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  • 1 Post By Valentine<3
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Thread: Dating her BF for a month, definite IOI's, not sure what to do

  1. #1
    Valentine<3's Avatar
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    Exclamation Dating her BF for a month, definite IOI's, not sure what to do

    Hey PUAs,

    I've been a PUA for many months now, however this is my first post as usually I can overcome obstacles. This is the first time I'm legitimately stumped and my discussions with my wings have lead to no clear conclusion.

    A bit of backstory -
    I graduated Highschool in 2010 with this girl (HB9) and she definitely gave me IOI's in school and even Kino escalating me (hugging me, sitting on my lap: forgive me brothers, I was an AFC, I didnt notice :C) and even asked me to our senior prom to which I declined as I did not plan to attend.

    Fast forward a bit, I'm in the Navy now and stationed in Yokosuka, Japan (feel free to message me if any of you want to sarge out here). We made plans to hang out last time I was home but they fell through. (later said she called me but I never answered). Any ways, yesterday I got one of her "random messages" and I'm posting the highlights below so you have a bit of context.

    She re-opened me yesterday-

    her: hiii
    me: Sup
    her: u know i called u to hang out with u when u were here and u never called me back not much effort on both our parts tho
    me: What phone did you call? I never got it
    her: w.e number i have in my cell
    but i reached out to u and u texted me actually from the number i used so def was working, but i never heard back so i was just like welppp he cant say i played him, i did try.
    me: Its cool, you couldve messaged me on fb, i can get that wherever
    her: but i used the number u texted me from when u were her in jersey
    so i didnt think to even facebook u i felt like if did and u didnt reply once i wud just be annoying so i didnt bother
    me: Did it bother you i didnt answer?
    her: yeah and then i saw pix of u partying and passed out and im like really, i wont see him now till idk when

    part 2 after some Fluff-

    her: llol grrrrr so mad now, wth!!! wish u were home i cud use someone to talk to about so much i miss u!
    me: oh yeah?
    her:yeah, mad i didnt see u and now i have to wait again
    me: whys that
    her: do u miss me? if so then u have ur answer
    me: well duh, at least a little
    her: thanks
    me: Thats my answer ...?
    her: at least alittle was ur answer
    me: "At least a little" means a little or more, Maybe im just shy
    her: -_____- stop being shy lol u told me more than u miss me before in conversations (*when i was an AFC), than again u were always tipsy at those times, but still, stop being shy
    me: Tell me why and ill tell you how much for real
    her: cus i like u even though i havent seen u to really explore that feeling and those thoughts.
    me: And what feelings would that be?
    her: well if u like someone u have feelings for them. and i wud like to see if those feelings r legit or its just a thought or idk. so hanging out with u wud help me understand them more.

    part:3
    her: lol ur an idiot
    me: No im not, youre attracted to me
    her: i wonder why humans are attracted to other humans the way they are
    me: Would you rather be attracted to something else?
    her: like what
    me: Idk you tell me
    her: ur the one tht said it
    me: Youre the one whos attracted to me
    her: u kno what i appreciate is u make time for me regardless of ur busy life , ive dated people tht dont do tht and its annoying. girls like attention
    regardless! (*I've concluded that by mentioning ex's to contrast my behavior she may well be pondering what a relationship with me would be like)
    me: I give time to those who give me time relationships are a two way road
    her: yeah exactly!
    me: All i ask from others is understanding when im incapable of giving my time due to circumstances
    her: well i understand tht because i needed tht from ppl wen i as in nursing school

    part 4, this was this morning-

    her: my sickness is going away I feell better thank god
    me: I guess im just your good luck charm
    her: Haha maybe I'm going out tonight can't wait
    me: Gonna go talk to some cute boys?
    her: Lol the promoter has a thing for me, But I been dating someone for a month and a half now
    me: Ooh thats good, i bet he treats you great
    her: Yeah he does just works alot
    me: Thats good
    her: No I hate it.
    me: What!? Why??
    her: Cus I dnt get to see him a lot
    me: Yeah but if hes a great guy, which im sure he is, it shouldnt bother you that much

    In conclusion, you can see I initially started running a BF Destroyer, however she hasnt seen my message yet, which Ive attributed to her night out. I've read many articles on BF Destroyers to study up in the time being. I got excited at the thought of running the Zebra Method because in the past three years our relationship has been very friendly and platonic so it would separate us from that and set the stage for me by clearly stating my intent and asserting myself. I feel very confident in my ability to pull it off although I'm uncertain in which method would be best. I've never encountered this. I'm getting clear IOI's, basically stated shes attracted to me (at least...she didnt deny it o_O) but then she dropped that "I have a boyfriend" bomb.

    I'm considering abandoning the routine I'd begun in the convo and continuing the sarge as if she's never mentioned it since it isnt that serious yet. Sorry for the long post! thoughts???
    "You only learn through rejection. Seeking the blowout every time has lead me to understanding and enlightenment, like Buddhism, I've achieved oneness through suffering."
    "Did you just relate being a player to Buddhism?"

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating her BF for a month, definite IOI's, not sure what to do

    Honestly I don't think you even need to use any bf destroyer on her cause she's already attracted to you and they've only been.dating for a month. It also seems like she was trying to make you jealous by stating she has a bf so she can get a reaction out of you.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    Valentine<3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating her BF for a month, definite IOI's, not sure what to do

    Ahh! I hadn't even considered that! I was confused because she just dropped it so nonchalantly. Thanks!
    "You only learn through rejection. Seeking the blowout every time has lead me to understanding and enlightenment, like Buddhism, I've achieved oneness through suffering."
    "Did you just relate being a player to Buddhism?"

  4. #4
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating her BF for a month, definite IOI's, not sure what to do

    Oh she's one of those. Oh facepalm. Anyway you got a real winner on your hands sound like she thinks of you as potential hubby material. Women are prone to Marriage and she may count you as a potential suitor. First if a girl is flirting with you and talking to you never worry about the BF. So many examples I could give you of this but it all boils down to "mixed signals" they are sending but I see right through that smokescreen now. I get played sometimes but that is rare. Usually when they break out the BF card I can always battle unless...

    1. I know the BF
    2. The BF is calling me
    3. She brings up the BF right when I open

    Usually the BF thing comes up later and I can always get around it. I play around with it and tell them no they like me and they admit it. But when I open a girl and the first words I hear are "I have a BF" I am gone just strait up walk away as that is too much drama. But it is easier when you get them flirting with you, making out with you, and score their number and the next day they are like "Oh I have a BF I forgot to tell you" don't be phased by this as girls do this shady stuff all the time. While it is technically cheating I never call them out just have fun with it and again flirt with them convinced they still like me. So in a word yes she is technically cheating so again cards in your favor. When I do this I have actually convinced girls they don't like other guys and they agreed with me before yes they do like me more.

    So it's all a game mate. Never take women too seriously. Again unless you know the BF and have seen him or he is calling your phone don't worry about it. Half the time they are lying, half the time they are testing you to see your reaction, and the last part is they do it to amuse themselves. That's why you don't give all your trust to the things women say but the things they do. They are simple creatures really and the BF really never matters unless like I said she never goes out, or you hit her up in the Club and right away you get the BF rejection I don't fight with those girls and give them validation as they are dedicated and I respect that. But when girls yank my chain for days or even just for the night I know there is a way to smash that dude. Women are so silly man keeping their options always open even while wthey have BF's like they will hookup with dudes if they like him regardless unless they are dedicated but the girls that are out alone with no BF in sight are usually all wild so you never have to take too much into account. Take it with a grain of salt. But do you want to marry this girl? Man there is plenty of girls out there, don't let one girl stop you from meeting other girls. Talk to her yes but meet other girls as well as an Alpha Male you are never really satisfied and girls hate that since most guys are douchebags they can wrap around their fingers but when you are the Alpha Male who has tons of chicks in his life they will be trying to lock you down dude. Not even joking my co-worker has a BF and wants me bad. She asked me to the Bar twice and already said she will ask again later. I turn her down everytime as I don't like dating chicks at work and taking what's handed to me I like going out and taking control of my own destiny and cherry picking the girls I like. So my thing is sarging for super fine women not going for work women. This indifference has been driving my co-worker crazy for me and she keeps flirting with me.

    Oh but one final thing. I love when they tell me "I have a BF" up in a hot club. Like what the heck are you doing in the Club then crazy girl? Then I catch them making out with that guy and that guy just got her number hmmm. See women man I have learned their little head games. I understand this whole BF thing. I love it cuz I know it is coming they have other rejections but that is their favorite and most times (not all) when they are out they want to hookup and like I said don't believe what I say. I had a HB9 eating out of the palm of my hand on the dancefloor, eyeing me, grinding with me, tried to kiss me and I turned her down due to being brand new to the Game at the time and she got pissed and left. Upon further investigation I followed her and she was married! WTF? Some married chick tried to have a one night smash with me? What's with the kiss? What's with the grinding? What's with the looks? What the heck is she doing in a friggin Club by herself with no man oh wait she's wanting to smash duh! She kissed me and left. Aww man! Rats I so had that, not again mate. I WILL NOT BE FOOLED LIKE THAT AGAIN!


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