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  1. #1
    Anfernee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Need help with opening messages on PoF

    What's up guys,

    I've re-created my PoF account after several years of inactivity. I look totally different now, have a different email address, and basically i'd be really hard to recognize as the Anfernee of 8 years ago. I mention this because I don't want to look like the "same loser" that was here, 8 years ago.

    I've poured my heart out on my profile on other sites like match.com, adultfriendfinder and benaughty (yeah, I know, I suck) and even though I'm a reliable dude with decent values (bla bla bla) I'm learning that's one of the last things I want any woman to think right off the bat. She might think I'm a few tweaks away, which is cool with me, because this might give her a goal or keep her hooked. Naturally my profile pictures were duck-faced selfies and a picture of myself shirtless. I know. This was 8 years ago, when I didn't know anything. I still don't, but I acknowledge that and am working to change it.

    The funny thing is though, I had (for me) moderate success. There was a steep learning curve (and many a cold woman) but in 2 years I had gone on 5 dates with 3 different girls, and made contact with a couple of dozen more but nothing ever came of any of it.

    So I this time with a different approach. Before I list everything I did, I'll say a bit about me to help paint a better picture.

    I'm 31. I'm about 6'1. I'm lean. Actually wiry. I have a prominent widow's peak and a big (not huge) nose. Let's say I have angular features, and would make a decent elf. But still a kind of badass one. I'm pretty serious but I've been told I'm funny (I know I am but when others say it that counts double).

    This time I did this:

    In the "About Me" section, I wrote "My friends would describe me as shallow, materialistic, selfish, and childish" and some other stupid stuff along those lines. In "Interests" I wrote "making ice". Under job I wrote "Bidness Man". That's it. Oh yeah, and after sifting through, and messaging, 100 profiles or so with canned material that I thought was clever at the time. These were my openers, if you could call them that:

    1. "Do you like really poor guys?"
    2. "What's your favourite dish at the olive garden? "(only if they're a foodie)
    3. "If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war. There would be no government and... things could get terrible. And actually probably it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion. (if they said liked The Office)"
    4. "Do you know Korky Buchek?" (from Borat, the bang bang bing song)

    Right now you are wondering if I am retarded. the answer is "yes". I have a dry sense of humour and am able to tell jokes with a straight face, but online without emoticons this art is...subtly complicated.

    1. NO responses. Girls definitely don't like being asked this question. Period.
    2. NO responses. Ditto.
    3. 3, No responses. And they claimed to like The Office. Bah!
    4. Surprisingly, 5 responses, from "lol" to "lol no" to "nope" to "lol why would I?"

    Except for the last one these were all blow-offs, but to me it was like splitting the atom. Obviously, I answered all of them back "He play that song bing bang bing dang dang dang bing bing"."

    The last one responded "lol" and I didn't answer.

    Conclusion: these lines all suck. I tried each one over 30 times, and I thought I chose my demographic wisely. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Regardless, life's too short to not try to come up with a better way.

    I changed the chode selfie duck face photo i had for another selfie (alll i got atm) where I'm sitting in a chair looking stupid, in my messy-ass room (clean now). There's a skateboarding pic, a skiing pic, and a ballcap pic with the same stupid grin. Except for the chair selfie, these are pretty good for the frame I'm trying to set (immature, fun-loving badass).

    I even wrote "Don't message me. I'll message you." I did this in response to everybody writing stuff like "I get so many messages so don't take it personal but I'm too popular to even tell you that I'm not down". If that were the case, it wouldn't need saying. Does the rich man ever go around telling people how rich he is? So I was wondering on how to 1-up this, by feigning complete disinterest; with my pics, with my profile, and with that. "Yeah, don't approach me. If I haven't approached YOU, it means I'm not interested, so move it along." That's what I was saying. I've removed this after several hundred more attempts because I realize that it severely narrowed down my possible demographic, which would be ok later on, but right now I don't feel I've earned the right to be too choosy; it's more a question of just doing it.

    I started examining their profiles, looking for hints, and then writing to them. Most of the time the messages were brief.

    For example, one girl wrote "corp sales" under her job and then said she flew planes. I told her that it "made sense to use planes to fly the crops from mexico to canada. It's really hard to find a good drug dealer online these days."

    Another girl is losing weight and talked about her youtube show. We both run and stuff but all i said was "power to you. What you're doing takes guts" and I've been talking to her ever since. It's been Fluff talk at first but she commented on me being a "bidness man". Finally, it's working....We talked for a bit, then I left. Next day I asked her "training hard all day?" and this is what she wrote:

    "hehe no.. did a tiny bit of weights before heading into the office... usually I do 45 mins but this morning I overslept :P ... kind of a long weekend..
    After work I go to yoga class... like most nights hehe
    Congrats on your own business thats fantastic! Do you have yoga gear?? hehe
    Have a terrific day :P good to meet you xox"

    Naturally I was thrilled. I tried to keep it in my pants but after hundreds of unresponded messages I caved and wrote

    "Haha well you still did something despite having slept in, AND you're going to yoga later? That's a good soldier
    As for yoga, I can barely cross my legs. I occasionally stretch (although not nearly enough) but I've been wanting to learn for a while but it's only been an idea so far. I guess that changes when a cute girl axes me if I have yoga gear :P
    You have a wonderful day too.
    I'm glad we met xox right back at ya"

    I think this was not bad, but I don't know if I should have xox'd back or not...she gave me an ioi but its kind of a shit test in a way too, to see if I'll come running at the first sign of affection, which I kind of did, but not too much, I believe.

    Yesterday I messaged her

    "Do you ever skip rope?"

    Her:

    "nah i run..lift weights and do lots of yoga"

    Me:

    "It's not for everybody but I think it's fun. It's steezy too"

    Then I let it go for the night. This morning at 7 am:

    Her:

    how else do u keep fit

    Me:

    I follow a boxer's diet and workout. And jazzercise.

    Her:

    "lol jazzercise"

    And that's the road so far. There have been others, but I'll post more threads on what openers I used (yeah, I used other ones too...). This one though, is the closest thing I have right now to..well...anything. I don't want to get one-itis; I'm still pursuing many, many, many others all day, but this is the furthest along.

    I want to do a meet-up, but I don't know how I should do it. I don't really want to do a workout date with her because we live on opposite ends of town and one of us would have to be all sweaty after without a change of clothes, or impose a shower on the other person. I know pornos start like this, but I think I want to try to avoid that. But if you tell me I'm wrong, then I'll mos def go for a jog and try to do the shower thing...

    What do I do now?
    How can I get her number/meet her quickly?
    Will whatever she feels wear off if I don't act, or should I play it cool, wait around, message her every few days as if I'm bored, or what?
    Teach me!

    Anyway, any feedback/critique/criticism would be much appreciated.

    Thanks

    Anfernee

    PS I'm gonna get some better pictures, taken of me doing cool shit, by other people. I'm gonna try to get one of myself in my pyjamas, arguing with the mailman or something. Do you think this could go with my frame? Let me know!

  2. #2
    Anfernee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with opening messages on PoF

    I don't know if I did this wrong; I've never used any tie of forum. Ever. I feel selfish for asking, but is it normal to not receive any replies in 85 views? Did I not post right or break some rules? Or is there just a long wait?

  3. #3
    2champ2 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with opening messages on PoF

    My tips for online are to get some good pictures. Go out with friends, go travel somewhere, take a pic of yourself hanging off a cliff, just have interesting pictures. It gives them something to talk about and shows personality. I have pictures of myself rock climbing, hiking, out with friends, a pic with girls in my arms. It really helps, ditch the selfies man. As for openers I go with something like this.

    Me: look I know you are crazy busy reading through hundres of hey what's up, or hi, or wow your hot messages, so once your done I have this serious question for you. If I could snap my fingers right now and send you anywhere in the world, where would u go and why?

    Now I send that to probably around 40-50 girls and usually only get a handful of responses, like 2-5, and I usually follow up with a role playing thing like this:

    HB: probably Italy
    Me: OK so we are going to Italy together, we are gonna open up an Italian resturaunt, you do all the cooking and cleaning and I will just collect all the cash and eat all the pizza. You can cook good right?

    They usually respond with something along the lines of thatsbno fair or I want some of the cash and then I "negotiate" a fair deal with them and our future business. I have number closed a few with this and am actually meeting one of them tomorrow and another later this week. After that routine successfully opens and gets some fun flirting going I start to just ask your typical questions to find out more about her. That's what has worked pretty well for me recently.

  4. #4
    Anfernee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with opening messages on PoF

    Thanks dude! Those are good tips. I like the "I know you're crazy busy" part. And no selfies; they say "this guy doesn't even do anything, and he doesn't even have a friend to photograph him".

    Thanks for the advice.

  5. #5
    Sh0wtyme99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with opening messages on PoF

    2champ2 (twoooo chammmpp!!) Is absolutely right. Pictures = 1000 words right? I wasn't getting alot of love on POF.. I have not been on for a while but its cold. No going out for me. My homie just went outwith a pof girl tonight.. (hes got game #noPUA) I decided to try again. Granted .. I have smashed am HB8 from POF and also kissclosed first date another HB 7.5. So got on tonight .. Put 5 new pics on. Miami Pic An at the park pic, suit and tie.., Halloween etc. . dhv I'm a fun guy.. right?? I think subtle negging is one of the best ways to start off..Girl Ijust met literally a few hours ago.. Me: (brings up her username) "Interesting Ur lucky u are a cutie,otherwise I would have to clown that wack username.. HER: OMG, and what is wrongwith my username?? ME: Seems you couldnt decide whether to use a clothing brand name or you were tryna weigh yourself..
    --------well she took the bait convo went on about usernames etc etc.Women lose interest fast.. so another way I reeled her back in after neg 1 and 2 (get it? Took the bait ?? Reeled her in?? POF play on words)was bringing up a common interest .. Completely changing the convo or creating a cross convo thread: Me: Hold up !!! Walking Dead starts at 9 right?? HER: Yep and Giants play at 830 blah blah blah I'm torn between the two blah blah.. Me : I'm so glad you are a fan of Walking Dead otherwise this relationship was gonna be totally over.. I was going to come get my spare key like right now.. BTW the Giants SUCK. (Did you peep game?1. Common thread Walking Dead 2. Put her thought process in courting relationship mode 3. I was going to break up with you ..I control the frame 4. Giants suck ..more backup convo ammunition if needed. ______So we exchanged #s and game on. I can talk about the transition and continuing to control the frame in another thread.

  6. #6
    Sh0wtyme99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with opening messages on PoF

    BTW i meant "its cold" Since i will not be going out to holler at chicks I will go ahead and try another method..... online


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