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Thread: New opener: How to start a good conversation by asking the time

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb New opener: How to start a good conversation by asking the time

    Asking for the time can actually be a deceptively useful opener - you can pretty much use it anywhere without appearing strange or threatening.

    Simply asking for the time then leaving is great for warming up, or for dealing with Approach Anxiety.

    Of course, turning it into a conversation starter needs a little extra effort. So here's an option I've been working on. I reverently dub this new opener "The Time-Fun Continuum":



    ---

    PUA: Hey - have you got the time?

    Woman: [tells you the time]

    PUA: REALLY!? That time already - my god... why do you think time always flies so fast in a place like this? [Pause to show it's not a rhetorical question. (But it is a leading question.)]

    Woman: Um... I don't know. Maybe because you're having fun...?

    PUA: You know what - I *AM* having fun... how did you know!? [Pause in case she wants to answer. See below*] Are you having fun?

    Woman: Yeah, I guess...

    PUA: Ace! You're having fun too - High Five! [High five her. Maybe spin her.] - We're like, the Fun Brigade or something. You know what's also fun...

    [At this point you could switch topic, tell a story, ask her to dance, play a game, or whatever you like, really. (But do something fun)]

    ---




    So here's some details and further thoughts...

    Best used:

    - High energy club/bar/party environment, close by standing sets (or individuals) - queuing for the bar perhaps? Even better if you've warmed up the room.

    - With a cheeky smile, high energy and none-too-serious tone.

    Different ways the opener might go:

    - In the unlikely event that she says she's not having fun, you could ask her why not? (What is she missing out on? Maybe she needs to come dancing to cheer her up. Maybe she needs a hug? etc. Interaction is now well underway and you've the opportunity to be sympathetic as well as be the bringer of fun.)

    - If (very unlikely) she says she stopped having fun the moment you walked up... *Time to leave*. You may want to check your non-verbal communication (tone of voice, body language, eye contact etc.) and try again on someone else. Or you might have just interrupted an important conversation.

    - If you get any obstacles looking at you skeptically during or after the opener, you can just say "Aha - so you must be the Fun Police. A pleasure to meet you! ...My partner in crime and I [refer to target] are the Fun Brigade and we're going to teach you to lighten up, aren't we?"

    Tangent...

    *If she answers the "How did you know I'm having fun?" bit, usually she'll have to tell you something about you:

    - "Because you've been all over the bar talking to loads of people and I've seen you rocking it on the dance floor etc."
    [Big ioi!] PUA: "Yes, I have indeed - and they're all having fun too! Aw... you're feeling jealous aren't you? Well, maybe if you're well behaved I'll introduce you to them later. But for now, let's..."

    - Something obvious and dull like "Because you're talking loudly"
    [Eye rolling time] "Ah, but maybe I always talk like this. [Tease] You're very perceptive aren't you ...what else do you think you can guess about me?"

    - "Call it women's intuition"
    [Great topic] PUA: "Tell me more about this 'women's intuition' malarky - what else are you intuiting about me?"

    etc.

    Her telling you something about you (at least, your first impression anyway) is usually a good thing because:
    a) It could give you a clear indicator to get out of the set
    b) It could tell you what you're doing wrong
    c) It gives you a chance to say "Nope, wrong! I guess your intuition isn't that good after all!" and force her to re-evaluate you.
    d) It gets her thinking about whether she likes you, checking out your outfit, wondering why you're having so much fun etc.
    e) It could provoke an IOI



    ---

    Thoughts on this opener?
    Got any good tweaks or responses to be prepared for?
    "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

  2. #2
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    Default Re: New opener: How to start a good conversation by asking the time

    How many times have you tried out this opener?
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  3. #3
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    Default Re: New opener: How to start a good conversation by asking the time

    At the time of writing, only twice:

    - I was queuing for the bar at a gig on Saturday night - cute girl to my right - and my mind went blank for appropriate openers. So I just asked her what time it was and sort of bumbled into a conversation (not unlike the one above) from there. Kept talking about how good the gig was, which in retrospect was probably an uninteresting subject. She reacted well though, started getting a bit touchy feely, smiling and laughing unnecessarily. After about 5 mins I asked if she had a boyfriend and she showed me her wedding ring - 5 years married apparently.

    - After that I decided to try it on a 2-set out in the smoking area. Once we'd established that we were all having fun I wasn't really sure where to take it - I said something like "it's a good gig isn't it" and sounded like a broken record in my head, so I flaked out and went back to my friends. I figured I had to prepare for some good transition ideas and then try it out again another day.

    --

    However, on Tuesday night I tried it out with maybe 8 or so sets. Had mostly positive reactions - one girl danced with me and I got a kiss from her eventually, then before I left a (hesitant) phone number - but there was this one girl who just said "I don't know" to the question why does time fly. I (stupidly) tried to prompt her by saying "Maybe it's because we're having fun...?" and she just said "Good for you", which I took as my cue to leave.

    I'm starting to like it, because I don't feel too weird or off the wall by starting it. Quite a painless opener in case it doesn't go very far, which means I'm more likely to use it rather than not approach. Definitely need to work on transitioning safely to a more interesting topic though.
    "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

  4. #4
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    Default Re: New opener: How to start a good conversation by asking the time

    Oh, and turns out nobody really answered the "How did you know I was having fun" bit, or perhaps I'm not giving people long enough to think of a response.
    "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." - Gloria Steinem


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