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Thread: K-close anxiety.

  1. #1
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default K-close anxiety.

    For some reason I can't seem to kiss close during an interaction when I know the girl is interested in him... For some reason I'm scared to do it -.- . Lol it's not Approach Anxiety anymore, it's k-close rejection anxiety. Need some advice
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    Like the nike commericial yo. Just Do It
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  3. #3
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    I've never really had this problem, although I have experienced on a few occasions, the feeling of hesitation when wanting to kiss a girl. Usually only with a girl I really like. I have had those nerves before, but not on many occasions. Not since high school anyways, but that's a different story.

    One possibility is that you are rushing into the k close, before all the signs are there that would green light you to go in for the kiss. In this case, obviously, just spend more time flirting, don't rush things, and build more attraction.

    I would highly suggest that when you get that feeling of hesitation, don't push yourself. Forget the kiss for the moment and continue the interaction.. Don't focus on it too much and don't let it stifle you. When you do eventually go in for the kiss, you need to just do it.. Don't think too much about it. When the time is right kiss her; If you start feeling hesitant and nervous, put it off and keep conversing.

    The fact that you posted this means that this is something that you feel has been manifesting, and you have accepted it as an on-going problem. Don't do that. A lot of people have the same issue, and it's not a big deal unless you let it be. Don't beat yourself up over it.

    A good thing to keep in mind that might help your frame, is that girls love kissing just as much as we do. The kiss is her prize as well as yours.

    So! When you feel like a kiss will be well recieved, go in for the kiss. If you hesitate and get nervous IT'S OKAY. Let the moment pass; you don't want to kiss her while feeling that way. Do a little calibration while still conversing, breathe, smile, and wait for the next opportunity.. And then just DO IT!


  4. #4
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    The more you initiate touching early on, the easier & more natural the rest of physical contact will be. Including kissing.

    Also, make sure the girl is having fun! Very important.
    Fun eliminates fear, which lowers resistance /inhibitions & makes her more receptive to escalation.

    Girls LOVE to kiss! And they WANT to...
    Remember that.

    It's just gonna take a few times of you plowing through & getting the kiss. Then you'll blow your fear out of the water & it won't be an issue anymore.

    Now pucker up buttercup!!


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  5. #5
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    I know she wanted to kiss me but in my head I keep on thinking " what if she's just being friendly and that's not a sign." Usually I'd be able to do it if I didn't like the girl... But now i just don't know
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    Hey marvilo, like the others said and similar to overcoming Approach Anxiety, you just gotta do it. Usually, when you think the time is right to kiss, you should kiss her, your instincts work good here when you feel the right vibe is going on. If she pulls away but still continues to be around you, that a good sign, it means she is not ready yet but is still attracted to you. Pull back a step, build comfort and try again later. You may need to Isolate her if she is shy or not a fan of PDA (public display of affection), so move her to a more private location and escalate there. Good luck!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    You can always get HER to kiss you, if you're having that much trouble.

    When you sense that she's into being kissed and you've been flirting well, look her in the eyes & in a semi-serious / semi-sexual/teasing way, say to her:
    "You're gonna make me want to kiss you if you're not careful, little missy..." & smile & wink at her.

    Most of the time a girl will say something along the lines of "OK" or "I'm good with that" or "Then do it" etc...

    And sometimes they'll just kiss you right then & there.

    Whatever the case, you'll be able to gauge her reaction at that point & you'll know if she's into it.

    The thing is, there's really nothing for her to reject.
    You're not asking her if you can kiss her.
    You're not just going straight in for a kiss.

    You're giving her a possible future projection. Girls will almost always agree to future projections. Especially the more silly, wild & crazy they are, because it's almost like a form of role-playing.

    "You're gonna be my partner & we're totally moving to Fiji & sell t-shirts on the beach, and live in a hut! Let's pinky swear on it!!"

    Girls love that sort of silly stuff.

    So throw in some off the wall things like that before you bring up the kiss, and you should have zero resistance.



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  8. #8
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    When you sense that she's into being kissed and you've been flirting well, look her in the eyes & in a semi-serious / semi-sexual/teasing way, say to her:
    "You're gonna make me want to kiss you if you're not careful, little missy..." & smile & wink at her.

    Most of the time a girl will say something along the lines of "OK" or "I'm good with that" or "Then do it" etc...
    I often say "I wanna kiss you", while looking in her eyes with a flirty smirk. T-Mal is absolutely right, that's exactly the response I get.. Every time. I think most girls appreciate it and the anticipation turns them on.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    Here's one way to look at it. If she likes you she'll invite the kiss. If not you're not ruining anything by trying to kiss her. So what do you have to lose?

    I think like aa it has to do with outcome dependency. I find that my friends with the worst AA also have the hardest time with escalation. Do you still get a lot of AA?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: K-close anxiety.

    I have anxiety every time I kiss a girl for the first time. You have to just go for it. If you think you can, you probably can. I have only been turned down one time in the last 4 years and that's because I went for it in front of a bunch of people! If I would have isolated it would have been game on. It's nerve racking but you have to do it. Trust me, she will respect you more for it if she turns away, and it doesn't mean she doesn't want to. It just means she's not ready yet. If I'm really not sure I will run a compliance test first. I will grab her hand and if she holds my hand back I go in for the kiss. Works every time.


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