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  • 1 Post By hyp

Thread: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

  1. #1
    Markus721 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    I apologize in advance if my question has been answered by others before.

    Hi guys, Noctis just counseled me that I should stay away from indoor malls and day game and just work on night game in places like bars and clubs.

    So, last weekend I explored the nightlife in my city for the first time. In the downtown area there is bar after bar and club after club. I went from venue to venue, spending in each, all over 5 hours.

    My findings:
    Bars: (crowds come in earlier) 80% guys, 20% girls
    Clubs (open later at night) 80% girls 20% guys. I observed that the girls who dance are not interested in talking. They just to move on the dance floor, which is 80% women, and they're just in their own little world, dancing with their girlfriends in little groups, not too interested in picking up men. Then there are girls along the bar sides and perhaps they are open to convo.

    The girls in these places are generally 21 yo

    I believe you could have a PUA who 70 or 80 or 90 years old but is so good in his game that the21 year olds would love to be with him.' So age is not the critical factor, as long as you have game. Game is the essential issue

    So when I hear advice to do night game in bars and clubs, its I don't see how it can work. My big problem is that I am a 45 y.o. beta, with zero game, self esteem, confidence, social skills, and am awkward and can't even talk to guys less talk to girls.

    When you have this completely inept 45 yo AFC going up to 21 year olds in a bar or club for convo, isn't it socially inappropriate in everyone's eyes? Doesn't it just scream creepy to have a 25 year age gap? Aren't the HB's definitely going to treat him differently than they treat those in their same age group?

    I've heard instructors say that the age question is bullsh1t, but I don't agree because while alpha old guys do fine, beta old guys find HB's treat older men (especially those without game) differently than they treat their 21 year old peers. They just do. They treat them harshly, like they shouldn't even exist or be present in the room. There's no playfulness or openness or oh lets meet this guy he's new maybe he's fun. No its a prejudgment - too old, get away.

    The night I went out recently, the girls wouldn't even make eye contact with me when I approached. And Two of them I approached, and as soon as they spotted me coming to them for convo, they just turned and walked away. It's like they have no time for middle aged men. Not even time for a hello.

    So I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the advice to go to clubs and bars when they're all 21 year olds. If the goal is to get a #close, kclose, or more can those things really happen when they won't spend one second breathing the same air as you.

    A 45 y.o. PUA with alpha game could do fine there. The girls would see he was projecting alpha and would talk to him. Girls will respond to alpha no matter the age, I think.

    But when a beta is projecting beta, and screaming neediness outcome-dependence and aa and rejection anxiety and despiration, and low social skills and awkwardness and nice guy, its a different experience. The girls pick up on what you project. The Beta's age and state becomes an important factor.

    Bottom line in bars and clubs I just feel like the creepy guy approaching young girls. I don'rt see other middle aged men out.

    My ultimate goal is to do lots of approaches and try to get numbers, and I need some sort of venue for that, but when you're ignored and not given the time of day because they think your presence is creepy and socially unacceptable, then you don't get many chances to practice convo skills or anything other than rejection.

    Despite all this should I still continue to go to the bars and clubs and just let whatever happens happens and I guess just collect lots of instant rejections from 21 yo? Without the option of really build skills like convo, teasing, kino, escalation, closing, etc.

    How can a 45 yo AFC successfully learn his PUA skills during night game at bars and clubs? Maybe I don't have the right perspective? Any input to help me get the right perspective would be helpful.

  2. #2
    EliTurk89 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    Are you a beginner? Have you been going out practicing game for a while or you just started? If so I would start with day game instead of clubs and Bars and such. You could go drink coffee at Starbucks or something. Also book stores are golden. There are quite a few places to go game. Now I wouldn't know anything about older game since I'm 24 but I know there are some MPUAs that are older and I'm sure they are good at picking up anyone.

  3. #3
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
    NoctisCaelumPUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    The short answer yes, the long one? No. Generally I would say a 12-14 year break is cool. 45-15 so 30 yr olds would be your cut off. I have seen 42yr olds, 37 yr olds, 35yr old, 33 yr olds, 43 yr olds, 38 yr olds in the Clubs and Bars. Granted most of the girls are rather young 18-23 I would meet about one girl a night in that age group. My last GF was 43 who I met at a Club and I am only 30. The VIP girls are generally older so look in those areas.

    Also day game is still good to go. Water Parks, Amusement Parks, Holiday Events are gold mines of older hotter women. Outdoor Malls have slews of hot 40 yr old women during the Summer. I will still be hitting up the Clubs at 42 cuz I met a 42 yr old there so me being 45 seems like a non issue. However 50 may be a little past the rocker to be hitting on 30 yr olds in Clubs and Bars and the time to consider other venues. I am 30 and am attracted more to women in the 30-40 age group and women in those groups keep saying I am too young! So don't worry I have it rough on the 30 yr olds cuz they say we are too young to date sometimes but my last GF was 43 and the topic didn't even come up cuz my Inner Game was tight.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.

  4. #4
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    I've heard instructors say that the age question is bullsh1t, but I don't agree because while alpha old guys do fine, beta old guys find HB's treat older men (especially those without game) differently than they treat their 21 year old peers.
    i agree with the instructors, i've talked sh1t with some dude that was like 50 - no i don't swing that way, but he was a cool guy at the pub - i accepted him into our group and it was fine

    if you claim your social skills are sh1t and you're beta, there's no use telling us all the excuses you can come up with, maybe start fixing those so you don't have any excuses to give us and most importantly you because when you are able to talk to people, randoms whoever you'll be accepted

  5. #5
    Markus721 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    if you claim your social skills are sh1t and you're beta, there's no use telling us all the excuses you can come up with, maybe start fixing those so you don't have any excuses to give us and most importantly you because when you are able to talk to people, randoms whoever you'll be accepted
    Well, I do want to fix those. Hyp I agree with you that once I learn how to talk to people, I will be accepted. But getting to that point requires a lot of experience talking to women and the point of my post was that younger women do not seem to be open to giving me that experience or opportunity to learn. Based on the attempts I've made so far.

    So Noctis' opinion is that I should focus on 30 year olds and up. That would certainly improve the social acceptability of what I'm trying to do. But your opinion seems to be that I should open younger girls too.

  6. #6
    xrm9963 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Can a 45 year AFC practice with 21 year olds?

    Markus, I am in a similar situation like you are, maybe even worse, I am 50, and I am sick and tired of women 35-40, messed up physically and emotinally, so I was trying to hit on younger women.
    I also have cofidence and approach issues, and I have come to an understanding: I *MUST* start with older women first, to get the picture, to get the practice, with less rejection fears, less stress and pressure. Then, after I will be practiced enough, with enough experience on older women, THEN I will be able to start lowering the age of the girls I will approach.
    My goal is within a year from now, I will hit on 20-30 years old girls without any problem.


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