few i didn't get this with and they were pretty much strangers.

    alot of blokes who don't move in as easily as i do often tell me that i am in the friends zone or what knot. that's ok as i keep moving closer with them or more to the point they move themselves closer to me and i am not chasing them etc...

    this is such an easy way wabout it as the girls feel so comfortable and loved and they want to prolong it with me. i am actually finding that i am actually busy and have to get on with things and the girls are genuinely affectionate and (this is so beautiful) totally unafraid.

    i love flirting and flirting should never be a form of bullying.

    i have always said i flirt for the sport of it, for the fun of playing but I often wished i could get something from it. i have HB10's i am friends with and i flirt because i care because we all like to play

  6. #6
    rezn8 Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    One of the concepts that I teach is called “Cocky & Funny”. Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of flirting and creating s3xual Tension with a specific kind of humor.
    You are joking about this right? You have heard of a little known guy named David DeAngelo? I actually have a 174 page ebook by him on this very same subject. I'm pretty sure it was written ages ago.

    Don't get me wrong. Flirting is great. Its the bomb technology as far as i'm concerned. I just thought it seemed like you made it sound like you came up with some new idea or something.
    Last edited by rezn8; 03-23-2010 at 11:13 PM.

  7. #7
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    I am guessing he isn't claiming to have made it up... I think he is just saying he teaches it also.

  8. #8
    StreetLight Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    Quote Originally Posted by gunsnglory View Post
    but some how I have a hard time hooking the women
    Quote Originally Posted by Ace_Of_Chase View Post
    The Problem Is, the fact that they become so distant afterwards. The following days become riddles with Mixed Emotions on the Female's part...
    And Frankly, that's a puzzle that takes time to solve
    ..the thing is that you have to become at least semi serious at some part, or break the cf frame, from time to time and be more direct and open up

    flirting is VERY good to build attraction but you have to build comfort as well, show that you are more then just playful, and not afraid to open up, at least a bit, keep her emotionally confused (in a good way off course)

  9. #9
    Coyote Guest

    Default Re: Use Flirting to Make Her Like You

    i got in the standard answer and response pattern in a flirting way with a chick yesterday with whom i havent been sure where we stood. she was having a bad day and then her phone rang and i indicated that i had to go and she said goodbye honey or something like that.

    people like playing and maybe if we play with each other we trust one another a little bit.... or the comfort level is created because we are enjoying an interaction without placing too much meaning or importance on it. after all, having sex is a fun act and flirting should lead to this

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