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Thread: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

  1. #1
    cr108 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    I'm relatively new to these forums, and my track record with women can barely be called mediocre. I'm looking for some advice here on to proceed as a PUA. I know this post may be a bit long but please read it through carefully before you respond. In the past I've asked questions on forums where every single response raised points that were blatantly addressed in the original post. Not to sound like a jerk but I don't want anyone to waste their time or mine. Thanks in advance.

    To begin, I'd like to say I've read quite a few guides on talking to women, building attraction, and seduction in the past. Most of what I've read tends to agree with what I read on these forums. My problem is that as I continually try to follow the advice I've read time and again, the vast majority of it firmly conflicts with my personality. I'd like to know if there are any effective alternative PUA techniques a guy like me can use.

    I initially spent some time reflecting; trying to figure out why all the advice I've read wasn't working for me and the conflict of personality traits became obvious very quickly. Flat out, I am not a very playful person . . . with anyone, not really even guy friends. At least not in any sort of casual way. I may have obscure and complex banters with people I know very well, certainly never with any girl I was ever interested in. I'm not one to tease a girl either. Naturally, this makes any kind of flirting or attraction building (with traditional techniques) difficult, if not impossible. Indirect approaches lead nowhere and direct approaches come across as creepy 99% of the time (at least with any decently hot girl).

    Now I want to be absolutely clear here: this is not because I lack confidence, have anxiety, or am anti-social; I have a more serious outlook in my core personality that doesn't motivate me interact with people in the more playful ways guys typically use to build attraction with girls. I also want to point out that I don't appear serious in social situations. I am not uptight, I display what I've learned to be alpha-male body language, and I look sociable. Without going into too much detail, what I've called my 'seriousness' is actually a very integral part of my personality and it benefits me greatly in other areas of my life. In other words, it's not a side of myself I'll part with. If anything, my seriousness is my confidence, ambition, and intensity. Consequently, it is the fuel for any and all alpha-male traits I would embody. Looking at the traits listed by Virgil on the Great Alpha-Male Thread:

    confident, happy, dominant, secure of yourself, sexual, non-apologetic, relaxed, comfortable, interesting, exciting, listen to people, create confident and open body language
    Without my internal seriousness, almost all of these traits would be compromised in my personality. Yes, even being happy - I really do enjoy having my serious outlook.

    Moreover I am not willing to be insincere about myself in my game. Of course I'll hide things until the time is right but that's not the same as being outright insincere. So I'm not willing to fake playfulness for the sake of attracting girls, if I even could.

    I do have some attractive female friends, all 7+'s who know slightly more about PUA and attraction than most girls would. I know they still aren't the best sources for advice, but they do know me well and can offer feedback on my potential attractiveness. They've all told me basically the same thing about myself, essentially what I've come to realize but with a bit more. To paraphrase and combine their words to me:

    "Most of the things girls like that guys do I can't imagine you doing - it's just not you. If you tried it'd be fake and really hard to hide it, especially as she spends more time with you. You're good looking and you can be sexy, but you're like 'dark and mysterious' sexy, not charming or flirty."

    So how can one game as a 'dark and mysterious' guy? The whole not-playful and not-witty thing really seems to put a damper on any and all techniques I've seen thus far and anything that can be done by a guy like me would be a godsend. Or do my female friends not know what they're talking about in terms of that appeal? (meaning it doesn't exist outside of fiction - which is my looming suspicion)

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    Don't listen to anything women tell you about picking up women. Rule # 1 of picking up women.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    Also, look up videos of James Marshall. He's very quiet. Doesn't say much. He just plays the understated, mysterious, sexy guy.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    Hehe, yea agree with Duke. Asking women about pickup is like asking a meth addict how to quit using drugs. At best, use your lady friends as social proof and wings.

    Also, check out Mark Manson and his book and live seminar on "True Confidence." Mark Manson tried learning the textbook PUA stuff and hates it - the routines, gimmicks, as much as you do. When someone does that, it's performing or putting on an act and it muddies their identity. It is a form of overcompensating which is a coping mechanism for lack of confidence. His stuff really opened my eyes.

    He doesn't utilize the playful teases/flirting that many naturals do or get caught up in text game strategies. Anything that deals with tactics/strategies causes overthinking reinforces anxiety = not confident. He preaches that being a good with women is all about establishing a strong identity and not being afraid to express it, as women are attracted to how a man perceives himself. When one learns to embrace their insecurities they can get pass it to show vulnerability (the cornerstone of true confidence) and honest intentions.

    By establishing an identity and staying true to you it, you weed out women who are incompatible to you and attract the right women. By assortment theory, people tend to attract what they are. Hence, the old adage "birds of a feather flock together." So if you don't like a woman with tattoos, don't get tattoos just to "Peacock"

    So if you are the more serious logical type, this might be a good system for you. It just teaches you how to bring out the best in you without pretending to be something you are not.

  5. #5
    cr108 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    I'm impressed, you guys gave very good answers for which I'm extremely appreciative. I will definitely investigate the sources mentioned. Mark Manson sounds particularly interesting. Thank you.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    "Asking women about pickup is like asking a meth addict how to quit using drugs. "

    Lol.

  7. #7
    whatiswrongwithme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    You guys are right, honestly. For the most part, I'd say women tend to play games and talk to guys about things in a way that makes no sense.

    I'm posting on this forum because I've always been fascinated by this stuff and I know you might not trust anything I say because I'm a girl...but I guess the way I see it is...

    I want to help and I do have a ton of thoughts about the "brooding" image. The brooding guy who talks only when he actually feels like it...who women project their fantasies on...the guy who is "mysterious" is the guy who has that silent yet psychologically complex presence.

    Think about being mysterious as being a good suspense movie. The way to begin is by dropping little clues (foreshadowing) what’s about to come but never fully letting the audience know until the moment it arrives.

    When a woman is uncertain about what is about to come next, her mind gets fixated on knowing what happens next. If you want to keep her interested, build up anticipation in her.

    When a woman thinks to herself, “what will happen next?” she gets turned on. Remember, women and men are different in that women get turned on gradually, patiently and through the mind.

    Men are turned on faster and in a more straightforward way. A naked woman is going to turn you on. A naked man will not turn a woman on without the right priming. Priming her mind is going to get her to a place where she anticipates when she will see you next, what you’ll tell her next and what you’re going to do next.

    When it comes down to it, if you want to turn a woman on you want to build anticipation. You build anticipation by being mysterious and giving her just enough to want more but never letting her know what is coming next.
    Topics
    Destiny/fate
    Childhood
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    How emotions are hard for you to express (telling her this is a perfect way to frame yourself as the guy who has a story to tell and she’ll want to get that story out of you.

  8. #8
    TheGeneral's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    You can't truly fake being a mystery. You actually have to be a psychologically complex person, somewhat of an introvert, and a be little bit crazy.

    If you have those traits it's like holding a hand of 52 cards. You can show a girl 3 or 4 and she is going to be going crazy. If you only have 5 cards and you show 3 or 4 there isn't much left.

  9. #9
    whatiswrongwithme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    I think even if you're a boring person, if you let a woman fantasize and obsess over what you're like...it's a way to insert yourself into her mind but let HER be the one fixating, thinking and investing mental energy into an image of you she builds up.

    Trust me on this: women LOVE to create an ideal image of a guy and what he is like even if the man doesn't really do anything.

    Here's a way you could do it. Tell her a brief emotional snippet of something but never, ever ramble and fill in the blanks of the entire story.

    They key to being mysterious is having two things: 1) Stability 2) Vulnerability

    If you have both you are a walking turn on to girls who will project their imagination onto you. If you are not stable, this won't work. By stable I mean have your life together. At least making a choice to get your life together. When you give her emotional "fragments" you need to be aware women respond to emotions not logic. Women care about experiences you have had and how you felt not what the result was. Hint at a feeling and leave it for her to fill in blanks.

    For example (this is just a random example)
    "I don't really trust people at this point in my life..."
    She asks "Why?"
    you say, "I don't want to discuss it. Anyway...how are you?

    Another good way is to bring out the c-word: CRY. I'm dead serious. This is a word you can't use often but when you use it melting women is going to be ridiculously easy in some cases. Weird, I know. But women love when a normally stable, guarded guy reveals something like "i cried during ___ movie." or whatever it happens to be

  10. #10
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    Default Re: How does one game as a "dark and mysterious" guy?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeneral View Post
    If you have those traits it's like holding a hand of 52 cards. You can show a girl 3 or 4 and she is going to be going crazy. If you only have 5 cards and you show 3 or 4 there isn't much left.
    This. There is an old age technique, (social engineering,) for getting people to trust you more... which is revealing to someone a small secret. It doesn't have to be significant, however...

    The point is, I feel, that in order to play your mysterious side, you should captivate your target like a mystery hooks and interests an audience. If all was revealed to you like a magician's act, then it would make for the act to be incredibly uninteresting after the fact of demystifying. People are captivated when you have them hanging on the edge of their seat waiting to see what you are about to do next. ;D

    If dark and mysterious is the character you resonate with, then I would suggest watching/studying how an attractive dark and mysterious character acts in a movie. Your target should almost feel like he/she is traveling down a rabbit hole in excitement... just wondering what kind of layers of your personality she will get the pleasure of knowing next.

    -Jaribou


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