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  • 1 Post By Wolf24
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Thread: Need help maintaining frame control

  1. #1
    Lazarus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help maintaining frame control

    So there's this really hot/intelligent/sweet/friendly girl I've been trying to pick up for a while now, we talk and she throws out TONS of ioi's, she pretty much always seems receptive when I try to talk to her but the problem I have is even TRYING to talk to her (I'm paralyzed with fear about even approaching her). Just about all of our conversations are the result of one of us saying something as we're passing or occasionally approaching the other.

    So my problem is this: When I actually think about her IOI's they seem pretty clear most of the time and I feel confident that I at least have a chance with her, but whenever I think about approaching or initiating a conversation with her I get overwhelmed by this feeling of "She's way out of my league." So how do I maintain my "she likes me" frame?

  2. #2
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    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help maintaining frame control

    This doesn't sound like some complicated battle of frames. If she's giving you IOIs you just need to go for it. It should be your auto-pilot response.

    Stop complicating things further and go back to the basics. If there is ioi, ask her out or kiss her. Whatever floats your boat.

    You can be nervous, you should be. But use that excitement to push yourself, not an excuse to hold yourself back. Just go for it, man.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    Lazarus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help maintaining frame control

    The reason I said maintain my frame (maybe frame isn't the right idea..."state?") is that as soon as I start thinking about it, suddenly all of her ioi's magically transform themselves into "she's just being friendly" in my mind...and I start second guessing myself and seeing rejection or ambivalence.

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    Default Re: Need help maintaining frame control

    It's all about growing a set in this case. Solid ioi's are great, but there also useless if you're not going to act on them. I would have an interesting conversation or open ended question in mind if you're nervous about approaching her. You have less of a chance of things getting awkward this way and it gives you a reason to tell her you're going out together at some dope whatever.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

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    Default Re: Need help maintaining frame control

    Honestly, who cares what she thinks...and who cares what you think.

    you don't even need to have frame control, just be in the frame...and if you're being yourself it'll probably turn out as a good portrait.

    If thats a little hard to grasp, realize that you have no idea of how she projects you, she might be attracted, she might be indifferent, or she might be worried that youre not attracted to her!

    Thats why acting upon how you THINK she sees you is just ignorant because your not certain.
    -"Dependence is only a state of mind, Independence is a state of being, because in the end all we really have in the world is ourselves"


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