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  • 2 Post By Stix
  • 1 Post By meteora

Thread: The safest and most basic of openers

  1. #1
    Stix's Avatar
    Stix is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The safest and most basic of openers

    Let us not forget the all time classic of openers, the one that has graced our fabled society ever since the UK did us socialites a massive favour by banning smoking in pubs and clubs.

    "Excuse me, have you got a lighter?"

    For anyone wishing to erode their Approach Anxiety from scratch - especially if you're coming from a point of low confidence and a mistrust for unusual topics to the tune of "Hey guys, can I get a female opinion on whether or not magic tricks are actually tricks and not real magic?" urgh.

    Believe it or not, these ridiculous openers actually break the ice if you've got confidence, timing, and a smile on your face. But if you haven't got all that, and you happen to enjoy smoking - asking for a light could be your first baby step towards realizing that most strangers enjoy being chatted to and do not have the sharp teeth you may think they have.

    ---

    I usually go off on one like "Excellent! Thanks for the light, this random girl stole my lighter without realising - don't you just hate it when people do that?" (...teasingly putting their lighter into my pocket and continuing to rant)

    For all of you smokers out there, here's a silly piece of advice to try out. When you go out... Never Carry A Lighter

    Before I knew about PUAs etc., (and thereby actually learned some tried and tested conversation-starters), I think I probably wouldn't have met one of my previous girlfriends if I'd been carrying a lighter that day.
    "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The safest and most basic of openers

    I agree with you that smoking can be a very social activity, and smoking can be a good way to break the ice. anyone who smokes should know a few social norms though, if you borrow a light or a cig from someone you are expected to smoke with that person and have a little conversation (even if its just some little small talk about how you wish you could quit smoking)

    but for non smokers, asking for the time or asking for directions works just as well for practicing cold approaches on strangers.

    however if you are in a bar, I have found that the best opener is to sit at the bar and ask the person beside of you what their favorite drink is or what drink are they having. then order one from the bar tender

  3. #3
    Stix's Avatar
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    Default Re: The safest and most basic of openers

    It's funny that you mention asking for the time. For openers I have recently been using a lot of what I consider 'socially normal' things to ask a stranger. I try to figure out ways to turn what would usually be a very short interaction into a more interesting conversation. This way, the opener is very non-threatening and it often looks like you weren't even trying to start a conversation - somehow you managed to start a conversation accidentally!

    I've been developing a neat Asking For The Time opener and I finally decided to write it down. Check it out here:

    puaforums.com/pua-openers/25174-new-opener-how-start-good-conversation-asking-time.html#post111662

    [Caution: you may have to leave your watch at home as well as your lighter!]
    "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

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    Default

    Very true. Compliments and conversation with Hired Guns is an easy way to get social butterflies out of your system.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up


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