Strip clubs are one my favorite places to pick up women. Consider the logistics: you’re surrounded by gorgeous, scantily clad women. The alcohol is flowing, every element of the environment is designed for seduction — from the music, to the lighting — and every one of these hotties is eager to talk to YOU.
Of course, most guys who set foot inside strip clubs are content to be customers, forking over their cash for pointless lap dances and superficial conversations with women who view them as human ATM machines.
The pickup artist, however, views strip clubs as target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. These are also great places to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in “regular” settings.
Now, are strippers simply trying to separate you from the contents of your wallet? Of course they are-at first. It’s their job. But you can use tactics to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.
Put the right tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates that lead to sex — just as you would at a bar. Strippers aren’t the unattainable, unaffordable goddesses that most guys assume they are. They’re just women. It all comes down to knowing how to break through their facade, connect with them on a real level, and get them to feel genuine curiosity and attraction.
Here are ten of my tips for strip club success:
1. Go in with the right Mindset: when you’ve got game, you know you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. Strippers spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, predictable men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.
2. When you enter the club, walk around with your head held high, like you are totally familiar with this environment. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in, preferably near a speaker. (I’ll explain why in a moment.) Do not sit on “pervert row” (this is what the girls call the seats in front of the stage.)
3. When a stripper you like approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (”Whoa, easy there! Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”) Having a cocky, playful attitude goes a long way in the strip club. It conveys confidence and establishes that you understand her “game”-and aren’t going to follow her script.
Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a dance. Pretend like you didn’t hear her correctly-act like you think she asked YOU to dance for HER.
Say something like, “Are you sure you can afford me? I charge $100 for three songs, and no touching below the belt.”
Get her to sit down next to you, and ask her name. She’ll tell you her “dancer name.” (Mercedes, Porsche, Destiny, etc.) To this, give another playful response: “My dancer name is Hercules. I dance on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the club down the road. But I’ll tell you what if you tell me your real name, I’ll tell you mine. Just promise me you won’t stalk me or do anything weird.”
Say this playfully, and you’ll get her to laugh and tell her your real name. Now you’re starting the interaction on a genuine level, and you’re breaking her out of her “work” mind frame. Strippers, like salesmen, have a canned “script” that they use on every customer; when you control the interaction instead of answering her questions, she is unable to use her script and has no choice but to be real with you.
Preferably you’ll be sitting with her near a speaker (I suggested you choose this area to sit in), because now you can say “let’s move somewhere quieter, I want to be able to hear you.” This shows you value what she has to say, and gives it the feel like a “mini date”: you’re taking her somewhere, even if it’s just to the other side of the room. Physically leading a woman to another area is a great way to convey masculinity and confidence.
4. Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.”
“You’re cute, but I can tell there’s more to you than meets the eye. So tell me something about yourself that none of these customers would ever guess about you.” (Again, you’re framing yourself as not being a customer.)
5. Be respectful of her profession. Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. Then I’ll say, “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along.” (If she asks you “why you don’t date dancers,” be vague-just tell her, “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it sometime.” Then ask her another question that prompts her to keep thinking and sharing.
Another good line to use: “I know you must have some funny stories from working here. My friend is a dancer in Las Vegas, and she told me some hilarious stories about the customers who come in these places”
6. Befriend the staff: bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJs, managers, the owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value (or “social proof”) in the eyes of the dancers; again, you’re not a typical customer.
Befriending male staff members is easy: I’ll bring a can of Red Bull over to the doorman and say, “Here, I thought you could use this,” and give him the drink. Then tell him, “you must be the envy of all your friends-hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women every night and getting paid for it. By the way, my name’s Dean.”
Nine times out of ten, the doorman will proceed to tell you why working at a strip club is anything but exciting and glamorous. Have a few laughs with him; chat for a few minutes, then head back to your seat. He knows you now, and he’ll appreciate the gesture. Every time you return from now on, he’ll give you a warm welcome.
Befriending the manager or owner will give you even greater social proof. To do this, I’ll ask my waitress to point out the person who is running the place. Then I’ll walk up to the manager/owner, introduce myself, and tell them this is one of my favorite clubs. Then, I’ll say that I’m trying to find a good location for my buddy’s upcoming bachelor party and I think this place would be perfect. I’ll ask how much it would cost to reserve a VIP room and several dancers for a few hours.
(I never actually come back for any bachelor party; I just use this as an “ice breaker” to get to know the manager/owner. They’re happy to talk to me about this. When I return in the future, if they ever ask me about the bachelor party plans, I say with a smile, “well actually, it looks like we’ll be throwing him a divorce party pretty soon. Do you do those, too?”
7. Don’t forget, the girls are there to make money. Go on slow nights when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for their attention. When you sit down with a girl and you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her-but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)
8. During the conversation, apply the same tactics you would use on women in a bar. At all times, you will control the direction of the conversation and keep taking it to a deeper level, instead of trying to fill the time with pointless small talk.
9. One of the most effective ways to bond with a stripper is to get her to reveal her hidden talent and or/ambition. They’ve all got one. Strippers are used to customers treating them like brainless sex objects, and deeply appreciate it when a guy recognizes them for being more than that. This conversational thread also gives you the opportunity to reveal YOUR talent/ambition to her. (To women, a guy with passion and ambition is often MORE attractive than the guy who already has a lot of money.)
10. As far as “closing” with the dancer you like, you need to find a reason for her to to meet you after her shift ends. (Special tactics are necessary here, because strippers normally have a tendency to be flakes.)
Meeting up with her that same night needs to be your primary goal. This is why an essential part of seducing strippers is knowing two or three “go-to” spots that are within easy driving distance of the club, where you can meet and chill with her when she gets off work.
Always “oversell” these places to her. Instead of asking her to meet you at a bar (which sounds boring and ordinary), tell her that the bar has “the most amazing appetizers” or “the most incredible jukebox” or that “your buddy Mike the bartender makes the best margaritas you’ve ever tasted.” This provides additional motivation and frames you as a guy who is “in the know” and is going to turn her onto something cool.